Sometimes, in a rare occurrence I get nostalgic for the weirdest things. Friends, lost loved ones, old toys, and more. I guess those aren't.. weird.. but usually it's the situation behind their loss that's weird.

There are places and people i miss so much, and i get that feeling for them all the time. Some that I'd hope someday I might find again, and some.. I know could never be there. As I get older i feel more and more like I'm losing more then I'm gaining, people used to know me, care about me, respect me. Tio was someone people knew as a nice guy that could be relied on, or could be a sympathetic ear.

But everyone from back then is gone now. Death, hatred, naturally moving apart. The few who are still around i can hardly get two words out of on a good day. Most of it's my fault, I'm sure. It's hard for me to understand the ways I've hurt people, the nuances of social life can easily be lost on me.

I guess I miss being me from 5-8 years ago.. the me who could write a story, the me who made and kept friends so easily. The me who hadn't been broken so many times by life.

I'm not even 27 and i feel like a broken hollow shell, where everything is poured out and scattered. I'm not unhappy mind you. I'm bi-polar yeah, but my life isn't bad or miserable. I just.. feel like I lost my prime.