why can't anything work out in my favor...? i get this great opportunity handed to me, but i have to be perfect; this fucking bar is set so high that i have no chance of reaching it. why can't i get a break...? others get so many second chances and i can't even get one....

maybe i was supposed to die in that crash. it seems like life has been pushing my mom and me so far and the only way we can catch a break is to die... it's not like we've influenced anything... no one's life has been effected in any large amount by our living... with my death my mom would have probably killed herself long ago. she's even admitted as much. i just don't want to deal with this shit anymore, but i can't leave my mom here alone....

why can't something go our way..? is that really too much to ask for?