So, I had a hard conversation a week ago with a friend of mine who hasn't spoken to me in a while. I don't wanna go into TOO much detail because I want to keep them anonymous. But lets just say they explained why they had not spoke to me that whole time.

So, about a year or so ago, I had some REALLY hard times. I think alot of you who know me remember what happened. My job got REALLY REALLY bad on the subject of stress. It was the one year period where I was a lead. I climbed the ladder at my job, and it ended up being a mistake. Very short ladder too. Not one worth climbing. All I got out of that year was stress and I took it out on everyone I knew. My SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder) made it worse by fueling my paranoia and anger. Dark times.

I was mean, rude, upset, mad at life and my job. It was right around when I decided to make my CAPSLOCKCOYOTE twitter vent account because people were complaining I was too negative on my main account. Fair enough. It helped too. After things calmed down last year, I tried my best to explain my negative behavior on twitter, and most people who responded seemed to understand, so I felt like it was all good.

I guessed wrong. This friend of mine explained to me that many people have alienated themselves from me due to that bad year I had, including them. I guess that was my falt too for not really communicating what was happening to me to them, as well as not properly apologizing. Well, I'm trying to make restitution now. Since I have no idea who else feels the same way, all I can do is write this journal and hope it is received well with those who feel the same way my friend did.

I am very VERY sorry for my behavior for those many months in 2012. I really feel alot better now and 2013 so far has been alot better. I may have come across the wrong way, causing alot of you to make negative judgements of my character, and spreading that to others who don't know me well enough to know better. Please trust me, I am a good person. I'm far from perfect, that's for damn sure, but I at least feel I am a good human being. I'm so sorry for how poorly I acted last year, and please do take the time to note or DM me on Twitter if you want to talk about it or would like a more personal apology. I will not be mad or anything if you guys EVER want talk to me about ANY aspect of my behavior.

Please be open with me and tell me if you have a problem. True friends do that. They work out problems and don't bottle them up and hold it against others. I'm very happy my friend finally came to me last week to tell me these issues. It was hard to hear, but it ended up clearing the air. We're now slowly starting to talk again, despite things being a little awkward.

So again, if you feel the same as my friend did, please come forward. I wanna heal wounds and move forward with my friendships. THanks guys! And again, I am very sorry. :(