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Why does exercise have to suck?
12 years ago
General
I'm not in shape. I got a little bit closer this summer, due to hefting fruit boxes for three months, but still not enough to really be "In Shape". I did it for the money, which I desperately need. I hated almost every moment of it. Even the bike rides home, which were often the high points of the day were not that enjoyable, just more so than sitting at home, making smalltalk with my parents at night, and staring at boxes of fruit during the day.
I've tried the gym thing a couple of times. Having free use of the University gym makes it a little easier on the pocketbook. I hate it more. The smell, the hassle, the boredom. Even if I bring music, or re-runs of TV shows to watch while I jog/bike/whatever, my mind just can't handle it. I know I need to keep it up, but I just can't bring myself to do anything. Even just doing push/sit ups in my room is mind-numbing.
Everyone keeps saying "hey, you just need to find an activity that works for you!" like they think I haven't tried that. Remember that kid in high school who was always playing the outfield in Phys-Ed baseball? That was me, just so I wouldn't have to play sports. My kind isn't welcome at sporting events, even at the "hey, let's just go kick a ball around the park" variety. I've been around when they try to convince me otherwise, but you can always see the look of resentment in their eyes when they have to tone down their game so I can even remotely keep up.
I've even tried weird things to try and get active. I can see that I might be able to enjoy airsoft, but the cost would ruin me, even if I could tolerate the attitudes of the people who masturbate onto guns. I'm at the end of my tether. I don't know what to do about this. the same people that try to get me to find something I like also say things like "you just gotta buckle down and do it", proving that they have no idea how my mind works. They might be able to shut their thoughts down for an hour at a time, but I can't. I'm always thinking, and always have to be doing something to occupy myself. Those that know me well know how I get when I'm not keeping my mind from spinning its tires.
I don't even know where I'm going with this journal. I just need to get it out, even though I know nobody reads FA journals unless they say "free art" or "livestreamingg, come visit". I've put words to "page", and that's the best I can do
I've tried the gym thing a couple of times. Having free use of the University gym makes it a little easier on the pocketbook. I hate it more. The smell, the hassle, the boredom. Even if I bring music, or re-runs of TV shows to watch while I jog/bike/whatever, my mind just can't handle it. I know I need to keep it up, but I just can't bring myself to do anything. Even just doing push/sit ups in my room is mind-numbing.
Everyone keeps saying "hey, you just need to find an activity that works for you!" like they think I haven't tried that. Remember that kid in high school who was always playing the outfield in Phys-Ed baseball? That was me, just so I wouldn't have to play sports. My kind isn't welcome at sporting events, even at the "hey, let's just go kick a ball around the park" variety. I've been around when they try to convince me otherwise, but you can always see the look of resentment in their eyes when they have to tone down their game so I can even remotely keep up.
I've even tried weird things to try and get active. I can see that I might be able to enjoy airsoft, but the cost would ruin me, even if I could tolerate the attitudes of the people who masturbate onto guns. I'm at the end of my tether. I don't know what to do about this. the same people that try to get me to find something I like also say things like "you just gotta buckle down and do it", proving that they have no idea how my mind works. They might be able to shut their thoughts down for an hour at a time, but I can't. I'm always thinking, and always have to be doing something to occupy myself. Those that know me well know how I get when I'm not keeping my mind from spinning its tires.
I don't even know where I'm going with this journal. I just need to get it out, even though I know nobody reads FA journals unless they say "free art" or "livestreamingg, come visit". I've put words to "page", and that's the best I can do
You could try a form of conditioning, do some form of exercise that you can do regularly and dislike the least, and then provide yourself with a reward afterwards. If you can keep the schedule consistent, it should work in theory to make the activity less unbearable.
If all else fails, you could try simply distracting yourself. Download some great audiobooks and listen while you exercise, or get a portable DVD player (they're cheap now) and watch movies / TV while you're on the elliptical or treadmill.
I don't claim it would work for you, but if you're trying things, find someone whom you can get along with, make sure all electronics are put away, and do some talking and an exercise that doesn't inhibit it. I suggest having a goal in mind. Walking a trail works well because you're captive audiences for each other with no-one around to distract you, and there's a clear goal. Get to the end of the trail, then walk back. I'd advise keeping that goal though. If you turn back whenever you feel like, it's too easy to cut your session short.
I haven't had company for that lately though, so I tried it with an audiobook. It didn't work too well because I forgot I was walking and went way too slow. I ended with sore feat and not even winded.
Well, let me know if you have any luck. I miss chatting, old friend.