It took me a day, but I finally have my "resolution." I woke up today, and realized that, after 8 years (to the date in a couple of weeks) of being totally alone after all the people I cared about, family and friends alike, turned against me and sided with my ex, I am still as big a self-centered dickhole of a person as I ever was. I mean, my friend Orin has been the only person aside from my mom and my son to actually give me a Christmas present for two years straight now and it never even entered my mind to return the favor until just now.

So, this is my resolution: 2013 was "The Year it Starts Getting Better," so 2014 is "The Year I Start Becoming Better." This will be the year I expand my world beyond the end of my nose and actually try to be the person I should be, if for no other reason than maybe, if I had before, maybe I wouldn't have BEEN alone for 8 years and counting. Yeah, maybe I had a valid excuse this time, maybe I didn't...excuses don't change the fact that, if I died, there would be no one to put me in the ground or even notice it happened until the smell got to them.

We'll see how it goes.