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I am so mad right now!
12 years ago
General
Major rant and spoilers regarding "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and "Game of Thrones" ahead - you have been warned!
As i grew older, i became less and less invested in things i did - video games, books, movies...whatever happened there hardly glanced me, with few exceptions like "Lost Odyssey", that left me sobbing for a character that was in the game for 10 minutes. One can argue, that the ammount of Media ive been exposed over the years left me with thicker skin or the "Seen in already..." attitude and i was hardly vexed by anything - this might explain why i failed to see why MLP was such a huge deal, even after giving it a shot and watching first five episodes - things just hardly click for me any more...at least, thats what i thought before yesterday!
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and I have a history together - i got to read first two books at the time i was still young and unspoiled and even kinda enjoyed the first one, although the second one was pretty dull for me at the time. I kinda forgot about this piece of work for a while and now, ten years later, decided to finally finish the whole thing. Seeing that im well equipped with kindle and long trips back and fro to serbia, i got myself all the 5 original books and sat down to read them - and by bob, I am sooooo upset! Even more upset than that time i read that Catelyn Stark, my least favorite character from "GoT", came back to life! What got me so upset, you might ask? Well, Im about to tell you that-
Before i indulge deeper into this territory, let me give you a quick recap of the books:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - classic! In my opinion, if you need to read one to get all the references that float around the internet, read this one. It was based on a Radio Play, so the humor is something to get used to, since it depends highly on the things that we dont see, but ill get to that in a moment.
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe - Quite dull, but better than third
Life, the Universe and Everything - worse than 2nd, has the "Will Smith" thing, where you forgett about it as soon as it ends.
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish - Different than the rest, gives a (imho) perfect end to the story that begun as an open play.
And thats all the book you should read - by all means, DO NOT READ THE FIFTH BOOK!!! Its the very one that got me soooo upset, that i even sat down to write it! I know, many people told me i shouldnt read it, but i have this perverted joy in watching the series to the end, as it lies down crumbled and utterly destroyed, just to see what happens when the crativity dies out and jumping the shark just doesnt cut it - very reason i played "Silent Hill: Homecoming" in the first place! But, nothing could get me prepeared for the utter and complete bullshit snadwich that was "Mostly Harmless", the last of the original books writen by Douglas Adams!
The fourth book had a good closure, a bit kitchy "love always preveails" kind of end, but i didnt mind! I was actually happy that Arthur Dent finally found love and peace in universe that is filled to the brim with assholes (even more than in Faster than Light video game, mind you). It was a nice thing to do, a gentleman thing to do, letting your (main) charakter finally have sum rest after being dogged around for three books like luggage. Its not a great book, mind you, but its as good as the series could get after the first one. Even the god awful humor was put to rest for most of the time. Yeah, the humor is bad in these books. As mentioned earlier, its based on Radio Play, so the humor sounds mostly as if someones hyperactive kid who saw a movie is giving you a recap of the best scenes and wont budge, even if begged by the parents to finally shut up and go play with their legos. Yes, these are highly unfunny books, but i liked the lingo in them so good that i sat through to the end. And the other thing that plagued me through my reading was the ammount of assholes that float around the universe - its 100 percent asshole density! And i dont mean only the main cast - everyone is pure breed asshat! If any conversations that play in that books would happen in real life, i assure you people would die after the initial exchange. And dont go "But Pav, thats what funny about it! Everyone being asshole is funny!" - No, it isnt! Reading through this is like sitting at McDonalds children party where they only sure sugar puffs and trying to strike a conversation with the drunkards that raided the party while bothered by the local hippies high on weed to protect the animals every five seconds! Its annoying and really tiring, reading through 2nd and 3rd book took me longer than it should because how tired it made me. But, im strafing off the topic...
Yes, the fifth book, the REAL closure to the series - its garbage of unseen proportions! Arthur Dent is return to status quo with Fenchurch, his GF from fourth book, dissapearing during one flight and out of the book for good - really!? You want to tell me that, love of his life and a person that Arthur here is so connected to, just dissapears? And its atrocious! She isnt even mentioned again the whole book! Even Marvel did best retconing than this!!! And what for? So we can put Arthur back into more danger and useless wandering through the galaxy to meet more assholes of course! Everything this character learned and gained through last four books is gone, just to excuse more of sensless wandering and falling down the ditch! But i wouldnt mind if the story would focus on him alone - after all, hes the least assholey of all the characters. But no, guess whos back? Trillian!!! Shes the most boring and bland character ive ever seen in a work of fiction, even blander than Kratos' wife! And we are focusing on her version from different timeline too, which is blander than the usual one? Well, color me excited! And yeah, Ford Prefect, the biggest butthole of them all, is also here, whoop-tee-doo.
I just cant convey how painfull it was to read through this one, since i had that nagging "Whats the point of all this?" question nagging through my head the whole time. I even thought about stopping reading all together, which, in retrospect, might have been a better idea.
But yeah, what do we gain from all this? Arthur crashlands on another planet and works as sandwich maker for the local human-like tribe. And i would be ok if the story ended here - it was the shit, compared to the ending from the last book, but its better than the REAL ending. Out of nothing, Trillian (The original one) apears and hands him a kid, since hes the father - basically, he donated his dna and spunk to pay for the trip around the galaxy and Trillian impregnated her bland self with it and now its arthurs duty to care about the bland-spawn. The kid is even named Random! If the whole premise wasnt sounding as if it was pulled right out of Douglas' (now deceased) ass, this one drives the point home. And that kid is one of those terible, TV kids that you just want to punch in the face until they stop moving. And this whole plot serves only the sole purpose to get Arhtur, Ford, Trillian and Bizzaro-Trillian back on earth so they can be destroyed for good by the Vogons - and thats IT!!! The only likable character you ever wrote in all of your fucking books, and you kill him off Douglas? And not even the good way - he just dies. The Paragraph ends and in the next one hes no more. Gone for good.
Now, im the one fully for the freedom of expresion and such, but this is just bad. It's the most stupidest way to end the series possible. I know, the thoughts of his soon-to-happen demise might have colored his disposition. Maybe he wanted to prevent anymore of those being written (which failed, since there is one more). The fact in the end remains, killing off your character is ok - killing them off in such a stupid manner is not. Their death serve nothing - they dont serve the plot, they dont serve their characters, it only serves to waste more pages and more of my time.
I am aware that some (or most) people will disagree with me, but this is just how i feel - i feel cheated. I could have stoped with the fourth book and be happy and carry on with my life. But the fifth book just jumped the shark by killing off all the cast for nothing. And that remains my problem - they died and went through the last adventure for NOTHING!!! And just the fact that we established that there ARE different timelines and dimensions, there are more of Arthur Dent, running around and asking for tea, so there is no purpose in this plot. True, it sounds like the vogons destroyed every last planet earth there is, but its so convoluted and stupid i dont even want to think about it.
But here I am, brain the size of a planet, rambling about books that are seen as classic by the most, yelling betrayal at writer that is dead for almost 13 years, and for what?
...I think im starting to understand the MLP and Fandoms in general right about now, so thanks for that...
Pav
As i grew older, i became less and less invested in things i did - video games, books, movies...whatever happened there hardly glanced me, with few exceptions like "Lost Odyssey", that left me sobbing for a character that was in the game for 10 minutes. One can argue, that the ammount of Media ive been exposed over the years left me with thicker skin or the "Seen in already..." attitude and i was hardly vexed by anything - this might explain why i failed to see why MLP was such a huge deal, even after giving it a shot and watching first five episodes - things just hardly click for me any more...at least, thats what i thought before yesterday!
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and I have a history together - i got to read first two books at the time i was still young and unspoiled and even kinda enjoyed the first one, although the second one was pretty dull for me at the time. I kinda forgot about this piece of work for a while and now, ten years later, decided to finally finish the whole thing. Seeing that im well equipped with kindle and long trips back and fro to serbia, i got myself all the 5 original books and sat down to read them - and by bob, I am sooooo upset! Even more upset than that time i read that Catelyn Stark, my least favorite character from "GoT", came back to life! What got me so upset, you might ask? Well, Im about to tell you that-
Before i indulge deeper into this territory, let me give you a quick recap of the books:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - classic! In my opinion, if you need to read one to get all the references that float around the internet, read this one. It was based on a Radio Play, so the humor is something to get used to, since it depends highly on the things that we dont see, but ill get to that in a moment.
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe - Quite dull, but better than third
Life, the Universe and Everything - worse than 2nd, has the "Will Smith" thing, where you forgett about it as soon as it ends.
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish - Different than the rest, gives a (imho) perfect end to the story that begun as an open play.
And thats all the book you should read - by all means, DO NOT READ THE FIFTH BOOK!!! Its the very one that got me soooo upset, that i even sat down to write it! I know, many people told me i shouldnt read it, but i have this perverted joy in watching the series to the end, as it lies down crumbled and utterly destroyed, just to see what happens when the crativity dies out and jumping the shark just doesnt cut it - very reason i played "Silent Hill: Homecoming" in the first place! But, nothing could get me prepeared for the utter and complete bullshit snadwich that was "Mostly Harmless", the last of the original books writen by Douglas Adams!
The fourth book had a good closure, a bit kitchy "love always preveails" kind of end, but i didnt mind! I was actually happy that Arthur Dent finally found love and peace in universe that is filled to the brim with assholes (even more than in Faster than Light video game, mind you). It was a nice thing to do, a gentleman thing to do, letting your (main) charakter finally have sum rest after being dogged around for three books like luggage. Its not a great book, mind you, but its as good as the series could get after the first one. Even the god awful humor was put to rest for most of the time. Yeah, the humor is bad in these books. As mentioned earlier, its based on Radio Play, so the humor sounds mostly as if someones hyperactive kid who saw a movie is giving you a recap of the best scenes and wont budge, even if begged by the parents to finally shut up and go play with their legos. Yes, these are highly unfunny books, but i liked the lingo in them so good that i sat through to the end. And the other thing that plagued me through my reading was the ammount of assholes that float around the universe - its 100 percent asshole density! And i dont mean only the main cast - everyone is pure breed asshat! If any conversations that play in that books would happen in real life, i assure you people would die after the initial exchange. And dont go "But Pav, thats what funny about it! Everyone being asshole is funny!" - No, it isnt! Reading through this is like sitting at McDonalds children party where they only sure sugar puffs and trying to strike a conversation with the drunkards that raided the party while bothered by the local hippies high on weed to protect the animals every five seconds! Its annoying and really tiring, reading through 2nd and 3rd book took me longer than it should because how tired it made me. But, im strafing off the topic...
Yes, the fifth book, the REAL closure to the series - its garbage of unseen proportions! Arthur Dent is return to status quo with Fenchurch, his GF from fourth book, dissapearing during one flight and out of the book for good - really!? You want to tell me that, love of his life and a person that Arthur here is so connected to, just dissapears? And its atrocious! She isnt even mentioned again the whole book! Even Marvel did best retconing than this!!! And what for? So we can put Arthur back into more danger and useless wandering through the galaxy to meet more assholes of course! Everything this character learned and gained through last four books is gone, just to excuse more of sensless wandering and falling down the ditch! But i wouldnt mind if the story would focus on him alone - after all, hes the least assholey of all the characters. But no, guess whos back? Trillian!!! Shes the most boring and bland character ive ever seen in a work of fiction, even blander than Kratos' wife! And we are focusing on her version from different timeline too, which is blander than the usual one? Well, color me excited! And yeah, Ford Prefect, the biggest butthole of them all, is also here, whoop-tee-doo.
I just cant convey how painfull it was to read through this one, since i had that nagging "Whats the point of all this?" question nagging through my head the whole time. I even thought about stopping reading all together, which, in retrospect, might have been a better idea.
But yeah, what do we gain from all this? Arthur crashlands on another planet and works as sandwich maker for the local human-like tribe. And i would be ok if the story ended here - it was the shit, compared to the ending from the last book, but its better than the REAL ending. Out of nothing, Trillian (The original one) apears and hands him a kid, since hes the father - basically, he donated his dna and spunk to pay for the trip around the galaxy and Trillian impregnated her bland self with it and now its arthurs duty to care about the bland-spawn. The kid is even named Random! If the whole premise wasnt sounding as if it was pulled right out of Douglas' (now deceased) ass, this one drives the point home. And that kid is one of those terible, TV kids that you just want to punch in the face until they stop moving. And this whole plot serves only the sole purpose to get Arhtur, Ford, Trillian and Bizzaro-Trillian back on earth so they can be destroyed for good by the Vogons - and thats IT!!! The only likable character you ever wrote in all of your fucking books, and you kill him off Douglas? And not even the good way - he just dies. The Paragraph ends and in the next one hes no more. Gone for good.
Now, im the one fully for the freedom of expresion and such, but this is just bad. It's the most stupidest way to end the series possible. I know, the thoughts of his soon-to-happen demise might have colored his disposition. Maybe he wanted to prevent anymore of those being written (which failed, since there is one more). The fact in the end remains, killing off your character is ok - killing them off in such a stupid manner is not. Their death serve nothing - they dont serve the plot, they dont serve their characters, it only serves to waste more pages and more of my time.
I am aware that some (or most) people will disagree with me, but this is just how i feel - i feel cheated. I could have stoped with the fourth book and be happy and carry on with my life. But the fifth book just jumped the shark by killing off all the cast for nothing. And that remains my problem - they died and went through the last adventure for NOTHING!!! And just the fact that we established that there ARE different timelines and dimensions, there are more of Arthur Dent, running around and asking for tea, so there is no purpose in this plot. True, it sounds like the vogons destroyed every last planet earth there is, but its so convoluted and stupid i dont even want to think about it.
But here I am, brain the size of a planet, rambling about books that are seen as classic by the most, yelling betrayal at writer that is dead for almost 13 years, and for what?
...I think im starting to understand the MLP and Fandoms in general right about now, so thanks for that...
Pav
Later, when he was no longer pissed off for having to write a book he resented, and no longer in the throes of depression, Adams said that he regretted writing the book, and that he wanted to undo it by writing a "real" ending to the series. Unfortunately, he died before he had the chance to do that.
I do remember a couple of things that might help you cope. For Fenchurch just poofing away like that, Adams said that the reason she was so abruptly written out of the story was because he felt like he couldn't write a story where Arthur was happy. At least relationship wise. He mentioned that it was really hard for him to write the sex and romance scenes in the book before it. I think it was a combination of the publisher and divorce which kinda made him mad in both ways.
Though I do agree it would have been better if Arthur and Fenchurch lived happily ever and maybe have the series follow Ford instead or something. It reminds me a bit of Discworld. A series you might like if you like the same kind of British ironic humor. But in Discworld Rincewind the wizard is a bit like Arthur dent getting beaten up book after book until one day Pratchett made him a background character instead and have him retire in the stories, only showing up every once in awhile in funny cameos, but happy.
Also keep in mind, Mostly Harmless wasn't meant to be the end of the series. Because it is a really is a fucking dark ending. "Everyone dies. The end" Adams even said that he knew it would upset the fans but said in the next book he'd straighten it all out. There was going to be something more about that reality hopping Guide-Phoenix-Bird thing and Adams might have made a better book for them or reset them or something. We'll never know :(