"Borrowed" from  Drayk, because he's just so cool :D

[01] Do you have the guts to answer these questions and re-post as The Controversial Survey?

I..... I dunno man. Is it politically correct? I mean, I don't want to sound like some kind of---
Who the fuck am I kidding, this thing looks fun >:3

[02] Would you do meth if it was legalized?

You're going to have to specify the verb "do". I believe "use" would be more correct, under the circumstances.

[03] Abortion: for or against it?

I lack a vagina. However, I agree with Drayk and what a friend Paul said: "Abortion helps get babies to heaven faster!"
Additionally, think of the scientific advancements we could make! Stem-cells for everyone!

[04] Do you think the world would fail with a female president?

Actually, the Whitehouse needs either a female president or a really really gay one. Have you seen that place? It's MAKEOVER TIME.
We could even make it into a reality TV show called "While you were Campaigning" or some shit like that!

[05] Do you believe in the death penalty?

Go ask Gandhi. Furthermore, for those of us who read, you'll realize it is actually more expensive to kill someone than to keep them in jail/prison for most of their life.

[06] Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?

Oddly enough.... this.... might help with the US's low average intelligence. It seems like just the thing for "Assisted Natural Selection".

[07] Are you for or against premarital sex?

Are you wearing a condom? Yes? Okay, carry on.

[08] Do you believe in God?

Which one, damnit?! Do you people even realize how many their are?! Besides, who the fuck is this "god" fellow, anyway... doesn't he have a name or something?

[09] Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?

What is love?
Baby don't hurt me,
Don't hurt me,
No more!

[10] Do you think it's wrong that so many Hispanics are illegally moving to the USA?

Yeah, don't they know about our failing economy and hordes of ravenous rednecks? They'd be better off moving to Canada or somewhere in South America!

[11] A twelve year old girl has a baby, should she keep it?

Most girls are done playing with dolls around the age of .... 6?

[12] Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen?

Short of a dissertation, I'd say. "Yes, no go suck a Heineken, you MADD-bitches."

[13] Should the war in Iraq be called off?

Huh? It's a war, now? I thought we were just killing off our military and trying to piss off foreign powers in an effort to reduce our expenditures and cut US dependence on foreign oil...

[14] Assisted suicide is illegal: do you agree?

If you're so emo you have to get someone else to slit your wrist, prolly. No one should be that emo.
If you're in intense pain and can't even do more than blink and gargle a few sentences? It's your life, man. Do with it as you wish.

[15] Do you believe in spanking your children?

I dun have any, but that's a bit too kinky for me.
No, seriously. It's bad for you, it's bad for them. ESPECIALLY if they get into your Anita Blake books. Then it's bad for humanity.

[16] Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?

Wait, what? $1,000,000 to show my own freedom guaranteed me by the 1st Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America which just so happens to be an Inalienable Right to all Citizens and People? Awesome!

[17] Who do you think would make a better president? McCain or Obama?

You dumbass. Don't you know it's Palin vs. Obama? That McCain guy is just going to die of a heart attack or something just after the acceptance speech, and you know it.

[18] Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?

Im in ur /fa/, fursekyutan ur jernalz.