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No More Compromises (contains cursing)
17 years ago
Exactly what it says on the tin.
I am tired. I am tired of asking myself why nothing changes. I am tired of asking myself why everything I begin lies unfinished in a ruckus around me. I am tired of pretending to be someone I am not, and something I am not. I am tired of hearing 'Just a few minutes, and then I will'. I will not accept it any longer.
I intend to wake up tomorrow. In the damnable MORNING. I intend to wake to the sound of my radio, to eat breakfast--a proper breakfast, no more of this grazing garbage, one comprised of eggs and toast or perhaps bacon. I intend to wash myself after, not before, finding a change of clothes, and spending the day doing things that make a god damned DIFFERENCE in my life. I will kiss my loved one, and send in my voter registration card, and look for work for four hours solid.
I will meditate. I will *NOT* distract myself--not with games; not with the internet, not with snack food, not with anything. I will pick up my neglected sketchbook, and start--AND FINISH--at least three practice pieces. I will, if and only if, after doing all these things I still have time, play games before bed. Tuesday, I will clean my room without stop until I can vacuum at least half the floor. Wednesday is a way off yet, but when this goes according to plan--AND IT WILL GO ACCORDING TO PLAN--I will plan for wednesday.
The time has come, and the wind is shifting.
I am tired. I am tired of asking myself why nothing changes. I am tired of asking myself why everything I begin lies unfinished in a ruckus around me. I am tired of pretending to be someone I am not, and something I am not. I am tired of hearing 'Just a few minutes, and then I will'. I will not accept it any longer.
I intend to wake up tomorrow. In the damnable MORNING. I intend to wake to the sound of my radio, to eat breakfast--a proper breakfast, no more of this grazing garbage, one comprised of eggs and toast or perhaps bacon. I intend to wash myself after, not before, finding a change of clothes, and spending the day doing things that make a god damned DIFFERENCE in my life. I will kiss my loved one, and send in my voter registration card, and look for work for four hours solid.
I will meditate. I will *NOT* distract myself--not with games; not with the internet, not with snack food, not with anything. I will pick up my neglected sketchbook, and start--AND FINISH--at least three practice pieces. I will, if and only if, after doing all these things I still have time, play games before bed. Tuesday, I will clean my room without stop until I can vacuum at least half the floor. Wednesday is a way off yet, but when this goes according to plan--AND IT WILL GO ACCORDING TO PLAN--I will plan for wednesday.
The time has come, and the wind is shifting.
