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Social anxiety
12 years ago
So I'm pretty sure I've been dealing with some form of social anxiety for awhile now so to my friends I am sorry. I do want to see you guys but it's just not as easy as it seems. I make plans but then I panic and cancel out as the date gets closer. I didn't use to be like this. I dunno whats wrong with me. Even now I'm in tears just thinking about the plans I had tonight. I've already cancelled them. I really didn't think I would this time. I feel like such a flake and I know people will eventually just stop asking me to do anything, I wouldn't be able to blame them either. It's my own fault.
I feel so very lost. I dunno what I'm doing anymore. I hide. From friends, from family. I just have a hard time facing people. I feel so un-important. I know my friends like me and I always try to put on a brave face for them but it's just getting harder n harder to act normal, like nothings up. No one needs to see an emotional wohofubuchip that can't keep his shit together. So I act like nothings wrong. Well I try to. The mask slips though.
I feel broken and tired. *sniffs* I am sorry for who I've become.
I feel so very lost. I dunno what I'm doing anymore. I hide. From friends, from family. I just have a hard time facing people. I feel so un-important. I know my friends like me and I always try to put on a brave face for them but it's just getting harder n harder to act normal, like nothings up. No one needs to see an emotional wohofubuchip that can't keep his shit together. So I act like nothings wrong. Well I try to. The mask slips though.
I feel broken and tired. *sniffs* I am sorry for who I've become.
Sending you lots of love and warm affection!
Hawk
you know Im here for ya.
If you feel its getting that bad, maybe I would suggest seeing a professional that could help you, like a psychiatrist. It's a good way to get feelings out and gain prospectives or insight on things that you might not of thought of or aware of.
I would love to see you again and hang out like old times. Miss you lots *slurps and squeezes*
Something to try - if your friends are receptive - is to arrange for quick, short social events. Maybe just meet for coffee or something. That works for me, and if I can do it enough, I start to build up a tolerance for longer things.
Are you more comfortable if people come to you, or if you go to them? If one is easier, use that as a basis for starting out.
Don't pressure yourself. Remember that when you go somewhere, you'll get to go back home soon.
I hope you're able to work through this into a more normal life. :3