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The MOST important lesson I've learned about survival:
12 years ago
VERSIÓN EN ESPAÑOL (AKA. ME DA HUEVA ESCRIVIRLO TODO)
This has been such an awesome year! I've finished my Thesis on psychology and so i have also found a work that, even if it is enslaving, it is mine, i can use my little money for my little gifts (and gifts to my friends and boyfriend which is AWESOME!) All this also means complete independence from my father who until now has been the one who payed my studies and made sure i didn't forget that.
Since I was such a little cub i used to be the tallest and smartest from the class (study-wise... i was an idiot in social skills) Which was a true awe anywhere I went. I didn't had a lot of friends since being big meant kids could get easily hurt by my dumb movements, and I was smart enough to make teachers, kids and even some regular adults just blush in shame. Enough me said i wasn't precisely surrounded by fans.
After some SERIOUS bulling in my first school a psychologist told me just to be nice to everyone and tell the teachers if i had any troubles. This made things just worse!!! now i was not only a "goody idiot" of the class, but also i was a tattler! (way to go!)
It wasn't untill much MUCH more latter when thanks to my Father, my teachers and, yes, my BELOVED former brotherhood in the fandom, i learned the most important lesson i've learned about survivial in my whole 28 years of life.
Keep your friends close and play with them, and treasure them... but keep dangerous people closer, praise their stupid ideas like they were right and make them feel you are on their side. Keep your true strength hidden, but be unafraid to strike if they want you down!
Ohh but people know you are not someone to play with... and most people respect that (and those who are just afraid of me, honestly i wouldn't care less about them), since i acted this way ive had a firm friendship with those i really care, i am not surrounded by true friends, but those i have i treasure to no end and they know i would give anything to make their problems less. I am well known to be a nice person with my teachers and even now to my boss, also a nice co-worker and (even if they aren't all my friends) a nice neighbor/good furry. After all, i dont get all nervous with everyone since not everyone deserves to get an aggression from me, neither i am giving all my resources toward people who doesn't deserve it neither. (if you didn't knew, the amount of "fucks" you can give at a time are limited, and if i gave a fuck towards everyone i would run out of fucks to give toward important things too quickly)
Why do i mention this? Well my dearest Father made sure to tell me once and again how useless i was in my life. Ohhh and that MADE ME MAD, SOOOO MAD. but the fucker was right, he was paying me to stand his shit and, as any slave/master relationship, i should stand his shit as long as he was paying me to stand it. I had to see him each weekend, or at least be available each Sunday cuz' even if he told me he was "too busy to see me" i HAD to be on his command. But as soon he stopped paying me any kind of money i stopped seeing him. He didn't called, neither did i. I would assume he knows i am mad at him if i haven't done it before and realized he was to selfish to realize it.
And now, after nice 18 years my lovely dad had risen in arms, trying to manipulate my brothers to hurt us and leave us and our mother without a single cent of his heritage... yea i DO understand why one of my brothers fell for that one, he is also divorced and is... well... more identified with my father...(I am not saying he is stupid... he is just gullible, as gullible as someone who feels guilty for whatever-reason and wants to make mends of it at any cost)
I've bitten the dust sooo many times i learned to like the smell and taste of it, but, well, what can i say? it's this kind of things that makes me feel alive, a new adventure with interesting hard-fighting demons and monsters.(BTW i finished the 3 Etrian Odysseys) In the end of the battle, i LOVE the feeling of actually gaining experience and knowing i am falling down less.
The sly lion hides his claws, or was it eagle? who cares?
RANT AHEAD:
you have been warned
This has been such an awesome year! I've finished my Thesis on psychology and so i have also found a work that, even if it is enslaving, it is mine, i can use my little money for my little gifts (and gifts to my friends and boyfriend which is AWESOME!) All this also means complete independence from my father who until now has been the one who payed my studies and made sure i didn't forget that.
Since I was such a little cub i used to be the tallest and smartest from the class (study-wise... i was an idiot in social skills) Which was a true awe anywhere I went. I didn't had a lot of friends since being big meant kids could get easily hurt by my dumb movements, and I was smart enough to make teachers, kids and even some regular adults just blush in shame. Enough me said i wasn't precisely surrounded by fans.
After some SERIOUS bulling in my first school a psychologist told me just to be nice to everyone and tell the teachers if i had any troubles. This made things just worse!!! now i was not only a "goody idiot" of the class, but also i was a tattler! (way to go!)
It wasn't untill much MUCH more latter when thanks to my Father, my teachers and, yes, my BELOVED former brotherhood in the fandom, i learned the most important lesson i've learned about survivial in my whole 28 years of life.
Keep your friends close and play with them, and treasure them... but keep dangerous people closer, praise their stupid ideas like they were right and make them feel you are on their side. Keep your true strength hidden, but be unafraid to strike if they want you down!
Ohh but people know you are not someone to play with... and most people respect that (and those who are just afraid of me, honestly i wouldn't care less about them), since i acted this way ive had a firm friendship with those i really care, i am not surrounded by true friends, but those i have i treasure to no end and they know i would give anything to make their problems less. I am well known to be a nice person with my teachers and even now to my boss, also a nice co-worker and (even if they aren't all my friends) a nice neighbor/good furry. After all, i dont get all nervous with everyone since not everyone deserves to get an aggression from me, neither i am giving all my resources toward people who doesn't deserve it neither. (if you didn't knew, the amount of "fucks" you can give at a time are limited, and if i gave a fuck towards everyone i would run out of fucks to give toward important things too quickly)
Why do i mention this? Well my dearest Father made sure to tell me once and again how useless i was in my life. Ohhh and that MADE ME MAD, SOOOO MAD. but the fucker was right, he was paying me to stand his shit and, as any slave/master relationship, i should stand his shit as long as he was paying me to stand it. I had to see him each weekend, or at least be available each Sunday cuz' even if he told me he was "too busy to see me" i HAD to be on his command. But as soon he stopped paying me any kind of money i stopped seeing him. He didn't called, neither did i. I would assume he knows i am mad at him if i haven't done it before and realized he was to selfish to realize it.
And now, after nice 18 years my lovely dad had risen in arms, trying to manipulate my brothers to hurt us and leave us and our mother without a single cent of his heritage... yea i DO understand why one of my brothers fell for that one, he is also divorced and is... well... more identified with my father...
I've bitten the dust sooo many times i learned to like the smell and taste of it, but, well, what can i say? it's this kind of things that makes me feel alive, a new adventure with interesting hard-fighting demons and monsters.
The sly lion hides his claws
A toast to your future.
Even if there are some people i dont trust fully i am still nice, and sometimes even playful, with them. i used to get too concern about what they might hurt me or stuff like that before, but part of my actual philosophy is to be nice to them unless i have a reason not to do so.
I treated my father really nice and his girlfriend, and his friends. actually they still see me as someone reliable ^_^ Still now, it's my father who i conciser someone not worthy of my trust, which doesn't extend to anyone around him.
Anyone who knows me IRL might tell you i am a probably awkward when making mistakes, but i am really nice X3