This happened about in the middle of last week. I arrive at my parents house like I usually do. And both my mother and father were acting strange. I knew something was up, like maybe they argued with each other or something that was going blow over in a couple of hours. I wasn't expecting their silence to be about me. They pull me to the side in their rooms away from my younger brothers.

They asked me if I was gay. In shock from hearing an unexpected question I denied it quickly. They told me that they found out through a friend from church and they wanted to confront my parents about my sexuality.

Here is where it gets a bit confusing. That friend X proclaim that she had a friend (friend Y) who went through my Facebook and found gay posts and general things about gay events I been to. Which is why friend X went to my parents to confirm the information. What Confused me is how does she know I have that type of shit on my facebook. people on my facebook are all buds that know who I am and I wouldn't have anybody who doesn't know about me. Plus My facebook was set in private or friends only so it confuses me even more. Unless I have snitch. So I deactivating my account entirely.

They asked me again. I told them no. I had no intention of telling them in the first place. But then they said that they would prefer to hear the truth and to confirm it. Problem was i felt cornered. i didn't want to tell them, and if I didn't, things were gonna get worst plus people in their church had been already talking about it behind my back. I don't know why they were so concern about what I'm doing with my life.

So I just admitted to them. of course they werent happy. They had that look of despair, like it was the end of their world. They started to babble about how they will still love me no matter what, that I'm grown and I can make my own path, and if I was sure. You know, that general "I came out the closet bullshit questions". I told them bluntly that I swing both ways preferring men. They said they don't like it but they will pray for me. Whatever.

I felt uncomfortable, everything was tense and I just wanted to end the conversation. My parents said they want me to keep my sexuality on the downlow. Because they have reputation at their church. Which of course shouldn't surprise me at all, they always been like that. God First Then me. I was pissed but I let it slide and agreed. It was no ones business about what I do with myself. My Happiness is My Happiness.

Here is what hurt me the most. Even though they said the will still love me and nothing will change. Was bullshit.fucking bullshit. For the past few days they been keeping their distance from me. They don't casually talk to me anymore, we only exchange little bits of words when we need something from each other. I mean they still work with me. But it's obvious they changing how they act towards me. And out of everything, that what hit me the most. I felt like I lost two friends. My parents were like my buds. Some of you say is weird but at Least I could Say that they were. And that's an amazing thing that alot of people don't have and take for granted. And now I lost it.

I'm not Depressed, I'm more upset and pissed off. I never had the intention of telling my parents about me. I never had that guilty conscience, nor felt that heavy burden of them not knowing. You know that usual " I must tell my parents who I really am or its gonna eat me alive" is just bunch of Homo-Drama. I was happy, They Were happy. Why change it? Wait I'm Living a lie and they deserve to know? I never cared that they didn't know. I was doing my own thing and I fine with it. And they deserve to know what I tell them. Plus its not like that's the only secret I keeping from them.

General Summary of The Journal:
Parents change their behavior towards me, Religion is filled with Hypocrites and buttsniffing assholes.

I'll get back to drawing now.