These past couple of months have been very very hard on Rob. Watching the woman i love fall for another guy just sent me spiraling down hill. Ever since then it just seems as though my life is going to shit. Family members abandoning me, seem to be losing friends nearly everyday, hell i've even been hospitalized due to my shit health getting shittier. Through all of it I've just been watching myself get replaced...maybe im just being obsessive but i cant help it. I just wish i can go back in time and just apologize for being such a huge dick. Apologize for being controlling, apologize for not being supportive enough and for saying whatever mean things I said. In all I just want her to be happy and I hope she is. I really do..At this point I dont even want to take my medicine maybe in some kind of weird fucked up way im getting what i deserve and i should just accept it. Regardless I'm just typing what's off the top of my head. I don't feel any better...guess i'll give it more time...I'll just sit here and wait