I do apologize for not getting them done sooner. A lot of you know that my family is going through a tough time right now with my mother's cancer, and recently it has gotten a lot harder.

I think I have come to the realization that, even though I have tried to find the drive to pick up a pencil or a paint brush more (hence the reason why I opened requests again), I think it has something to do with a state of depression I am in. I almost want to kick myself for not realizing it sooner. I had been thinking that it was just from my mental exhaustion from my new job and I didn't want to do much else than to unwind with a video game and escape from the world or sleep. However, with everything going on with my mother, I really think it is my own kind of depression.

Now I doodle off and on, mainly at work when it's dead, but it's nothing huge. But when I want to get at my list of requests or my own list of ideas I get the drive when I'm at work. When I get home it just... vanishes. I don't want to force myself to draw. Forcing it will probably make me push myself away from it more. Believe me, I have had moments where I'm feeling an urge to pick up a pencil. BUT IT ALWAYS HAPPENS AT WORK. XDDDD

Anyway... maybe I'm just extremely bad at taking requests... maybe I'm bad at time management... maybe I am worrying too much about my mother and I'm scared for her... I hate making excuses like this, but even my family has recognized that I haven't been drawing or painting since I got out of school. I'm just glad I was the first to say something to my father before he told me he was thinking the same thing.

I haven't forgotten about everyone on my list. I have a big ol' note in purple on my dry-erase mat above my bed that I see every day reminding me. I think Vix has been sleeping a lot recently.

Much love to you all.