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I hate my boyfriend's dumb gross friends (mentions of rape)
12 years ago
Playing DnD with my boyfriend and his friends. I was the only woman there and these dudes tend towards "edgy" humor. One decides to have his character come on to some random NPC woman. She maces him and he decides to have his charcter rip her clothes off and rape her. It ends up in a full on DnD battle with fight music and everything. Two of our party members versus this woman. I'm uncomfortable as fuck, but my boyfriend and I have argued in the past because he felt I didn't respect his friends, so I stay quiet.
I thought that was as bad as it would get, but as he describes how he's going to rip her clothes off, this friend asks what kind of shirt she's wearing: "Is it a higher neckline or low-cut like [mine]?" and my boyfriendrolls to see. I felt so fucking betrayed I had no idea what to say or how to articulate what I was feeling so without ruining the session so I still stayed quiet.
In the end he doesn't actually rape her because when his character declares to the woman that he is going to have sex with her, he rolled a natural 20, so she consented, and because it was a twenty, she was in to all the shit he said he would do to her. He managed to forget about this later in the session and referred to it as rape. I tried to forget about it too.
Later that night my boyfriend messages me to tell me what an awesome session that was. I reply that I would have enjoyed it more if his buddy hadn't compared the woman his character was going to rape to me, and he hadn't even realized it because it was only my shirt. Then he manages to make the whole fucking thing about him by texting me how upset it made him (I'm not sure what upset him exactly.). I text back the next day to make sure he's okay and he says he's fine and I should "try to be more rational"
"try to not be uncomfortable that my friend mentioned you, my girlfriend, while acting out a rape fantasy and that I did absolutely shit about it"
And I feel terrible because these friends have had their characters do worse things in previous DnD sessions that also made me uncomfortable and I never mentioned those and have probably blocked most of them out of my mind. I don't want to bring it up again because accusing his friends of misogyny will probably upset him again and if I break up now I'll just be that crazy overreacting ex.
My head hurts and I still have no fucking idea how to deal with this.
I thought that was as bad as it would get, but as he describes how he's going to rip her clothes off, this friend asks what kind of shirt she's wearing: "Is it a higher neckline or low-cut like [mine]?" and my boyfriendrolls to see. I felt so fucking betrayed I had no idea what to say or how to articulate what I was feeling so without ruining the session so I still stayed quiet.
In the end he doesn't actually rape her because when his character declares to the woman that he is going to have sex with her, he rolled a natural 20, so she consented, and because it was a twenty, she was in to all the shit he said he would do to her. He managed to forget about this later in the session and referred to it as rape. I tried to forget about it too.
Later that night my boyfriend messages me to tell me what an awesome session that was. I reply that I would have enjoyed it more if his buddy hadn't compared the woman his character was going to rape to me, and he hadn't even realized it because it was only my shirt. Then he manages to make the whole fucking thing about him by texting me how upset it made him (I'm not sure what upset him exactly.). I text back the next day to make sure he's okay and he says he's fine and I should "try to be more rational"
"try to not be uncomfortable that my friend mentioned you, my girlfriend, while acting out a rape fantasy and that I did absolutely shit about it"
And I feel terrible because these friends have had their characters do worse things in previous DnD sessions that also made me uncomfortable and I never mentioned those and have probably blocked most of them out of my mind. I don't want to bring it up again because accusing his friends of misogyny will probably upset him again and if I break up now I'll just be that crazy overreacting ex.
My head hurts and I still have no fucking idea how to deal with this.
