Hey Everybody

Good and bad tidings, all wrapped into one. I need you guy's help..

So things have been moving along surprisingly fast. The IND (immigration service) took only one month to make their decision that Ellysa and the little one will get their residence permits, instead of three months that is normal in the Netherlands. Apparently the local IND office doesn't have a backlog like most of the Netherlands. So that is very good news! As soon as I knew, I booked the tickets, so she could come here in 3 weeks' time. Of those 3 weeks, today only one week is left. She flies, 29th of October.

Ellysa's parents, however, wanted them to stay till Chinese New Year, end of January. Now I never intended to give them that, given the way Ellysa suffers over there, but until 2 weeks ago, everybody - including me - thought their residence permit would come no sooner than December. So Ellysa's parents were angry that I suddenly was planning to book tickets to get them home, and out of there, in only 3 weeks. Well I (or rather Ellysa in my name) bought some gifts, to show that I did understand that it was all very sudden an that they would be shocked. Some cloth Ellysa's mother wanted to make clothes, and some picture frames with pictures of Ellysa and the little on in them. It worked and, albeit reluctantly, they accepted their early departure date. (End of January they thought... That's 3 more months! They crazy??)

So that is all the good news. Now the bad stuff. Fair warning, It's pretty heavy. Still, I would be thankful to anyone who would read it anyway.

In the mean time, already starting the moment Ellysa was back in Indonesia, her emotional state has been deteriorating. Fast. She erected an emotional wall around herself, trying not to feel... even blocking her feeling of love for me and her little one. I suppose she needs that wall, to fend off the emotional blows she receives from her family (mostly form her mother). But it doesn't take a psychiatrist to realize that that cannot be healthy. She is now doubting herself, doubting whether I made the right decision for myself to marry her or not, thinking she isn't good enough....

I am at my wit's end. I keep reminding her at every opportunity that she IS a good person, that she can hold it till then, that she should not listen to her mother, that is it only a few more days and it will all be better when she is here... But I don't seem to reach her anymore. Half the time she is not online, because of her mother is angry once again, so she doesn't dare. The day before yesterday, it was because Ellysa forgot to close the thermos can. I swear, if I didn't know better I'd think Ellysa's mother is trying deliberately to break her before she has the chance to fly here. But the truth seems to be that she simply has no sense of empathy for Ellysa. She really doesn't see her pain.

Every day I pray and meditate. But... Ellysa is doubting that she will make it. And that is scary, because, she has been there before. She knows what it takes to push her over the edge. So when she says that.... And there is nothing I can do.

And there is nothing you guys can do either... except pray for her safety and their arriving home with me... So I want to ask you....

Please pray for her.