*sighs*

Things just havent been going well...and with me that is nothing new, but this is different...
I dont mean to be such a downer all the time, I just like to express myself and how I feel, especially with what I have been going through for the past 4 months...

Ever since I moved to Buffalo from Rochester it seems that things in my life have been getting progressivley worse and I dont know why. I was hopping this was going to be the start of a new beginning but this dream of mine is turning into a nightmare. Anthrocon was the climax, the heighest point of happiness for me...and then things went downhill....
My first attempt at trying to start of a relationship with someone didnt go well but since then I have fixed things in that relationship and we are still good friends. Then in August I get word that one of my close friends, Trey dies in a tragic drowning in Florida, to make matters worse that same week my mom tells me my Dad (my actual biological Father) is once again back in jail for going on a crime spree.

Now this situation I am in....I couldnt go to Furfright because I didnt have enough money....but that in itself was not the cause for all the anguish I have been feeling the last few weeks. A person that I had interest in and that I wanted to try something with outright betrayed me. I asked them if I could date them and they said they would give it a chance, but then they went on about how they dont do long distance and that someone they wanted to date themselves betrayed them and used them and that they were not ready for a relationship yet...I bugged them about it and how I wanted to try something with them, and I did irritate them a bit.

And then a Bomb Shell, I found out they have started dating someone...
Hypocrisy at its finest. The person I was friends with and wanted to try to date wound up dating someone else, and on top of that, the person my "friend" was dating was long distance, which just added insult to injury...It's just unbelievable. Not to get into detail but my friend's relationship with the person they were dating didnt go well and they eventually broke up.

It's been eating me from the inside out for the last few weeks and even though everyone tells me to just move on its so hard to when something like this happens. I feel betrayed and left behind...I've been trying to contact this person and talk to them about this but they dont reaply and I almost get they feeling they are deliberatley ignoring me. I guess I dont know what I want, perhaps just closure or an apology but honestly I feel like this person doesnt even care about me or my feelings.

I guess that in all in all I just feel extremely depressed and lonely about this whole thing because I feel I'll never have a chance with anyone. My already low trust for other people has been broken...again, but honestly I'm not surprised. I guess all that is left for me is to just move on in life. Bad things will happen to everyone, it's inevitiable, but Life goes on, with or without you.