This Friday I went to see the Legend of Zelda Symphony Orchestra at Madison Square Garden and boy was it one of the best experiences I have ever had. I took my dad and my sister  midnightblue and the amount of times we squealed and giggled was insane. The instruments, the cosplayers, the memories all of these things were just flashing before me and before long the music had begun and I could not have felt any better being in there and seeing and hearing it all. Having listened to the beauty that is the Legend of Zelda Symphony Orchestra I have begun playing the Wind Waker HD for Wii-u with hopes to complete the game and enjoy its story and then I shall get Majora's Mask and complete that as well, being there has sparked this motivation in me to play Legend of Zelda and really feel like I am part of that journey.


Aside from that, I have been in the midst of a search for a significant other for quite some time now to no avail of course. And I get the same thing from everyone "you'll find someone", "give it time", all that poopy poop and while I get the truth in those words, I hate to think that I have to wait years when I am at a point where I really want to be with someone. To be honest all I really want is someone to cuddle with, have conversations, who's nerdy and it into more than just playing games or being inside all day. Walking or taking little road trips, or movies are fun too you know. Sex is not that important to me, sure having some moments of sexual contact would be nice but it's really not that hard to get someone to have sex with you compared to how hard it is for someone to be nurturing in such a way that is intimate and meaningful. I am just throwing this out there because it really is something that has been on my mind and bothering me, I have been trying, I have been putting myself out there but no one seems to want to bite the hook and even when I lay back and "let it happen" the catches just don't come along. I am not desperate for a relationship but I am at a point where it would really just help and it would really be nice.


The verdict I have come too on that is just human nature being human nature. Most of the times when I ask someone out the issue is this self-perceived idea of "worth". Hell I have had someone tell me straight up "you can do better" when I asked them out and it's this idea that really depresses me. I get that I am in a lot of programs, I do a lot of things, I have a "great" personality, but it seems the more and more I do these kinds of things and the more I put myself out there, the smaller the pool becomes. So many people having this fear of "inferiority" and well I don't see myself as superior, I try to treat people as equally as possible but I want to say it's the fear of "success" in play but then everyone is different. I don't want people to think so much on the things I do and the talents I have more of I want them to see what I can contribute to them as a partner and what they can give to me and well most of the time they feel like they can give nothing and that is so not true. It is just depressing sometimes that I see this pool of people just shrink and shrink the more I move forward.


That is all for today, it is rare i post journals anyway, hope some people take the time to read it and have a wonderful day