Okay, so I know that getting into an internet debate is stupid and pointless for the most part. It doesn't have to do with people, it's just that in a debate, it's difficult enough to convince someone in person, and almost impossible through the veil of anonymity on the internet.

But what's really bad is that for me, it's an incredibly, severely stressful experience, mainly the waiting for the response. You see, unlike in person, with that anonymity, people are much more likely to be insulting to you at certain points; it's just easier. It's not even outright mudslinging either, which is easy to ignore, more things along the lines of "Wow, I didn't realize you were so ignorant," or whatnot. Sometimes it's subtler than that, sometimes it isn't. Tone makes things incredibly difficult too. A certain sentence can be read as insulting or not depending on the tone, which is very difficult to convey through text.

I am very very sensitive to these insulting treatments. It's mainly what makes the waiting for a reply so incredibly panic-inducing for me. And I accept that sometimes I read insults where they aren't there. There's no way to verify it either; if the person insulted you passive-aggressively, they're obviously going to deny that it happened just as fervently as they would if they meant nothing by it.

But there's a certain level of exasperating bullshit that happens, and something similar just happened now. When I tell somebody that there has most likely been a misunderstanding on my part, and that we're most likely in agreement, but that I have to stop due to anxiety... and then I keep getting pressed anyways? I just... I have no response to that sort of thing. I can't say I expressed those feelings with the full eloquence I am capable of due to my spiraling into anxiety, but surely—SURELY—most people would be able to see that I have said I am having anxiety issues and take that into account.

I just feel like absolute shit right now, especially from having to block people because they don't seem to be getting the whole "please stop talking to me about this, I'm having an anxiety attack" angle.

I don't know. I know it's more complicated than that. For instance, another aspect of my anxiety is that as long as things are heated, I'll feel shitty for a week if I end the conversation myself by not responding to a comment, because they will have said some assumption, insult, point that I can clarify, etc. that I will want to have a chance to respond to... and then of course they'll respond in turn. It can theoretically be stopped at any time by just ceasing to reply, (unless they're super-douchebags and start harassing you) but it doesn't generally help my anxiety. So as long as I'm replying, people are probably going to assume I want to keep doing so... but they must know about the desire to have the last word themselves as well. This isn't something utterly unique to myself, it just bothers me more than most people. (And God forbid, apparently, that I say I'm going to stop commenting and then change my mind when I find it too difficult.)

It's much, much easier when they just go into full-on crazy harassment mudslinging mode, because then I stop caring... but that's not what happened this time. They just seemed to completely fail to understand what I was saying... or maybe they were enough of a jerk that it didn't matter. I don't know.

When you've told the other person you think they're right, and ask them to stop talking about it for the sake of your mental health, and they keep doing it, I just don't know what to think. Are they that much of a jerk? Am I that bad at communicating? What am I missing?

*sighs, covers eyes with paws*