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The State of things, Death, Books, Alone time...
12 years ago
So as many of you have noticed, I haven't been around for a while. Initially it was to teach dance and that went wonderfully, and as I was preparing for some art to begin, we had a tragedy in our Family.
My Step Father's Sister, the one he was closest to, as well as myself passed away very suddenly.
She lived with us back in Virginia for a while, and she was the only one of Dave's siblings who I ever got close to, the only one that acknowledged me at all really. She has a son just a little older then myself, and he and I were and still are good friends.
She gave me a little gold dragon stuffed animal after my brain surgery that I still cherish and sleep with every night. It is my second most prized possession.
about a week and a half ago she found out she had pancreatic cancer, and a week after that, last Thursday she went in for an MRI to see what the damage was exactly. She was in a lot of pain and anxious about the MRI so she was given a shot of morphine at the hospital, after the MRI she was still in a lot of pain and went home and took her normal dose of pain medicine and she had a heart attack. Her heart just slowed down too much, and couldn't handle the strain.
The next morning My mother called me very early and told me Martha had a heart attack and that we needed to have a family meeting of sorts since my step father needed to go up to Maryland to be there for her and her son. So Juin and I rushed over half asleep and only moments after we arrived my step dad walked in from getting the car tuned up for his drive and said his brother had called and she had died.
Just like that.
We all sort of...just broke.
I have only experienced one other death in my life and it was a long course, this suddenness was foreign to me and my mother.
I know pancreatic cancer is awful, and once they DID get the MRI processed it showed that the cancer was all through her body. It was a blessing and I know that.
So my family is going up there while I stay here and hold down the fort.
In the mean time since I will be home so much, I will get Juindalo to help me set up a streaming system like he has so you can see me as well as my artwork I am working on.
I am thinking of doing some small commissions, like little ornaments of your Fursonas. I will need 3 examples which I will do on the first stream. So I will pick 3 people at random on the stream to create little ornaments for, and I will offer them for about $10.
On another note while all this was going on I completed "His Dark Materials" (The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, The Amber Spyglass)
I am looking for other that have read this series to talk with. I am quite invigorated by it and it has provoked deep thought which good books do to and for me. Though I would not recommend reading it while you have just lost a loved one :/
there are parts that are difficult, but I found the books un-put-down-able.
Fascinating and the fact the author took something that we all must experience into a pivotal part of the character's journey I think was a stroke of genius.
Yes I know that there are lots of controversy with the religious connotations of this series, or the "anti-Christian" viewpoints.
But really, people are always going to say what they want, and where the topics of religion are concerned, people just sort of glaze over. If read with an open mind, then you can really see a lot of uniqueness in these books. Take your own feelings of religion out of the picture and take it for what it is, a book about a little girl on the brink of womanhood with a great journey ahead of her. What is right, what is wrong, what is worth fighting for, and what is worth giving up. What it means to grow up.
Anyway, so that is what has been going on on my end.
I will post a journal and pictures for the Ornament streams and such. And see what we can do :)
My Step Father's Sister, the one he was closest to, as well as myself passed away very suddenly.
She lived with us back in Virginia for a while, and she was the only one of Dave's siblings who I ever got close to, the only one that acknowledged me at all really. She has a son just a little older then myself, and he and I were and still are good friends.
She gave me a little gold dragon stuffed animal after my brain surgery that I still cherish and sleep with every night. It is my second most prized possession.
about a week and a half ago she found out she had pancreatic cancer, and a week after that, last Thursday she went in for an MRI to see what the damage was exactly. She was in a lot of pain and anxious about the MRI so she was given a shot of morphine at the hospital, after the MRI she was still in a lot of pain and went home and took her normal dose of pain medicine and she had a heart attack. Her heart just slowed down too much, and couldn't handle the strain.
The next morning My mother called me very early and told me Martha had a heart attack and that we needed to have a family meeting of sorts since my step father needed to go up to Maryland to be there for her and her son. So Juin and I rushed over half asleep and only moments after we arrived my step dad walked in from getting the car tuned up for his drive and said his brother had called and she had died.
Just like that.
We all sort of...just broke.
I have only experienced one other death in my life and it was a long course, this suddenness was foreign to me and my mother.
I know pancreatic cancer is awful, and once they DID get the MRI processed it showed that the cancer was all through her body. It was a blessing and I know that.
So my family is going up there while I stay here and hold down the fort.
In the mean time since I will be home so much, I will get Juindalo to help me set up a streaming system like he has so you can see me as well as my artwork I am working on.
I am thinking of doing some small commissions, like little ornaments of your Fursonas. I will need 3 examples which I will do on the first stream. So I will pick 3 people at random on the stream to create little ornaments for, and I will offer them for about $10.
On another note while all this was going on I completed "His Dark Materials" (The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, The Amber Spyglass)
I am looking for other that have read this series to talk with. I am quite invigorated by it and it has provoked deep thought which good books do to and for me. Though I would not recommend reading it while you have just lost a loved one :/
there are parts that are difficult, but I found the books un-put-down-able.
Fascinating and the fact the author took something that we all must experience into a pivotal part of the character's journey I think was a stroke of genius.
Yes I know that there are lots of controversy with the religious connotations of this series, or the "anti-Christian" viewpoints.
But really, people are always going to say what they want, and where the topics of religion are concerned, people just sort of glaze over. If read with an open mind, then you can really see a lot of uniqueness in these books. Take your own feelings of religion out of the picture and take it for what it is, a book about a little girl on the brink of womanhood with a great journey ahead of her. What is right, what is wrong, what is worth fighting for, and what is worth giving up. What it means to grow up.
Anyway, so that is what has been going on on my end.
I will post a journal and pictures for the Ornament streams and such. And see what we can do :)
As for His Dark Materials, I read the books a long time ago, re-read them a few years ago, and watched the movie earlier this year. I agree, it was very thought-provoking. I really felt for them and the heart-rending decision they had to make in the end. Not sure the movie was that good after reading the books, but I rarely enjoy movies based on books I've previously read. ^^
The movie was just too short and they left out too much. Changed too much.
Reading about the land of the Dead after just losing someone is really just a life fuck I tell ya.
it was really depressing, but the story was just so enthralling that I didn't want to put it down.
So yeah.
And thank you for your condolences. I am hoping that by streaming I can stifle my loneliness at being here alone for 5 days.
Juin will be able to be here a little bit, but not much, he has Nahmbo to take care of, and I can;t leave my dog for long due to his illnesses.
Oh well, I'll get to do some more art again and see where that takes me.
I will stream, and Juin will be around when he can. I will try and do productive things, and I have a therapist I can call, as well as other sources of comfort.
So I will try and make due.
So yeah, I'll be streaming more here soon since I have nothing else to do right now, and that should do well to keep me company.
Read all the books, but unfortunately... it's been a while, and I don't remember much of the details. I do remember them being really good though, so I'm glad you enjoyed them too.
losses happen to everyone. Despite this, I see you have shown the strength to pull through and want to keep going on. Time helps us move forward and I think the best way to respect the memory of someone you loved, is to always remember their best and happiest moments.
My prayers go with you and your family *hugs*
I think it was Mother Theresa who said "God never gives me more than I can handle; I just wish he didn't trust me quite so much," or something along those lines. I know you're strong enough to come through this, too, but the universe seems to have a bit much faith in you...
If you need a spare fuzzy shoulder to cry on, or anything, just let me know. I'll be sending positive energies your way.