So yesterday my cat tried to kill me in my sleep.

I went to bed at like 2 pm because being the brilliant person I am, I stayed up all night watching retarded clips on YouTube instead of doing real work and I forgot that I had closed my door and locked it with my cat still in the room.

Well, our cat food and water is out of my room and my cat likes to constantly go to the water dish like every 30 minutes and come back in my room to sleep on my computer and when my cat went for another drink she found the door to be closed.

Now, what is the logical solution when this happens? Obviously not to wake me up by her constant annoying meowing, because that’s been overdone. Instead she decided it'd be a good idea, while I was sleeping, to start clawing at my neck to wake me up. Well luckily, the shear pain got me up before she cut my jugular and bled to death and let her outside.

Now I’m afraid to go to sleep again because if I forget to open the door or something, she’s gonna kill me in my sleep.

Thanks you f-in' psychotic cat, I’ll never be able to sleep safely around you again. :1