lol

Have you been beaten down by mundane society for being different? Well welcome to the furry fandom, we are all different he...... errrr well maybe we used to be, now we are probably more judgmental than mundane society.

I say more because ontop of all the prejudices that are thrown at you in normal society, here in the fandom you get an extra prejudice of what species you might happen to be.

lol, that's an interesting way to look at it, but I don't think prejudices are additive like that. Plus there are a number of prejudices that furries tend to give less of a shit about. I'd say we're about even. But again, the only thing this guy has in common is that he's a furry. But he's still just a part of that mainstream judgemental group more, IMO.

*nods* I see that quite a bit more often lately. The judgmental/finicky person.

But, that is still better than the person who falls insanely in love after one IM chat/text message. That I get a LOT. >.<

Like, it's one thing to feel that way, I get having feelings that you aren't proud of. But damned if this guy didn't seem proud of these feelings.

I would absolutely disagree that this is better, since that's really more of a lonely thing that they can't help. Less desireably for most people, of course, but I'd rather be friends with the loves-instantly person than the bigot.

To a certain degree, I agree with you, but on the flip side, someone cant help what they're attracted to. If someone naturally doesn't find a trans* people romantically attractive, it doesnt make them a bigot. No more a bigot than a gay person who isn't attracted to a person of the opposite gender. I've dated several trans* people in the past (and am dating one now). For someone who finds only one sex/gender combination attrative (and they're born with this, remember!) Dating someone who exibits a different combination can be very difficult. And there's nothing wrong with that. Its not descrimination to not be attracted to someone.

Dating people with psychologial conditions can be very emotionally taxing. In some relationships, the line where you stop being a partner and become a surrogate parent becomes blurred. Having been there before, I can say with certainty I only want to date people I can engage on my level, not someone I have to coddle, watch my words, and walk on eggshells around, living in fear that they'll have a breakdown or outburst because they've been triggered again.

As far as the face and features thing... love is blind. If you love someone, you WILL find them physically attractive. But at the same time, building a relationship online, with hopes that it will magically work out when you meet in person is a gamble. If you've never seen the person in real life, chances are you know ONLY the good aspects of them, the sides they've chosen to show you. If they use drugs, smell bad, have terrible hygene, are rude to their parents, or pick pocket...you wont know until you meet them. Once again, I've done this several times, and I've only had a 50% sucess rate, and that seems better than average based on conversations with people who've done the same.

Oh yes, I agree.

But that's not what was said in either case. For instance, for overweight people, this individual did not say, "I'm just not attracted to overweight people," they said, "I don't sleep with them." And I am the one who affixed the label "trans*" to what they described as "women who are actually men."

And while psychological conditions can be taxing given the right thing, but this is someone throwing out any and every psychological condition with zero knowledge of how pervasive it is. He could be talking about mild OCD for all I know.

The face and features thing... quite honestly, I share a bit of that as well. I would overwhelmingly prefer to see people, because I think people's appearance does inform who they are (not in a bad way, just because your personalities and attributes come out in how you present yourself and how it shapes your body). But building a relationship online always comes with this caveat. Seeing their face does not tell you how much better you'll be with them in person. A picture of them is not going to tell you any of those attributes are drugs, smelling bad, etc., except possibly, possibly the hygiene thing.

I agree, there comes a certain point where other peoples standards are just so high. I mean, I agree with dude above me to a degree, too, obviously, but I know the sort of person you (Zeke) are talking about. We're not talking about someone who can't handle someone who is very emotionally taxing, but where if the woman isn't 100% perfect and beautiful they aren't good enough for them. Any tiny flaw is grounds for them being some (insert insult/degradation here).

You're attracted to what you're attracted to, and have a right to have someone who won't hurt you psychologically however accidentally they may, but there is definitely a line where it becomes more about the person's pickiness than any actual legitimate "point"... I figure they are their own worst enemies and shoot themselves in the feet constantly, so no big loss on the world.

Absolutely, exactly. This is not a case of "Oh gee, sorry, I literally can't get it up around people who are over a certain weight," which quite honestly is a totally legitimate approach. Physical attraction and sex is an important part of a relationship for most people, and that's not shallow at all! But yeah... this is totally different. This is all about him shaking his head and marking down someone a few points because of some attribute about them.

But yeah, as you said, if this guy is going to be a foreveralone because of his emotional immaturity, well, that's no skin off our noses. But it does make me feel bad for him at that point. Even if he finds that skinny, attractive, shallow woman of his dreams, what happens when she gets old and her looks, as everybody's, fade? He'll move on, I expect, so then what happens when his looks fade? What will he have to offer to get the only kind of woman that he has any interest in? Hopefully he's rich enough to get Anna Nicole Smiths, I guess.

I think some of the grossness of the attitude comes from the fact that the people with these ridiculous standards rarely live up to their own. Like, if you're going to expect a goddess you better have something godly on offer, or accept that your standards are so high that the people you want might not be interested in you.

Exactly, right? I mean, this person lives up to their own standards insofar as they are skinny, cis, and have not openly talked about any psychological conditions other than the requisite "feeling down lately" stuff, but I sincerely doubt his standards would change if he packed on a little weight, for instance, or started having more severe anxiety problems. Or maybe it would give him a taste of the other side, and he would change his standards, who knows.

Sounds like likely it's his attitude that's the issue, then. Is this dude a Nice Guy?

Well he actually just took that journal down along with a number of others, so I can only guess as I hadn't paid much attention to him otherwise, but it would certainly not surprise me.