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A life lesson, and a self-realization..
12 years ago
Despite being a quote more or less from the movie "Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift", this saying does hold a lot of truth.
"We surround ourselves with those that define us as a person."
When we take friends, lovers or whatever else, we look for qualities we find the most worthwhile, attractive, or structurally sound. Typically those are qualities we have ourselves.
Integrity. Honesty. Loyalty. Strength. Willpower. Friendliness. Compassion. Loving and caring. Etc.
These people can literally make or break us, depending on what they do and how they act. Sometimes we surround ourselves with people that do us good, and sometimes they're not so good. Sometimes we think they're good and they're actually bad. It's all a matter, in the end, of reminding yourself that at the end of the day, you go to sleep and you have yourself there in the dark.
After living in an abusive relationship where I had almost no control, then coming out of it and having time to recover, I realized this truth. We surround ourselves with those that define us. I had to start surrounding myself with people that were good for me. Good for my mental, emotional and physical health. Unfortunately that also meant I realized some of the people I had surrounded myself with weren't good for me... and even recently when I thought some of the people I was surrounding myself with were good, they really weren't. Especially one in recent weeks that nearly tore me apart. Some of those I had around me helped me recover because the damage I took was so shitty and unnecessary, and saw the pain I was in. You know who you are, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Though I endured pain and stress trying to help someone be a better person and was shit on in the end, I learned a lesson. I took from that person what was bad, and I added that to the list of things I need to avoid putting myself near.
We take things from our experiences and we learn from it, that's how we become better people. Don't let yourself get surrounded by those that would use and abuse you, or turn you into something you're not. In the end.. you'll be looking at only yourself in the mirror and you may not like what is looking back at you.
Some people don't deserve what they have surrounded themselves with either... and sadly only those that were grouped up will suffer for it, not the one that did the grouping.
Just remember all that and you'll hopefully avoid some pain that you might have otherwise unknowingly subjected yourself to.. or realize something already in the now happening that's not good for you and either work it out or eliminate it.
Just some life experience from a wolf that has learned the hard way, especially in the last few weeks, and a chunk of my life years ago I'll never get back. At least I can share the lessons and help others. :)
Many hugs to you all, and I hope that my experiences on this topic may help some of you in your own lives. Blessed be to you all. I need to go sleep now. Tired wuff.
PS:
For those of you thinking "Well you unknowingly surrounded yourself with some pretty abusive people Dusk, you're not an abusive person now for it are you?"
No, and it couldn't be farther from the truth. I learned what not to be, actually. I'm a loving, affectionate person that only wishes to see others smile and be happy. What I had surrounded myself with was a lot of pain, heart ache and empty promises and I suffered for it after I found out what those people really were on the inside. I'm just glad I didn't become that which I despise. Even recent events could have turned me into a vindictive, hate-filled and angry animal bent on destroying the latest person that hurt me the most and has a record of hurting others.. but I haven't.
To be honest, this journal was starting out as a big neon sign saying "Avoid (insert name here), for they are a scumbag and here's why"... but after emptying some of the anger and frustration that was still built up, and a good 7+ paragraphs (it was long and detailed...), I read it over and shook my head. That wasn't me, so instead I turned it from a warning and graphically detailed book (it was long..) to a life lesson I could share with others and feel better about. No reason to boil my own guts in frustration when I can possibly help someone with what I've learned.
So.. am I an abusive person from being around abusive people? No. I better learned what not to be, in the end. I am me.. and that's all I can ever be, because if I'm not me, then who am I? My happiness comes from those around me being happy... and I want nothing more than those around me to be happy and smiling, and living a good life as much as they can. What's the point of living a life full of bitterness, pain and resentment?
Any posts flaming me will be deleted, so don't even bother please. I'm not posting this to attack anyone. I'm posting it as a lesson some could live better with knowing and others may benefit from.
"We surround ourselves with those that define us as a person."
When we take friends, lovers or whatever else, we look for qualities we find the most worthwhile, attractive, or structurally sound. Typically those are qualities we have ourselves.
Integrity. Honesty. Loyalty. Strength. Willpower. Friendliness. Compassion. Loving and caring. Etc.
These people can literally make or break us, depending on what they do and how they act. Sometimes we surround ourselves with people that do us good, and sometimes they're not so good. Sometimes we think they're good and they're actually bad. It's all a matter, in the end, of reminding yourself that at the end of the day, you go to sleep and you have yourself there in the dark.
After living in an abusive relationship where I had almost no control, then coming out of it and having time to recover, I realized this truth. We surround ourselves with those that define us. I had to start surrounding myself with people that were good for me. Good for my mental, emotional and physical health. Unfortunately that also meant I realized some of the people I had surrounded myself with weren't good for me... and even recently when I thought some of the people I was surrounding myself with were good, they really weren't. Especially one in recent weeks that nearly tore me apart. Some of those I had around me helped me recover because the damage I took was so shitty and unnecessary, and saw the pain I was in. You know who you are, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Though I endured pain and stress trying to help someone be a better person and was shit on in the end, I learned a lesson. I took from that person what was bad, and I added that to the list of things I need to avoid putting myself near.
We take things from our experiences and we learn from it, that's how we become better people. Don't let yourself get surrounded by those that would use and abuse you, or turn you into something you're not. In the end.. you'll be looking at only yourself in the mirror and you may not like what is looking back at you.
Some people don't deserve what they have surrounded themselves with either... and sadly only those that were grouped up will suffer for it, not the one that did the grouping.
Just remember all that and you'll hopefully avoid some pain that you might have otherwise unknowingly subjected yourself to.. or realize something already in the now happening that's not good for you and either work it out or eliminate it.
Just some life experience from a wolf that has learned the hard way, especially in the last few weeks, and a chunk of my life years ago I'll never get back. At least I can share the lessons and help others. :)
Many hugs to you all, and I hope that my experiences on this topic may help some of you in your own lives. Blessed be to you all. I need to go sleep now. Tired wuff.
PS:
For those of you thinking "Well you unknowingly surrounded yourself with some pretty abusive people Dusk, you're not an abusive person now for it are you?"
No, and it couldn't be farther from the truth. I learned what not to be, actually. I'm a loving, affectionate person that only wishes to see others smile and be happy. What I had surrounded myself with was a lot of pain, heart ache and empty promises and I suffered for it after I found out what those people really were on the inside. I'm just glad I didn't become that which I despise. Even recent events could have turned me into a vindictive, hate-filled and angry animal bent on destroying the latest person that hurt me the most and has a record of hurting others.. but I haven't.
To be honest, this journal was starting out as a big neon sign saying "Avoid (insert name here), for they are a scumbag and here's why"... but after emptying some of the anger and frustration that was still built up, and a good 7+ paragraphs (it was long and detailed...), I read it over and shook my head. That wasn't me, so instead I turned it from a warning and graphically detailed book (it was long..) to a life lesson I could share with others and feel better about. No reason to boil my own guts in frustration when I can possibly help someone with what I've learned.
So.. am I an abusive person from being around abusive people? No. I better learned what not to be, in the end. I am me.. and that's all I can ever be, because if I'm not me, then who am I? My happiness comes from those around me being happy... and I want nothing more than those around me to be happy and smiling, and living a good life as much as they can. What's the point of living a life full of bitterness, pain and resentment?
Any posts flaming me will be deleted, so don't even bother please. I'm not posting this to attack anyone. I'm posting it as a lesson some could live better with knowing and others may benefit from.
Sammythefirehedgehog
~sammythefirehedgehog
Wow :O I can never understand why some people get abusive on here
