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2013 and Heartache
12 years ago
"But the tigers come at night.
With their voices soft as thunder.
As they tear your hope apart.
As they turn your dream to shame"
"I thought, I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around and he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well, you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
The conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine, I'm torn"
I'm having a very hard time letting go of how awful this year has been. It boils down to problems at work, but more importantly, to someone I cared for a lot and for whom, for close to 8 years, I did a lot and yet ...
As much as I could, I laid the world down at your feet, to make up for wrongs your supposed loved ones did to you. For whatever reasons maybe not even you know, you kicked me while I was down there. Whatever it was, you weren't even man enough to talk about it and instead you somehow find it logical to make me the villain. A part of me still loves the good you I once knew, deeply, but you hurt me so much and I do not believe I deserve it. I really hope some day karma catches up with you and repays you all the good I've done in the way you deserve. Maybe then you'll realize what you threw away and the damage YOU did. Stop being a victim already. I went through worse than you, and you know that, yet I did not let my daddy issues stop me from trusting and caring for you. You're "absolutely done" with me, right? Then goodbye.
On the flip side of the coin, here's to all the family members, friends and colleagues who stood by me more than ever, when I needed you more than ever. Life has a nasty habit of sometimes throwing more at us at once than we can handle. I appreciate that more of you than I expected were there to help me. To people like you I wish a happy 2014 - you deserve it.
With their voices soft as thunder.
As they tear your hope apart.
As they turn your dream to shame"
"I thought, I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around and he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well, you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
The conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine, I'm torn"
I'm having a very hard time letting go of how awful this year has been. It boils down to problems at work, but more importantly, to someone I cared for a lot and for whom, for close to 8 years, I did a lot and yet ...
As much as I could, I laid the world down at your feet, to make up for wrongs your supposed loved ones did to you. For whatever reasons maybe not even you know, you kicked me while I was down there. Whatever it was, you weren't even man enough to talk about it and instead you somehow find it logical to make me the villain. A part of me still loves the good you I once knew, deeply, but you hurt me so much and I do not believe I deserve it. I really hope some day karma catches up with you and repays you all the good I've done in the way you deserve. Maybe then you'll realize what you threw away and the damage YOU did. Stop being a victim already. I went through worse than you, and you know that, yet I did not let my daddy issues stop me from trusting and caring for you. You're "absolutely done" with me, right? Then goodbye.
On the flip side of the coin, here's to all the family members, friends and colleagues who stood by me more than ever, when I needed you more than ever. Life has a nasty habit of sometimes throwing more at us at once than we can handle. I appreciate that more of you than I expected were there to help me. To people like you I wish a happy 2014 - you deserve it.
Jandan
~jandan
*hugs tight*
