I've been going into a rather steep depression myself, and found myself rereading this.


http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.c.....ssion.html?m=1

Although I alternate between medication induced mania and awful soul hollowing depression.

How understandable!

I'm fortunate enough to have an anchor point to keep me from sinking past a certain point. Someone who loves me despite everything that's wrong with me (and it's a LOOOOONG list!). He's the rock I cling to at the lowest points.

But successfully hanging on isn't exactly winning, so I keep fighting. And sadly, I can't afford things like counseling, so meds are out.

Oh they aren't antidepressants, but they do have euphoria as a side effect. I had therapy once with very very mixed results, it got rid of my pyromania but wasn't given any other stress relieving outlets, as well as other things that'd make this story too long.

Although I'd never simply tell someone to "Just get therapy" it's something rude to assume that everyone has access to it.

It's good that you have an anchor, a raison d'être. Hopefully it hasn't gotten to where you loathe the person for keeping you here, it's good to see love not taken for granted.

Aaah, I see.

And yes, thank you for understanding! It seems like any time I look around online for advice on dealing with it, that's all anybody says. Like the average barely-above-minimum-wage schmuck like myself can afford that sort of thing.

And I could never loathe him. He's the only thing that's kept me going in my darkest hours. Despite the depression, I am a hopeless romantic, and his arms around me just make everything bad go away, if only for a moment...