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It just doesn't seem real....
12 years ago
Some REALLY awesome artists and good friends
It still hasn't really hit me that on October 12th my big sister was murdered... Shot in the head by her would-be ex husband. She had a restraining order, she moved out, she was moving on with life and the divorce was almost final.... apparently Josh couldn't handle that and decided to break into her apartment and shoot her in the head in front of my two nieces (ages 2 and 5) and taking the youngest with him. I was at the hospital with my sister almost all day as she lay in bed on life support. I was the first person, along with my dad that the doctor told she had passed, the bullet tore apart her brain (it was a hallow point), I signed the release to let her be an oregon doner... but it still isn't real to me.... I packed up her apartment, I saw all the blood... but it still doesn't feel real to me.... I feel numb, I feel broken, but I feel like I need to be strong. I've taken on everything so my parents can focus on what they need to in order to get through this. In the process of dealing with everythin, I've been approached to be the spokes person for domestic violence, to give my sister a voice and to prevent this from happening to others, to bring domestic violence into the light and bring awareness... I like that its keeping me busy... but I just want it to feel real....
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I have the best husband ever, love you tiger!! 
I hope you stay strong and that soon, in your own time, you can feel less pain.
If you need anything, even if its just a ear to listen, let me know.
I'm going to a hearing for Josh tomorrow, he has a long list of charges after this.
*gives you a dragony hug*
Things like this do feel unreal. No one expects to go through something like this. And no one deserves to. <:(
May the Lord have mercy on this very disturbed person. If it's one thing he hates is the shedding of innocent blood. <:.( May the Lord bring justice to you and yours.
I for one will keep you and your family in my prayers. <:.)
*hugs you tight*
If you ever need to talk, please feel free to Note me.
I wish I could say more, but I'm bad at things like this.
It was, I'm sure, a similar feeling to what you're experiencing; just going on with my daily life knowing that I'd never see him again, but that knowledge just not affecting me the way I knew it should. I wish I could say I knew what changed things, but I was in one of my hangout bars when it just crashed on me and they had to get a friend of mine to pull me out of the corner I'd collapsed into and help me home.
I hope there is someday an answer for what happened to your sister, it's terrible to think that such things happen, and I hope that you can find a role in bringing it about so you can have some closure.
I have just gone through several more tough losses and all I can say is hold the ones close to you closer, sorry Smurfy you're a sister and will pray for you if that counts for anything.
hugs, coyot.