My brother, mother, best friend and myself are all siting in a tiny room. I'm holding my cat in my arms, barely containing myself, my brother and mother have tears visibly welling in their eyes. I realize I do as well. Tank is meowing, maybe he knows but I don't think so. My heart breaks. The veterinarian and his assistant walk in, solemn and somber. We all listen as the explain the procedure. I set Tank down on the veterinary table and the give him the injection. I pick him up and hold him so he can look out the window. My mother protests saying I should let my brother pet him, but my brother realizes what I'm doing and stands next to me and pets Tank. I wonder in my own mind as we all are shedding tears if Tank is mentally running back home. Back where he belongs. He goes limp in my arms and I begin to crack. I catch a glimpse of my friend's face, tears in her eyes. The veterinarian and his assistant return to the room. I set Tank back onto the table. The Vet explains the second injection after he makes sure Tank is sedated properly. We acknowledge our understanding. They give him the injection as I slip my arm under his head, like he used to when I'd go to sleep. I see my mother and brother each place a hand on him. We all cry as the doctor and assistant stand back. Finally the veterinarian checks for a pulse. He confirms the death, and I weep in a way I don't think I ever have before. The staff leaves the room giving us a moment. MY mother picks up his limp body, cradling him. Somehow, she holds her composure better than my brother or myself. My mother asks if anyone else would like to hold him one last time. I do, I walk over to take hold of him. My mom tells me to be careful, because he's voided himself. I don't care. I cradle him in my arms. I stifle my sobbing as I hold my cat in my arms, tears running down my face onto his head, soaking his fur. I wonder why this cat, a cat I'd come to consider as a son, had to die. I wonder why he had to suffer from cancer. I sway from side to side uttering apologies under my breath. I tell him I love him before I set Tank back down on the table. When we leave the room the assistant tell us that it'll be a week when we'll receive his ashes. I nod and walk out the door first. My brother walks out after I light a cigaret. He tells me he'll drive my car home. I get into the passenger seat and cry the entire way.