After years of trying, and doing everything I can to be active and friendly in the community I've decided that I'm done. I've tried, really hard to make friends and be a positive force, helping with drama and people when they are hurt or down. I've made friends and did my best to keep them and care for them.

But it's becoming more and more clear that people don't really care for me. No matter how close I get or how good of friends I think we are the same thing keeps happening. We will be close and talk a lot for a good few weeks, maybe up to a month and then they vanish, and if i try and talk to them again I'm ignored. it happens every time. I've come to expect it...

Well I can't take the pain, the heartbreak of loving someone as a friend or even family and then them leaving me. it's happened to many times... and the only way i can think to avoid it is to go away. To my actual friends, the handfull who have stuck with me... I'm not going anywhere nothing will change, you can still poke me on skype and expect a hi, but to anyone else, new or old, I'm not gunna be active anymore.. not on FA, Inkbunny or anywhere other then my IMs. and i will not accept random adds or IMs asking for my info.

All I wanted was to make friends and make people happy and apparently I couldn't.. i couldn't even keep the people i loved deeply happy. I couldn't hold onto the few friends I thought really cared. I know it's something i did. i know it MUST be a problem with me driving so many away.. but for the love of god I wish people would just tell me what it was... Maybe then I could fix it.

Anywho.. I'm sorry for the emodrama.. i just didn't want to leave my FA page abandoned, so this will stay here for anyone interested enough to read it.

Good Bye and good luck to all of you. Everyone I've tried to love, everyone I've tried to help. And thank you to the maybe 3-4 who have stuck with me through the years.