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The Single Life
12 years ago
Ace Fox in a box!
Why is it when I have so much to give to someone, so much to offer and craving the chance to share the joys of life with, I can't seem to find someone? I'm not asking you to jump through hurdles and dodge bullets, just asking for someone to give me a chance to prove myself.
Not saying I'll take just anyone obviously. I mean, there are such things as standards now days and you should hold yourself to a standard. I work out. I eat healthy (most of the time) and I'm trying to quit smoking. I buy nice clothes and keep up my appearance not only for the benefit of being someone's eye candy, but because that's how I wanna look and how I feel. I like being able to take my shirt off and not have to worry. I look at myself in the mirror and like what I see. (No, I'm not egotistical, I just have pride in myself because I've earned it)
I'm a passionate, hopeless romantic lover who wants nothing more than to please who I'm with. I want to cook you dinner and share a cup of wine, and cuddle up on the couch to watch a movie. I want to hold your hand as we walk along the beach and retire to bed to hold each other in our sleep.
I've got money, cars, friends, a fursuit, a stable job that I plan on making a 20 year long career with AMAZING benefits not only for myself, but for someone who over time, I'd like to share with. I couldn't even tell you the half of it, but you would be assured that you could live your life and do what you'd want to be happy. You'd have food in the fridge, gas in your car, money to pay your bills, a roof over your head and a loving partner to share a bed with.
But why is it nobody wants this from me? I'm not saying this as a way of bribery, but just showing what I can bring to you in a relationship.
Sorry, completely random, hopeless rant.
Please don't reply with the generic "Oh you'll find someone" "You're too young to worry about love" "I wish I could, but *insert stupid reason here*" or any other of that crap. I want a discussion, your own tales of love and heartache.
Not saying I'll take just anyone obviously. I mean, there are such things as standards now days and you should hold yourself to a standard. I work out. I eat healthy (most of the time) and I'm trying to quit smoking. I buy nice clothes and keep up my appearance not only for the benefit of being someone's eye candy, but because that's how I wanna look and how I feel. I like being able to take my shirt off and not have to worry. I look at myself in the mirror and like what I see. (No, I'm not egotistical, I just have pride in myself because I've earned it)
I'm a passionate, hopeless romantic lover who wants nothing more than to please who I'm with. I want to cook you dinner and share a cup of wine, and cuddle up on the couch to watch a movie. I want to hold your hand as we walk along the beach and retire to bed to hold each other in our sleep.
I've got money, cars, friends, a fursuit, a stable job that I plan on making a 20 year long career with AMAZING benefits not only for myself, but for someone who over time, I'd like to share with. I couldn't even tell you the half of it, but you would be assured that you could live your life and do what you'd want to be happy. You'd have food in the fridge, gas in your car, money to pay your bills, a roof over your head and a loving partner to share a bed with.
But why is it nobody wants this from me? I'm not saying this as a way of bribery, but just showing what I can bring to you in a relationship.
Sorry, completely random, hopeless rant.
Please don't reply with the generic "Oh you'll find someone" "You're too young to worry about love" "I wish I could, but *insert stupid reason here*" or any other of that crap. I want a discussion, your own tales of love and heartache.
But seriously I feel you bro, similar situation here, been that way for years lol.
Truth be told, I felt a lot like you a couple months ago. I felt sick, rather depressed too because I felt that people weren't worth shit and couldn't care until I met my partner. He and I just share those simple moments, and that's what I feel you should get at too. Don't worry too much if they like to go out to restaurants or like cars or whatever, because the best people you'll find are often the most simple, and appreciate the most out of life - just the same as Rye and I. And look, us two losers are at it for 6 months! I mean, hell, we even met through Twitter. Yeah, seriously. Freaking Twitter. :P
But don't feel hopeless. If you give up, then you'll become even more sad and wishful and that ain't good. Take the time to go out there and physically talk with people. And do not, I repeat, do NOT, limit yourself to this silly fandom. I cannot stand it when people are like, 'But...they have to be furry!" No, they don't. I don't even really come off as furry anymore, and my partner and I are just the same with that. We go out, we socialize, we have fun, make dinner, do all that kind of stuff, without the furry bit. It's just a hobby for us.
So go venture out. After all, I mean, c'mon, you're a sailor! Hahaha! Go explore. Say hi to someone you feel friendly with. Be adventurous. Smile, and look at yourself. You're a pretty wonderful guy and I don't doubt you for a second that something good will happen. I'm not going to say "Oh you'll find someone" because that shit is dumb, but go out there and take action! Hoooah! ...or whatever you say in the Navy!
How you and Rye are, thats how I want to be. Someone who makes me happy and wants to spend time with me, regardless of what is going on. I'm not going to give up, I'm just stalled at the moment. I've got no motivation to go out and seek someone, cause as soon as I open up to them, shit doesn't work out and I repeat the process over again, but now, further discouraged from attempting. And with the population out here being nothing but military, there's two things on their mind. Getting drunk, and getting laid (and you know from our previous conversation, my standpoint on this)
I'm not quite sure on where else to go, nor what to do. I'm not doubting that the so called "right person" will show up, it's just a matter of who and when. Quite simply, I'm tired of waiting. Ever since I found out I was gay in my Sophmore year of high school, that's all I've been doing is waiting. All I wanted was someone to share my feelings with, someone to take out and act like a normal couple.
So yeah...
Also, don't go wishing for a relationship that someone else has, because what you wish for might be entirely different. Sure, you might be stalled and stuck, but have faith and keep trying. I nearly gave up all hope and thought that people were all jerks the same that you described up until I stumbled upon Rye accidentally. It all depends on the situations you're given - if you find that nobody around you is likable or interesting, then go outside those boundaries. You don't have to restrict yourself to a certain area if you can't find anyone - I mean, I moved to Oklahoma from Pennsylvania because the person I love existed outside of my state. Yeah, I do realize too that it might be harder to venture out because you're in the military, but options are options man, and you can have a chance.
Don't focus too much right now. It seems you're becoming frustrated with this, but take it easy and things might turn out in your favor. Who knows where you'll end up in another year? Trust me, it'll be alright. If you would like to talk more, I have a Skype - you can note me however you'd like, dude. Just breathe and relax. :)
lol hey man I know how it feels, to want someone to hold and be with, spent 24 of the 26 year I've been alive alone. Not saying I was a pimp as a baby but around 13-14 i wanted a girlfriend, never got one, so I moved on.
The thing is, no matter how much you want someone, it's a different ball game entirely once you have someone. Sometimes, you silently beg (like I do occasionally) they'd just leave you alone.
It's a hilltop with snow on both sides. There's trees and rocks all the way down. You're the one in the sled, and only you can be the one to pick which way to go. That applies with a relationship. Sometimes, women and men (depending on which way you float, no pun intended) just are not interested in the same things you are. It sucks, believe me. I've had a LOT of interest and a LOT of women, but none showed any interest other than what was in my pocket, and no, not my dick. You just got to take the time to find someone right for you and work on gaining their trust, affection and love.
You'll find someone, it may not come as quickly as you wish, but one day, someone will sweep you off your feet and make you go all googly-eyed howling-at-the-moon crazy XD
Keep your head up man, keep fighting the good fight out there. Come home to us safe you hear?
Don't make me swim out there myself and drive my flightdeck boot up yo ass! XD
Love you man!
*Tanek*
See that's the thing man, it's a fucking struggle. I'm tired of struggling. I'm tired of not having anyone to connect with on THAT level. Hell, I dont even have any friends close enough who would cuddle with me. At least something like that makes me feel better.
And uhhh.... You could also just drive to Norfolk and meet me at the pier. I got that D today :/
And i know what you mean about the struggling. Everyone has a different mindset when it comes to mateship/relationship stuff. For me, once I realized I wasn't getting any sort of girlfriend, and all the ones (2) that I had before screwed with me for my money, I told myself to just give up, let love find me.
It did, and I'm glad i didn't waste away my virginity on some slut who was dicking around behind my back. You're a good man, you got a big heart. Someone will see that in you and your looks and your duty to your nation. You are a USN Sailor. Like I said, someone will find you. I spent so long searching but in the end, when I had given up someone found me. :P
*Tanek*
I find that when I make people feel at ease around me, that they can be themselves and feel okay talking about anything and everything about themselves, it's an attractive quality. There's a comfort level where they feel like they can talk about anything with me and they won't feel judged for it.
Just showing someone that I actually care about them. Not just saying it, but keeping in touch and asking how they are doing and if things are going okay. Then being an ear when they need someone to talk to.
It's just a part of who I am but those qualities seem to really attract people.
Personally, I think that those qualities I listed are also highly desirable in people and it's shown it's face numerous times for me. Quite honestly, unless I consider you a friend of mine, I dont care what you think of me. (I could start a whole shit storm right now just to prove it, but I'm not going to (and no, not with you)) If I know you, and talk to you, that doesn't mean we're friends. We're acquaintances. Friends are those who I talk to often, and try to better myself and my life by talking with them and choosing to haven them be a part of my life. Those opinions are those which hurt and affect me.
Kinda went on a ramble, back onto subject. Being confident, prideful and mature are qualities that people desire in themselves, thus they try to emulate it themselves by associating themselves with someone of that characteristic. That's why I believe I've got so many friends and acquaintances, because of that public image I show to everyone else.
So, back to your question. I know what I can offer in a relationship, but how do I make someone feel? It all depends on how they feel about themselves.
As things for me iron out in time, I will re-enter courting and dating. I know being single sucks. I know how you feel. You aren't alone in this. You never are. I'm always available whenever you need an ear. I miss chatting with you. I'm almost always on skype and you can always text me.
*hugs* Miss hanging with you bro!
BTW, was totally missing the old days when I was cruising around VA Beach last weekend. Don't have many car dorks to hang with anymore!
There was a time I had serious interest in you... when you said you had interest in me, but I was unsure of myself, and rightfully so. That interest faded quickly when I began seeing an egotistical jackass who treated me like second rate. Always had to make yourself seem so much bigger and better than me. Always asking my opinion, then shooting it down and paving over it with your own as "right". And you'd rub it in my face.
"I've got money, cars, friends, a fursuit," won't get you anywhere... at least not from my standpoint... from nice, caring, passionate, genuine people who would give up everything for that special person, like I like to consider myself? We have no interest in what you own, or how much money you have or make... that in itself proves my point... when searching for "the one", we look for the qualities aforementioned.
You stomped me and ruined it. You'd promise all sort of things to me. Visits, calls, selling your car... but it always ended in disappointment. Those promises were always empty, and I fell for it all... how stupid of me. I still remember how you said you were going to come to Furfright to hang with myself and the crowd here, but that was a big ass lie, then basically told me "Oh nvm -insert popular people here- are going to MFF so I'll be going there instead lol sorry", basically never hearing from you again.
So maybe you need to reanalyze yourself. You were a good friend... at one point... but that friend died a long time ago.
There's also no need to reply to this comment, as I won't end up seeing it anyway.