Alright guys. I was hurting for awhile. I have been thru some serious shit not just because of the AF but the fact I was treated like utter shit all thanks to SFS (Security Forces Squadron) at my last base after coming back from my deployment to Iraq. My flight chief was an utter dick. A monster. "The Devil of Charlie Flight" was his nickname and Thanks to him..thanks to THAT asshole I was so scared of failing my PT test and telling him I failed as well I committed a sin and attempt To hurt myself. I didn't thank god but I committed myself to mental health for a week and got better. Afterwards everyone avoided me like I was the fucking plague all my good friends at work stopped talking to me. They wound me by leaving me alone and then afterwards throwing Salt on the wound after heading to a desk job, getting nothing but crap supervisors and failing another PT test I had a super that Worked me out so fucking hard I vomited. Motherfucker I am Senior Airman. Not a fucking trainee out of basic. I was sad as I am right now The only saving grace was my cross training was accepted and did OJT with the Civil Engineering squadron there before I left 6 months Later. I was as happy as I was when I arrived and stayed on base for 6 months before I deployed. My shit story continues when I came to Moody. Fucking hate this place. After coming here and officially start my first day on the job I get chewed out for stupid little shit. I wont bore you with those details but basically coupled with another shitty supervisor, my ex attempting suicide, threatening my life, Getting him banned from base, and sending him to a home he hates and who hates him I get shitted on by my leadership. They come after me. They attack my character, my integrity, my honor, my patriotism and left me feeling dead. I felt utterly alone at work with no one to At work at all until a couple of new faces who worked here came back from deployment and made me feel slowly better. Sadly i fucked myself By failing my PT test. I was wounded again by my First Sergeant. He attacked me today in a way so bad I cried in front of my new BETTER supervisor as the First Shirt finished lecturing me again about paperwork that came in a few minutes Late. He called me a good for nothing A1C. That i had no pride. No love for my country. No honor. No integrity. All i care about is my Paycheck. Questioning my motives. Questioning me to the point I was biting my lips and holding back tears of pain. Where did I go wrong? God I wish I had a good supervisor like a wolf I know in my squadron or someone else so I am not crying in my car all alone. when I can steal time for myself ;_; #EndRant

Please forgive my outburst. I am slowly recovering and trying to work thru the emotions. I am not posting this on my adult account. So if you was wondering where has that wolf pup been he has been dealing with some serious personal shit.