I always find this difficult to do, worst still I dislike having to do it in the first place, but after much delegation and contemplating, I'm left with little choice.
I envy everyone around me who has a significant other, mate or otherwise close companion they can be with in a loving relationship.

There, I said it, now let me explain it.
I look around the fandom, through cons and on this gallery webpage and see so many people in couples, mated or otherwise and I can't help but feel at a loss for myself. I have lived 25 years and not once have I met the perfect match for me.
Don't get me wrong, I've made a lot of friends, I've made some wonderful acquaintances, and most of all I've met some awesome companions who I can call family, but not one I can call my 'true' love. At a time there were, I did love someone and I gave them so much, but I had been left by them, losing communication on both parts and ceasing anything else. Another time one I thought I loved actually cared for another and I was abandoned. Through my life since I was 13, I've been left by many for others and those I have tried to peruse have never bothered a second glance to me. I even blame myself for missing the chances I was given to get close to people i really held emotional feelings for and wonder why I was so weak and why I didn't express myself at that point at time. I don't blame them for anything, they live happy lives and I'm glad for them, it is myself I am mad at for failing to take the hints and jump at the chances.

Perhaps its odd, for someone like me to say this, well I guess I can blame the wedding I had been attending over the weekend for my eldest Cousin's wedding, and during the whole time I was wondering where I would be when I'm his age (29, pretty young tbh for marriage, but a good age none-the-less). It got me thinking that I've never once made much progress with my own love-life, and no matter the people I meet, I never really find someone available, or a person who can be someone I can say "I love you." with more merit than anyone I'd have said it to. This isn't to say I don't love the friends I cherish dear;  mikemurdock is one of the few friends I hold close to my heart as both a brother and as my close companion; he's been there for me and even to this day he is still there for me, but that is all I can see him as, a brother, a close friend, and someone I'd most definitely do my best to help out.
Sexually? We've tried, but I feel I cannot do it, not with a person I hold more as family than anything else (Rping aside mind you, we still have our fun flings.)

That being said, I've asked for guidance, many say "put yourself out" or "join those online dating sites." which I have, but also have held little success for. Sometimes I even wonder if I'm destined to be alone, or that if I shall ever find someone to 'complete' me. Perhaps I don't know, but its not like I'm trying, even a little bit, to meet someone; I just have terrible luck and terrible 'pick-up' skills. I know that many good friends of mine have told me I will find someone, but can I really do that with the luck I've had? Even just wanting to talk to girls (and guys) i find myself at a total loss and even more so when its someone I find cute or attractive and want to get to know.

So I say this, to all you out in the fandom, what can I do, where should I look, and what the hell do people mean y "putting yourself out there"? Because I'm going to be honest, it feels that my whole life keeps wanting me not to be with someone, but I can't accept that I am unable to find the right person for me.