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Hey Everyone......
12 years ago
Alright, so... This is my FIRST journal. And before I get into what this is really for, I'd like to say I love being part of this community! :D I want to say though, that while it's not the way to START my journals, I feel the need.
Okay, soooo. Let's start from ehh, the beginning, shall we?
Just recently in July, I started fussing more and more about my parents smoking, and I'm assuming dad got tired of it, and made me a promise-deal. That promise-deal was that come AUGUST 1ST, he'd drop the cigarettes, and smoke no more. We agreed that he could use the electronic one, because not only is it healthier, but it's cheaper. He said he couldn't speak for mom, but he'd do it. After talking to mom, he convinced her, and they both were to stop on August 1st.
All good, right?? Ehhh.
They had one or two cigarettes left on the first. I was NICE and let them have them. It's one left apiece anyways. SO! They'd stopped after that. Since then, I had left for about a week, then came back. I was under the impression they'd still not smoked except the electronic cigarette.
All good, right????? WRONG!!
I caught mom putting out a cigarette yesterday, and didn't think nothing of it at the time. Quite frankly, the thought didn't even cross my mind. Today, I caught both of them smoking, and they thought I didn't see it. They were across the street, and was unaware that I saw. I made it quite apparent that I saw, and that I was mad. A promise is a promise after all. Then dad says stuff later on like "It's not like ONE cigarette matters every now and then." or "3-4 a day is better than 2 packs a day!" THAT told me they'd been doing it when I'm not paying attention, or not at home. Ugh, by then I was getting madder. Another comment made was "I didn't have a cigarette, and you can't prove it." Mom wasn't there, and I hadn't spoken to her, so I started to go off. I told him "A PROMISE IS A PROMISE, AND I DO HAVE PROOF. I saw you with one across the street, you just admitted to smoking over the past few days, and there's ashes all over the bench that I CLEANED before I left." He said nothing, and I was quite angry. By then, it was time for work, and I left.
SO, I just got to my grandparents' house, and the first words grandma says (other than Hi, how was your day) "Dad says he was naughty, and that he's been smoking. You know it's hard to quit." I understand it's hard, it's smoking. I don't smoke, but I understand. I insisted that a deal was a deal, and that they said they'd QUIT, not SMOKE ONE EVERYDAY.
Which then got me to thinking... Since my 13th birthday (which resulted in everyone arguing, and leaving the table), certain promises have been broken. Some even before then. "I PROMISE YOU A PARTY AT POINT MALLARD FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!" "I PROMISE YOU A PSP FOR CHRISTMAS!" "I'LL COME TO YOUR SENIOR AWARDS DAY!!" Each of those were broken. Along with one as a child "I'LL COME SEE YOUR MINDS IN MOTION SHOW AT SCHOOL!" and another "I PROMISE TO GET SENIOR PICTURES WITH YOUR FRIENDS." It all just... I dunno.
It just seems like more and more, they don't care about how they hurt me.
I'm sorry, I just really feel the need to vent that all out... :(
Okay, soooo. Let's start from ehh, the beginning, shall we?
Just recently in July, I started fussing more and more about my parents smoking, and I'm assuming dad got tired of it, and made me a promise-deal. That promise-deal was that come AUGUST 1ST, he'd drop the cigarettes, and smoke no more. We agreed that he could use the electronic one, because not only is it healthier, but it's cheaper. He said he couldn't speak for mom, but he'd do it. After talking to mom, he convinced her, and they both were to stop on August 1st.
All good, right?? Ehhh.
They had one or two cigarettes left on the first. I was NICE and let them have them. It's one left apiece anyways. SO! They'd stopped after that. Since then, I had left for about a week, then came back. I was under the impression they'd still not smoked except the electronic cigarette.
All good, right????? WRONG!!
I caught mom putting out a cigarette yesterday, and didn't think nothing of it at the time. Quite frankly, the thought didn't even cross my mind. Today, I caught both of them smoking, and they thought I didn't see it. They were across the street, and was unaware that I saw. I made it quite apparent that I saw, and that I was mad. A promise is a promise after all. Then dad says stuff later on like "It's not like ONE cigarette matters every now and then." or "3-4 a day is better than 2 packs a day!" THAT told me they'd been doing it when I'm not paying attention, or not at home. Ugh, by then I was getting madder. Another comment made was "I didn't have a cigarette, and you can't prove it." Mom wasn't there, and I hadn't spoken to her, so I started to go off. I told him "A PROMISE IS A PROMISE, AND I DO HAVE PROOF. I saw you with one across the street, you just admitted to smoking over the past few days, and there's ashes all over the bench that I CLEANED before I left." He said nothing, and I was quite angry. By then, it was time for work, and I left.
SO, I just got to my grandparents' house, and the first words grandma says (other than Hi, how was your day) "Dad says he was naughty, and that he's been smoking. You know it's hard to quit." I understand it's hard, it's smoking. I don't smoke, but I understand. I insisted that a deal was a deal, and that they said they'd QUIT, not SMOKE ONE EVERYDAY.
Which then got me to thinking... Since my 13th birthday (which resulted in everyone arguing, and leaving the table), certain promises have been broken. Some even before then. "I PROMISE YOU A PARTY AT POINT MALLARD FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!" "I PROMISE YOU A PSP FOR CHRISTMAS!" "I'LL COME TO YOUR SENIOR AWARDS DAY!!" Each of those were broken. Along with one as a child "I'LL COME SEE YOUR MINDS IN MOTION SHOW AT SCHOOL!" and another "I PROMISE TO GET SENIOR PICTURES WITH YOUR FRIENDS." It all just... I dunno.
It just seems like more and more, they don't care about how they hurt me.
I'm sorry, I just really feel the need to vent that all out... :(
