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Heart of the matter
12 years ago
It seems i only do an update almost every 4-6 months. so much has gone on since the last update..
Basic things.
Broke up with my long term partner. only to miss him more and more each day. (get a passport and i will find a way to bring you over for a holiday.....thats all he needs to do)
I got a job. a real one.. doing real work.
Following my dreams and loves i got to do 2 days per week at a local motorbike shop. as their 2nd Mechanic. i seem to be well suited and stuff for the job. hoping to go full time in the new year and get my MOT(inspection) Licence for Motorbikes in January..
see everything going really well.
Car running good. life turning into something good. what could possibly go wrong?
well in all this i was seeing a heart specialist. been a while since i had seen one and thought it best to let them catch up with stuff. 16 year break was a tad long for them. so i had blood tests, ECG's 24 and 48 hour Tapes, and i get this letter saying they found something they arnt sure of and i need to go for an MRi scan with a infusion to speed the heart up and some dye. never had that before. but i have had MRi scans in the past. so off i go on the 13th of sept to the London Heart hospital. took the train. walked from oxford circus to the hospital. 15mins it took. nice brisk walk. walking didnt bother me. even cycling down town didnt bother me. climbing a flight of stairs it was 2 steps at a time. i wasnt majorly unfit. i went in. got undressed, went into the room, got the infusion needle put in. climbed into the scanner and laided there for 45mins with the machine making all these fun sounds. then they tell me they are infusing the liquid. at that point it felt all hell breaking loose...
My heart rate started to go UP. its supposed to do this.. felt sick. yup thats normal. headache and head about to explode.. yup thats fine..... Im going to throw up.... they rush in and pull me out. sat up for a few secs. cleared my head. felt better. they stuck me back in. gave me more fluid. i could hear chatter int he background. are you ok? they asked. NO... it HURTS. i screamed back. few more secs. just try and remain calm. how the hell older people with heart problems cope i will not know.
I cant feel my heart rate any more at this point. they end the session and they rush in. mob handed with a crash paddle kit pulled in behind them. drag me out and i was suddenly fine. as soon as i sat up i felt much better. apart from not being able to feel my arms. or legs but that changed after a few moments. the look on their faces was kinda of slightly worried look. but i was sat up talking so it cant be that bad. apparently when they do the test it pushed the heart up to 160bpm thats normal.. mine peaked at 266bpm. which is a tad too fast. anyway they let me get dressed. made sure i was ok and off i went.
the walk back to the station took ages. i couldnt walk. not like i did on the way up. it was so painful. so tiring. i got some energy drinks and downed them. felt better and carried on.. just the after effects i told myself.
got home after a long train journey. felt really tired. had some food, went to bed. had shooting pains all night.
Tuesday i spent most of the day feeling like i had just run a marathon. Tuesday night i had what felt like a heart attack. pins and needles int he left arm. shooting pains across the chest, tightness in the chest, felt sick, felt really hot. couldnt move, couldnt scream. then fell asleep. woke up and called the Dr for an emergency appointment. but it was now Wednesday and i had work, so off i went. appointment was at 11:10am. so had a couple of hours at work. boss kept telling me to relax and take it easy as i kept going white. i drove to the Dr and they did an ECG. i got told he was calling an Ambulance and i needed to get home with the car and it would pick me up from there. and not to panic but it looked like i was having "Heart Failure".... right not to panic. thanks Doc. that really helped my karma.. broke every law on speed to get home.. it wasnt that far but i know i broke lots of speed limits. got home, had enough time to pack a few essential bits into a bag and the Ambulance turned up. walked into the back sat down did a few checks. read the letter and suddenly im strapped in. wired up to god knows what and were racing at full speed to the hospital. full blue lights and everything.. (the letter explained all and was enough to make them go from being really friendly to Oh shit he is about to die mode.)
well to save this being an epic story lets jump a bit. i had multiple tests. got admitted to the Cardiac Care Unit under 24/7 montior watch. given loads of medication and nice painkillers. and they decided the best option was Heart Surgary. well more it was an implantation of a ICD into my chest to keep me alive. seems my heart keeps dropping into VT (ventricular tachycardia) and needs shocking out of it a lot.. and now and then i have had bits of VF which is normally fatal. both of which the ICD shocks you to get you back. VT its a light shock. VF its a big horse kick shock. My heart has problems. its scarred on the left ventricle. its also enlarged on that side. i have a wiring fault. right bundle branch block or something. and possibly a torn hole in the heart between two sides. they arnt too sure on that one. but its healed with rest ...
i had the ICD put in under Local anesthetic. funny thing about all this.. i was the youngest by 40 years in the ward. i got called "the baby in the corner" by a lot of the nurses.. something to do with the amount of sweetys and the tiger plushy my mum got me. and a few other things.. cub things.. when i went down the the operation they even used a teddy bear blanket to keep me warm through the op. a powered heated thing.. i wanted to keep it.. i also had an angiogram at the same time as the ICD fitted. turns out the arteries are all fine.. its weird having something this big implanted into you whilst your awake, its taking time getting used to it being there. its a lot smaller than my grandfathers one though. costs a fair bit more though. £32,000. which is a lot...
i got let out of the hospital the following day with a huge amount of drugs im going to have to take for a long time. im stuck on Betablockers to control the pulserate of my heart from now on. and the ICD is in there watching my heart and should it do anything it doesnt like im going to get a Shock..
a lot of my friends and their kids now refer to me as "Iron Tiggs". so i have had a thought. some artwork im going to have to get done. me in Tigercub form playing at being Ironman, standing around like i always do but with a stick on center bit and holding a torch tied to my wrist as the laser bit.
i was tempted to have the Ironman thing tattooed on my chest, but i have to stay clear of that for a while and magnetic things near me is a bad idea.
I have got back to driving prob faster than they would of liked. 4-6 weeks they said.. cant do that it was driving me nuts not being able to drive.. just almost 2 weeks i lasted.. it feels fine. scar is fully healed. no stitches as it was glued. its healed very fast. although im a lot younger than 99% of the patients who have it normally in the UK.
im still getting "tremors" from my heart. they still wipe me out too. so im still on the road to recovery. going to be a few more weeks before i can get back to work and even then i have to build myself back into things.
i havent mentioned much about my car in all this.. cause if i do this would be a mammoth essay. so will explain in another post in a bit. its going very funky...
Basic things.
Broke up with my long term partner. only to miss him more and more each day. (get a passport and i will find a way to bring you over for a holiday.....thats all he needs to do)
I got a job. a real one.. doing real work.
Following my dreams and loves i got to do 2 days per week at a local motorbike shop. as their 2nd Mechanic. i seem to be well suited and stuff for the job. hoping to go full time in the new year and get my MOT(inspection) Licence for Motorbikes in January..
see everything going really well.
Car running good. life turning into something good. what could possibly go wrong?
well in all this i was seeing a heart specialist. been a while since i had seen one and thought it best to let them catch up with stuff. 16 year break was a tad long for them. so i had blood tests, ECG's 24 and 48 hour Tapes, and i get this letter saying they found something they arnt sure of and i need to go for an MRi scan with a infusion to speed the heart up and some dye. never had that before. but i have had MRi scans in the past. so off i go on the 13th of sept to the London Heart hospital. took the train. walked from oxford circus to the hospital. 15mins it took. nice brisk walk. walking didnt bother me. even cycling down town didnt bother me. climbing a flight of stairs it was 2 steps at a time. i wasnt majorly unfit. i went in. got undressed, went into the room, got the infusion needle put in. climbed into the scanner and laided there for 45mins with the machine making all these fun sounds. then they tell me they are infusing the liquid. at that point it felt all hell breaking loose...
My heart rate started to go UP. its supposed to do this.. felt sick. yup thats normal. headache and head about to explode.. yup thats fine..... Im going to throw up.... they rush in and pull me out. sat up for a few secs. cleared my head. felt better. they stuck me back in. gave me more fluid. i could hear chatter int he background. are you ok? they asked. NO... it HURTS. i screamed back. few more secs. just try and remain calm. how the hell older people with heart problems cope i will not know.
I cant feel my heart rate any more at this point. they end the session and they rush in. mob handed with a crash paddle kit pulled in behind them. drag me out and i was suddenly fine. as soon as i sat up i felt much better. apart from not being able to feel my arms. or legs but that changed after a few moments. the look on their faces was kinda of slightly worried look. but i was sat up talking so it cant be that bad. apparently when they do the test it pushed the heart up to 160bpm thats normal.. mine peaked at 266bpm. which is a tad too fast. anyway they let me get dressed. made sure i was ok and off i went.
the walk back to the station took ages. i couldnt walk. not like i did on the way up. it was so painful. so tiring. i got some energy drinks and downed them. felt better and carried on.. just the after effects i told myself.
got home after a long train journey. felt really tired. had some food, went to bed. had shooting pains all night.
Tuesday i spent most of the day feeling like i had just run a marathon. Tuesday night i had what felt like a heart attack. pins and needles int he left arm. shooting pains across the chest, tightness in the chest, felt sick, felt really hot. couldnt move, couldnt scream. then fell asleep. woke up and called the Dr for an emergency appointment. but it was now Wednesday and i had work, so off i went. appointment was at 11:10am. so had a couple of hours at work. boss kept telling me to relax and take it easy as i kept going white. i drove to the Dr and they did an ECG. i got told he was calling an Ambulance and i needed to get home with the car and it would pick me up from there. and not to panic but it looked like i was having "Heart Failure".... right not to panic. thanks Doc. that really helped my karma.. broke every law on speed to get home.. it wasnt that far but i know i broke lots of speed limits. got home, had enough time to pack a few essential bits into a bag and the Ambulance turned up. walked into the back sat down did a few checks. read the letter and suddenly im strapped in. wired up to god knows what and were racing at full speed to the hospital. full blue lights and everything.. (the letter explained all and was enough to make them go from being really friendly to Oh shit he is about to die mode.)
well to save this being an epic story lets jump a bit. i had multiple tests. got admitted to the Cardiac Care Unit under 24/7 montior watch. given loads of medication and nice painkillers. and they decided the best option was Heart Surgary. well more it was an implantation of a ICD into my chest to keep me alive. seems my heart keeps dropping into VT (ventricular tachycardia) and needs shocking out of it a lot.. and now and then i have had bits of VF which is normally fatal. both of which the ICD shocks you to get you back. VT its a light shock. VF its a big horse kick shock. My heart has problems. its scarred on the left ventricle. its also enlarged on that side. i have a wiring fault. right bundle branch block or something. and possibly a torn hole in the heart between two sides. they arnt too sure on that one. but its healed with rest ...
i had the ICD put in under Local anesthetic. funny thing about all this.. i was the youngest by 40 years in the ward. i got called "the baby in the corner" by a lot of the nurses.. something to do with the amount of sweetys and the tiger plushy my mum got me. and a few other things.. cub things.. when i went down the the operation they even used a teddy bear blanket to keep me warm through the op. a powered heated thing.. i wanted to keep it.. i also had an angiogram at the same time as the ICD fitted. turns out the arteries are all fine.. its weird having something this big implanted into you whilst your awake, its taking time getting used to it being there. its a lot smaller than my grandfathers one though. costs a fair bit more though. £32,000. which is a lot...
i got let out of the hospital the following day with a huge amount of drugs im going to have to take for a long time. im stuck on Betablockers to control the pulserate of my heart from now on. and the ICD is in there watching my heart and should it do anything it doesnt like im going to get a Shock..
a lot of my friends and their kids now refer to me as "Iron Tiggs". so i have had a thought. some artwork im going to have to get done. me in Tigercub form playing at being Ironman, standing around like i always do but with a stick on center bit and holding a torch tied to my wrist as the laser bit.
i was tempted to have the Ironman thing tattooed on my chest, but i have to stay clear of that for a while and magnetic things near me is a bad idea.
I have got back to driving prob faster than they would of liked. 4-6 weeks they said.. cant do that it was driving me nuts not being able to drive.. just almost 2 weeks i lasted.. it feels fine. scar is fully healed. no stitches as it was glued. its healed very fast. although im a lot younger than 99% of the patients who have it normally in the UK.
im still getting "tremors" from my heart. they still wipe me out too. so im still on the road to recovery. going to be a few more weeks before i can get back to work and even then i have to build myself back into things.
i havent mentioned much about my car in all this.. cause if i do this would be a mammoth essay. so will explain in another post in a bit. its going very funky...
