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Not quite writer's block?
8 years ago
I don't know if this qualifies as writer's block, but it's something that's plagued me for years. Wondering if any other authors out there suffer from the same thing.
I have two folders full of old projects; one physical that I haven't touched in a decade, one digital that's almost as old. Both are absolutely overflowing with short concepts and snippets of larger works that I've started, and abandoned. It's not that I don't have ideas, or that I don't know where to go with the ideas. It's just overwhelming. I sit, and the weight of the work squeezes me. I can't work on the project, nothing seems right, or good enough. I'm intimidated by my own ideas; they're all so big that the second I sit down, they sit there like a monolith; something I can appreciate, say is super cool, and wish that I could read about it, but not something that I could ever actually create.
Even small stupid stuff has started doing this. My friends pseudo-comissioned me (I'm not getting paid, but they all want it) to write something called "friend-shipping". I write silly little short stories about them hooking up and making out in horribly exaggerated and unlikely ways. Even something like that is too much for me. Even though nobody has seen most of it, I can feel dozens of eyes judging my work.
I used to think I was pretty alright at writing, but this writer's . . . phobia (?can't think of a better name?) is ruining me. I was unceremoniously ejected from another project (extreme sore spot for me, though I only partially blame the project manager) because of the same issue; I knew exactly where to go with the work, but whenever I sat down, I floundered.
Stream-of-consiousness writing doesn't seem to help either; it all either comes out as useless trash, or ends up being yet another writing prompt idea that I tremble at approaching more seriously. I really want to get back to my old self (jesus, it's been almost a decade), but I don't know how?
I have two folders full of old projects; one physical that I haven't touched in a decade, one digital that's almost as old. Both are absolutely overflowing with short concepts and snippets of larger works that I've started, and abandoned. It's not that I don't have ideas, or that I don't know where to go with the ideas. It's just overwhelming. I sit, and the weight of the work squeezes me. I can't work on the project, nothing seems right, or good enough. I'm intimidated by my own ideas; they're all so big that the second I sit down, they sit there like a monolith; something I can appreciate, say is super cool, and wish that I could read about it, but not something that I could ever actually create.
Even small stupid stuff has started doing this. My friends pseudo-comissioned me (I'm not getting paid, but they all want it) to write something called "friend-shipping". I write silly little short stories about them hooking up and making out in horribly exaggerated and unlikely ways. Even something like that is too much for me. Even though nobody has seen most of it, I can feel dozens of eyes judging my work.
I used to think I was pretty alright at writing, but this writer's . . . phobia (?can't think of a better name?) is ruining me. I was unceremoniously ejected from another project (extreme sore spot for me, though I only partially blame the project manager) because of the same issue; I knew exactly where to go with the work, but whenever I sat down, I floundered.
Stream-of-consiousness writing doesn't seem to help either; it all either comes out as useless trash, or ends up being yet another writing prompt idea that I tremble at approaching more seriously. I really want to get back to my old self (jesus, it's been almost a decade), but I don't know how?
