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Some Thoughts on Work and Passion
12 years ago
I've had a hard time keeping a job over the years. I've worked a lot of retail jobs, and one restaurant job previous to my current one. I had a hard time keeping any of these because I was absolutely miserable. Granted, not many people wake up in the morning and look forward to going to work, but this was a different level of hatred. I remember crying so many times on my breaks at walmart. I remember going home after a shift at FYE and being so incredibly pissed off at how my manager treated me. I wondered if I would ever find anything better or if I would be forever doomed to work mentally degrading jobs with people that I fucking hated.
At the end of the semester I applied for a photography and videography position. I had just learned how to use After Effects and Final Cut Pro and was super confident about getting this position since it was just through the school. I spent so much time to put together a demo reel and I made sure to be super professional during the interview. A week went by, and I was so hopeful to have a chance at a resume builder. Turns out that I didn't get the job. I was really upset at first, and felt pretty useless. I ended up calling back to this little cafe/restaurant that my friend had gotten me to apply for. The manager said I could come in and see how I liked it for a day.
I applied to be a dishwasher, realizing that it wasn't the most glamorous position, but shit at least I wouldn't have to deal with the public. I went to my first day and had a blast. I loved the people I worked with, they were funny and vulgar and laid back. The food was fabulous. And I was being offered $8 an hour which was better than the $7.25 I had been paid for the last 3 years at other jobs. So I took the job and was pleasantly surprised with how much I enjoyed being there.
I've been working there for going on 3 months now and have definitely exited my honeymoon period with it, yet I still don't hate my job by any means. Yes, I'm really tired after scrubbing dishes for 9 1/2 hours without much of a break. But you know what? Those are the fastest 9 1/2 hours that I've ever experienced. Yes, sometimes my coworkers can be pricks. But working in a kitchen I can be a sarcastic ass to them all day and its pretty well accepted. Kitchen humor is a beautiful art.
But I think the biggest determining factor about my job, and why I still don't hate it, is that I genuinely care about this place. I want it to succeed. When I was in high school a cafe opened up downtown, and it was my favorite place in the entire world. I didn't have internet, so I would go there to get online, get a coffee, look at some artwork and hang out with my friends. It was the only place in town other than walmart that you could acceptably spend time with people. This place meant a lot to me.
My sophomore year of college I was heading back home and asked a friend if he wanted to meet me there. He told me that it had closed down a few months earlier. It broke my heart to see this place, this oasis in the middle of small town west virginia, shut down, and to know that the owners were now very broke because of it. Till this day they have not sold the building, and every time I go back home it grows more and more decrepit, and the price on the for sale sign gets lower and lower. The cafe I work at now is everything that cafe from my home town ever wanted to be. And I do not want to see it come to the same fate.
My manager held a kitchen staff meeting today to talk about some issues. She was very angry about a lot of things, but it was a justifiable anger. She lets us know where she is coming from as the boss, and that makes me respect her so much more than any other manager that I have ever had. I respect that this is her business and her livelihood, and I truly feel that she respects me as a human being unlike most of the other people I've worked for in the past. She is a really strong person, and even though a lot of people tend to think that she's a bitch, I've come to learn that if someone somewhere isn't saying something bad about you, you are a complete pushover and won't get anywhere in life. Enemies make us stronger in that sense.
So even though I may just be a dishwasher at some hippie cafe, I really fucking care about this place. I care about my coworkers and I care about my boss.
When you truly give a shit about something, the little things tend to not matter as much. And that goes for artwork as well. If you do not have that passion to do something, then it will seem so much more difficult to do. It will be work. And that's why I believe so many people give up. It isn't something that just happens over night. It takes so much time and frustration that it isn't even funny. But if you really fucking care about it, and truly want to improve, then those little bumps in the road won't stand a chance.
So all in all, whether you're washing dishes or doing artwork or whatever else you might be doing in your life, find something that you're passionate about and do it as well as you possibly fucking can. Because if you really care about it, all the negative stuff won't even matter. Being in love with your work and watching the hours flow past like water is as close to bliss as one can get. Find that passion and go after it.
At the end of the semester I applied for a photography and videography position. I had just learned how to use After Effects and Final Cut Pro and was super confident about getting this position since it was just through the school. I spent so much time to put together a demo reel and I made sure to be super professional during the interview. A week went by, and I was so hopeful to have a chance at a resume builder. Turns out that I didn't get the job. I was really upset at first, and felt pretty useless. I ended up calling back to this little cafe/restaurant that my friend had gotten me to apply for. The manager said I could come in and see how I liked it for a day.
I applied to be a dishwasher, realizing that it wasn't the most glamorous position, but shit at least I wouldn't have to deal with the public. I went to my first day and had a blast. I loved the people I worked with, they were funny and vulgar and laid back. The food was fabulous. And I was being offered $8 an hour which was better than the $7.25 I had been paid for the last 3 years at other jobs. So I took the job and was pleasantly surprised with how much I enjoyed being there.
I've been working there for going on 3 months now and have definitely exited my honeymoon period with it, yet I still don't hate my job by any means. Yes, I'm really tired after scrubbing dishes for 9 1/2 hours without much of a break. But you know what? Those are the fastest 9 1/2 hours that I've ever experienced. Yes, sometimes my coworkers can be pricks. But working in a kitchen I can be a sarcastic ass to them all day and its pretty well accepted. Kitchen humor is a beautiful art.
But I think the biggest determining factor about my job, and why I still don't hate it, is that I genuinely care about this place. I want it to succeed. When I was in high school a cafe opened up downtown, and it was my favorite place in the entire world. I didn't have internet, so I would go there to get online, get a coffee, look at some artwork and hang out with my friends. It was the only place in town other than walmart that you could acceptably spend time with people. This place meant a lot to me.
My sophomore year of college I was heading back home and asked a friend if he wanted to meet me there. He told me that it had closed down a few months earlier. It broke my heart to see this place, this oasis in the middle of small town west virginia, shut down, and to know that the owners were now very broke because of it. Till this day they have not sold the building, and every time I go back home it grows more and more decrepit, and the price on the for sale sign gets lower and lower. The cafe I work at now is everything that cafe from my home town ever wanted to be. And I do not want to see it come to the same fate.
My manager held a kitchen staff meeting today to talk about some issues. She was very angry about a lot of things, but it was a justifiable anger. She lets us know where she is coming from as the boss, and that makes me respect her so much more than any other manager that I have ever had. I respect that this is her business and her livelihood, and I truly feel that she respects me as a human being unlike most of the other people I've worked for in the past. She is a really strong person, and even though a lot of people tend to think that she's a bitch, I've come to learn that if someone somewhere isn't saying something bad about you, you are a complete pushover and won't get anywhere in life. Enemies make us stronger in that sense.
So even though I may just be a dishwasher at some hippie cafe, I really fucking care about this place. I care about my coworkers and I care about my boss.
When you truly give a shit about something, the little things tend to not matter as much. And that goes for artwork as well. If you do not have that passion to do something, then it will seem so much more difficult to do. It will be work. And that's why I believe so many people give up. It isn't something that just happens over night. It takes so much time and frustration that it isn't even funny. But if you really fucking care about it, and truly want to improve, then those little bumps in the road won't stand a chance.
So all in all, whether you're washing dishes or doing artwork or whatever else you might be doing in your life, find something that you're passionate about and do it as well as you possibly fucking can. Because if you really care about it, all the negative stuff won't even matter. Being in love with your work and watching the hours flow past like water is as close to bliss as one can get. Find that passion and go after it.
I guess the first paid job I ever had was doing some painting for both my dad and step dad. For my step dad, I had to scrape off the old paint and re-paint both the front door frame and the garage door frames. It was hot, it took forever, and I was alone while doing it. It paid $100, which was pretty good, but assuming I'm under the same conditions, I wouldn't do it again. The painting I did with my dad, however, felt much more meaningful. We were painting his living room (and a discernibly different color, too, not like white replacing a light beige), and we actually worked together on it and got it done in about 5 hours. I got paid $40 for that one, and would gladly do it again, since it was nice indoor conditions, and I could actually chat with my father as we worked.
Finally, I got an actual job last year at WVU, helping to clean up the football stadium after a game. How bad could it be, I said?
...Yeah, pretty bad.
It was hot out, it rained for a bit, there was garbage left just lying around absolutely EVERYWHERE, because people had not enough regard for others to hold onto it and go find a trash can (which is the part that pissed me off the most). In the middle of it, they picked a bunch of us to go clean up the parking lot. I was assigned to a small group, and we each had a different role. Mine was to sweep up all the smaller stuff with a freaking broom and dustpan. And for what? I'm pretty sure there was some cleaning vehicles coming around, anyway, so why waste my time? I eventually came back in to pick up trash again, and I was just so sore and sweaty by the end of it. After 5 hours, we still weren't even done, apparently, and they wanted us to come in tomorrow. I told them I was busy, they said okay, I trudged my way home, and never heard from them again, even if I tried contacting them for a work schedule. I hate that job. It felt completely pointless and thankless. I got my paycheck, though, but it only ended up being $28 after taxes. Ughh...
Anyway, I have a volunteer job now, helping clean the cages for a cat rescue, and I'm liking it. My employer really appreciates my help, and the other day this woman and her child were in the pet store while I was cleaning and kept coming around to say hi to the kittens. It made the kid happy, and before she left, the mother said "thank you" to me. It might be a non paying volunteer job, but moments like that...they made it worth it.
Hope you enjoyed my wall o' text dere, Sporky!
I'm seriously considering applying to another place for a warehouse job, since it comes with a steady 9-5:30 schedule and no weekends; only thing stopping me right now is a wisdom tooth that needs extracting, and who knows whether their dental insurance would consider that a pre-existing condition?