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walking in the rain
12 years ago
holidays
there is so much going on lately that i need to vent and i can't and i just want to scream so, why not vent on here.
first, one of my brothers was found to have a tumor on his cerebellum, luckily the tumor is small and thus far doesn't' need to be removed (good thing since there is a fifty percent chance that a brain surgery would cause more damage than good) also, the doctors see that his cerebellum is deformed, (all these are caused by his birth defect). This deformation is causing pressure on his spine and there currently is nothing we can do about it, but he is going to see more specialists. I am terrified! My brothers are the rocks in my life, they are my best friends, and practically my children. if you believe in god and want to pray for him, i'd be grateful, either way he needs some strong positive thoughts going his way. even thinking about this now and typing this has me starting to cry again. he's just now become an adult and i couldn't stand the idea of him not being in my life!
Second, my mother and sister are trying to... figure something out with their relationship which tends to put me in the middle and its frustrating and i'm so over it.
Third, my half brother christian is brilliant! he attended the family Christmas party at my sisters. It went well but my biological dad is being a jerk and its killing me knowing how separated that he is from my sisters just so my dad can feel comfortable. *anger*
fourth, i wish my mom was in a healthier relationship
Fifth, I want to be in the kind of relationship i see my sisters having. It doesn't need to be perfect, god no because, i'm not perfect but i see them and i see their kids and think, i want that!
there is so much going on lately that i need to vent and i can't and i just want to scream so, why not vent on here.
first, one of my brothers was found to have a tumor on his cerebellum, luckily the tumor is small and thus far doesn't' need to be removed (good thing since there is a fifty percent chance that a brain surgery would cause more damage than good) also, the doctors see that his cerebellum is deformed, (all these are caused by his birth defect). This deformation is causing pressure on his spine and there currently is nothing we can do about it, but he is going to see more specialists. I am terrified! My brothers are the rocks in my life, they are my best friends, and practically my children. if you believe in god and want to pray for him, i'd be grateful, either way he needs some strong positive thoughts going his way. even thinking about this now and typing this has me starting to cry again. he's just now become an adult and i couldn't stand the idea of him not being in my life!
Second, my mother and sister are trying to... figure something out with their relationship which tends to put me in the middle and its frustrating and i'm so over it.
Third, my half brother christian is brilliant! he attended the family Christmas party at my sisters. It went well but my biological dad is being a jerk and its killing me knowing how separated that he is from my sisters just so my dad can feel comfortable. *anger*
fourth, i wish my mom was in a healthier relationship
Fifth, I want to be in the kind of relationship i see my sisters having. It doesn't need to be perfect, god no because, i'm not perfect but i see them and i see their kids and think, i want that!
