FA+
Shop
[NSFW] De Rerum Naturae IV, 12: "Of naughty bits shapes"
12 years ago
In my last upload some people complained about the shape of the character's naughty bits(1), this is so normal and common I'm really okay with it, it happens in every submission ever because i belong to the cult of humanoid bits(1), and also in the cult of bits(1), bits everywhere(1). In fact, animal genitalia is a ground where i feel so strongly against that it's the top reason for commission declining.
People have tastes, they express them, nothing is harmed, but there's little to argue about, so i never reply to those comments, or -well- i used to and i kinda stopped. So here's a general badly written sarcastic reply to the very contentious argument of why i draw human-like naughty bits(1):
1- The socio-cultural:
In the Italian language the dog genitalia fits the social role of the worst designed thing ever. From my art school: "wow, this drawing is total dog dick" to my mom "oh, lol, your first attempt at cooking pasta was dog dick". Why the poor doggy bits were relegated to be the italian medieval equivalent of Comic Sans is a mystery to me, and has probably a lot to do with monks and scholars trying weird stuff with their best friends and getting very disappointed.
2- The HD conundrum:
If i draw it, pictures of it will be on my computer.
If i keep drawing it, very high resolution pictures of it will be all over my fucking computer.
If i really really keep drawing it, 4000x5000x32bit high resolution crisp pictures of it will be on MY DESKTOP.
This doesn't bode well for animal cocks.
3- The HD conundrum - part2:
If i draw it, pictures of it will have to be googled.
If i keep drawing it, very high resolution pictures of it will have to be googled among dozen of cancer/diseased/mutilated pictures of it.
If i really really keep drawing it, 4000x5000x32bit high resolution crisp pictures of it will have to be extracted from the necronomicon.
This doesn't bode well for animal cocks.
4-MarketingArtistic vision.
A 1998 study in the university of Milan proved that 85.56% of gay male humans find easier to fap in front of human-like cocks(2).
5- Good manners.
If you draw something you tend to accumulate fans of that thing, that also includes fans of human cocks, Luis XVII-style closets and drawers, and non-porn. A sudden change to something your fans aren't used to, like animal penises, late XIX century Liberty-styled closets and drawers, and uploading that secret folder you denied it existed 'till yesterday, is kinda impolite and will cause widespread resentment and betrayal-tons(3).
6- The Euclid problem
Despite the mathematical notion that animal cocks look awesome in all conditions except blindness, they do present some geometrical challenges in placement, and artistic challenges in sudden color jumps, unnatural-looking fleshy colors, rough texture, and clumsy shapes. In fact, i would say most animal-shaped genitalia doesn't look animal nor fitting at all, it's at best fursuit-shaped genitalia.
7- The Goethe problem.
Despite the artistic notion that cocks look like cocks in all conditions except in [redacted]'s drawings, human cocks have indeed a certain expressionist value to them: flaccid, half flaccid, into it, kinda into it, not sure but drunk, leaning to left but strongly republican, jumpy and positive, been there done that, this-wasn-t-there-before-i-swear, and romantic but with a hint of naughtiness.
8- You can't install Linux on animal-shaped genitalia.
I don't trust equipment you can't install Linux on.
I hope that settles it.
(1) Cock.
(2) The rest was comfy enough while in front of brick walls and various furniture pieces as long as they didn't contain grandma's photos.
(3) And you'll be accused to be a complete sellout, which is very irritating, considering you are an EXPENSIVE POPUFUR ELITIST sellout, not just some random "commissions for 5$" sellout.
People have tastes, they express them, nothing is harmed, but there's little to argue about, so i never reply to those comments, or -well- i used to and i kinda stopped. So here's a general badly written sarcastic reply to the very contentious argument of why i draw human-like naughty bits(1):
1- The socio-cultural:
In the Italian language the dog genitalia fits the social role of the worst designed thing ever. From my art school: "wow, this drawing is total dog dick" to my mom "oh, lol, your first attempt at cooking pasta was dog dick". Why the poor doggy bits were relegated to be the italian medieval equivalent of Comic Sans is a mystery to me, and has probably a lot to do with monks and scholars trying weird stuff with their best friends and getting very disappointed.
2- The HD conundrum:
If i draw it, pictures of it will be on my computer.
If i keep drawing it, very high resolution pictures of it will be all over my fucking computer.
If i really really keep drawing it, 4000x5000x32bit high resolution crisp pictures of it will be on MY DESKTOP.
This doesn't bode well for animal cocks.
3- The HD conundrum - part2:
If i draw it, pictures of it will have to be googled.
If i keep drawing it, very high resolution pictures of it will have to be googled among dozen of cancer/diseased/mutilated pictures of it.
If i really really keep drawing it, 4000x5000x32bit high resolution crisp pictures of it will have to be extracted from the necronomicon.
This doesn't bode well for animal cocks.
4-
A 1998 study in the university of Milan proved that 85.56% of gay male humans find easier to fap in front of human-like cocks(2).
5- Good manners.
If you draw something you tend to accumulate fans of that thing, that also includes fans of human cocks, Luis XVII-style closets and drawers, and non-porn. A sudden change to something your fans aren't used to, like animal penises, late XIX century Liberty-styled closets and drawers, and uploading that secret folder you denied it existed 'till yesterday, is kinda impolite and will cause widespread resentment and betrayal-tons(3).
6- The Euclid problem
Despite the mathematical notion that animal cocks look awesome in all conditions except blindness, they do present some geometrical challenges in placement, and artistic challenges in sudden color jumps, unnatural-looking fleshy colors, rough texture, and clumsy shapes. In fact, i would say most animal-shaped genitalia doesn't look animal nor fitting at all, it's at best fursuit-shaped genitalia.
7- The Goethe problem.
Despite the artistic notion that cocks look like cocks in all conditions except in [redacted]'s drawings, human cocks have indeed a certain expressionist value to them: flaccid, half flaccid, into it, kinda into it, not sure but drunk, leaning to left but strongly republican, jumpy and positive, been there done that, this-wasn-t-there-before-i-swear, and romantic but with a hint of naughtiness.
8- You can't install Linux on animal-shaped genitalia.
I don't trust equipment you can't install Linux on.
I hope that settles it.
(1) Cock.
(2) The rest was comfy enough while in front of brick walls and various furniture pieces as long as they didn't contain grandma's photos.
(3) And you'll be accused to be a complete sellout, which is very irritating, considering you are an EXPENSIVE POPUFUR ELITIST sellout, not just some random "commissions for 5$" sellout.
Keep it up, champ *proud*
Also, I request a How-To on installing Linux on human cocks. Cause I think I'd get very high performance. Depends on the distro, though.
So don't worry about it alpha. If the people in FA wanted realism that much, they wouldn't be on FA (No furry char is realistic).
And it scares me that you installed Linux on at least one human penis.
XD
There are times where animal fits better. Your pictures aren't of those.
Of course, it's just a matter of personal preference what shape one likes best.
So no bother on changing it
You don't honestly believe that.
i maed a punnBut seriously now (can one get serious over a discussion of “naughty bits”?), I was only in Furry for about a year before it struck me that “anthropomorphic” meant ‘human-like’. Not everything in a furry character was human or animal.
The furry artist (or writer) got to pick which parts of his/her character that were human and which parts were animal! He/she could go wild with combinations of both! It was the Freedom to Choose all over again and no choice was wrong!!! It was like suddenly being considered an adult!
Years have passed since then and my eyes have grown weary over the arguments still raging about what should or shouldn’t be considered anthropomorphic, or more to the point, “correct“. Almost as if there was some anthro “bible” or “holy book” hidden in a remote monastery somewhere containing the divinely inspired list of what can and can not be shown in anthro/furry pictures, or what anthro/furry characters in furry stories should or should not be able of do.
Bloody religious wars have started over equally unprovable assertions. Just how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
If naughty bits can be a subject for argument, shouldn’t the choice between digitigrade and plantigrade legs be too? Or how about what the position of a sad anthro character’s tail should be as compared to the position and appearance of the tail of a happy, or horny anthro character?
Just think. Once we have this all settled, as to what is right and what is wrong in drawing a “correct“ furry character, we can have our own version of the Spanish Inquisition here in Furry to punish heretical artists that stray from that 'righteous path of drawing'.
“Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!”
Though you sir, make very accurate and appealing hyooman bits that go wonderful with the characters you draw, which is the reason why I began watching you.
But no, there's no point being annoyed at it, it's just all silly :3
Seriamente, adoro questo tuo commento ironico sulle forme falliche, è geniale xD
Grazie.
I too belong to the "cult of humanoid bits". The only time I draw them is if someone I know commissions me for them, and I relent because I don't find my own art very attractive, so it doesn't need to look sexy to me.
uh
we are talking about imaginary human-animal hybrids here. There is no such thing as correct or incorrect.
And keep doing what you want to do.
Thanks for articulating this :D
And this whole Furry terminology still cracks me up. ( "Anatomically correct" basically means "Yeah, I really like dog dick", in case you didn't know. ) It's about time for a "Furry to English" dictionary.
Either way, thank you for keeping your artistic integrity and not pandering. :)
To translate that into anthropomorphics is to put a square peg into a round hole (please excuse this untimely pun). I wouldn't want to piss in an upwards arch as a canine anthro or hold half of my cock in my hands to aim as an equine anthro...
Simply comes down to my desires. I didn't know you were not into drawing them. I guess, yes, this does explain why commissions would dry up a bit - when you choose not to draw certain things, folks who like those things are not going to ask for something you do not wish to draw :(.
There are a number of artists who feel as you do, too. Some folks its actually wrong to base penis designs off of animal designs - that it is wrong to objectionalize a creature of nature into a sex object. That is perhaps a more moral stance than any I've heard; yet, every major culture on the planet has done just that. Anyway, that can get very deep.
In the end? Haha, it's the internet, whatever you did people would have an issue with it - draw horsedicks and everyone gets upset; draw human dicks and everyone else gets upset.
Better you do what is right for you than for what anyone else desires, really. Don't let the will of others circumvent or force yours. I'll love your art regardless, hehe. I'm still a fan of animal genitalia, so if you go that way its just a bonus to something that is already pretty kickass :D.
"you're asking the impossible", no i'm not, people like you alpha show me it's not. Like you said up there, you like it because it gives this kinda sensual air to it, but not vulgar, not stupid...
That actually tells me, even porn, like anything else, needs composition... but that is another topic.
Point is: i agree with you, just think that it can't be all that evil if used right (DON'T ASK ME WHAT WOULD BE A GOOD USE OF A NON HUMAN DICK! I'M JUST SAYING THAT, IF THERE IS, PEOPLE ARE NEGLECTING IT). Like, dunno, reptiles and their internal bits, or even sharks with two...
I hope you got my point :<