I shouldn't be doing this to myself, I am a good person who has just done some bad things, those bad things being that I have pushed people away but that shouldn't stop me from making new friends and cause me to leave the fandom.

I am sick to death of going through this same cycle and I'm sure a lot of other people are getting sick of these same kind of journals, its ruining my life and it needs to stop.

So I need to pull myself up from this and just carry on, if I have lost people in my life I have lost them that's life I owe it to a lot of people including myself to not give up.

So ignore that last journal, this is not goodbye I'm going to get a grip and push forward, like I have always done, but this time I'm not going to stop pushing forward

I have reinstalled garrys mod so I will be making more comics I owe it to my watchers and I'm going to have a go at writing Tane's back story and getting some artwork done.

I just wanna say thank you to the people who have always given me words of encouragement whenever I post a journal like that, it really means a lot that you would take the time to help me, I cant waste that, and I'm sorry you have all had to see journals like this.