Christmas was ok. Nothing too bad happened. Didn't really have a party, since it was mostly for the little ones. Everyone in my house is stressed and I was happy to actually get anything. I can't complain about it. I guess I just wish for parties like the old days. when my whole family would come over and we'd party like a bunch of idiots. It was really about getting the family together back then... as the years gone by I realize that less and less people would show up or even plan a party... not its doctor visits and quick present drop offs. I miss my family getting together. It took my mind off all the bad things going on around even for a moment and boy do I need it.

Losing my boyfriend three months ago still hangs in my head and I get depressed just thinking about how that fat cow gets to spend time with him and I'm stuck in a room with my mom, brother and his kids trying not to cry because all I really wanted for christmas was for him to be there with me. its sad but I'd actually thought I'd finally be in a relationship when this time of year rolled around... I guess I'll have to build up hope for next year...

Still I am thnakful that I spent some tiem with my brother and his two kids together. its not often I get to see them both at the same time, and it was actually cute seeing their faces when "Santa" came. These small moments I must treasure.