FA+
Shop
Finally found my exact orientation
12 years ago
I, after some helpful posts I found on tumblr, much self evaluation, and some other third thing, finally found the best way to explain my orientation to people in real life.
As far as sexual orientation goes, I am mostly an asexual. I don't find interest in sex with any gender. I don't find much interest in sex at all to be honest. I don't mind doing it online, but in real life, sex was never an interest to me. I don't, nor will I ever really care about sex. I suppose if I had to, I'd be more inclined to do it with a male, because honestly, and I still don't understand why... boobs kind of freak me out. Whenever I see them by accident, I find them slightly freaky and weird and don't want to look at them. I do hold a slight sexual attraction to men, especially bigger men, but for most acts that can commonly be considered 'sexual', do not interest me in any way, or are acts that I don't find sexual at all. Not to say I don't have sexual interests, because anyone on this site knows I do, but I just don't have interests in sex with anyone as I find it unnecessary and have no desire for it.
However, I am still gay. This is in a different kind of orientation. Romantic orientation. This is the type of preference that has to do with who you want to fall in love with, as opposed to who you want to have sex with. Basically, what this means is I do like men, but in the sense that I want to have cute little romantic moments with them. Slight flirting, cuddling, kissing, playing with each other, that kind of thing. when I was young, romance seemed like a big, strong man holding a girl lovingly, making her feel secure, safe, and cared for, and I guess my mind told me that I wanted to be the girl. I wanted to be the one that was held in someone safe arms, feeling loved and cared for, as opposed to the one holding the woman close. I suppose this is why in real life, I have adopted a few girlish tendencies and mannerisms. I didn't see men as someone I wanted to have sex with, I saw them as people I wanted to be romantic with. I mean of course I do have a thing for bigger men, but I still want my relationship to be romantic with them.
I guess this makes me a homoromantic, which I feel describes me well. Although I know God accepts me either way, this is a way I can feel more comfortable expressing to Christian friends, as this would technically not go against any of their beliefs. Draw back is that it might be hard finding a partner later in life. It's easy to find a gay man to date with group places and such. I'd imagine it's hard finding ones who is okay with not having sex or anything like that, especially one who holds some of my sexual interests. And most importantly one who is Christian as well. Oh well. I may find someone, I may not. I just have to look and hope for the best.
As far as sexual orientation goes, I am mostly an asexual. I don't find interest in sex with any gender. I don't find much interest in sex at all to be honest. I don't mind doing it online, but in real life, sex was never an interest to me. I don't, nor will I ever really care about sex. I suppose if I had to, I'd be more inclined to do it with a male, because honestly, and I still don't understand why... boobs kind of freak me out. Whenever I see them by accident, I find them slightly freaky and weird and don't want to look at them. I do hold a slight sexual attraction to men, especially bigger men, but for most acts that can commonly be considered 'sexual', do not interest me in any way, or are acts that I don't find sexual at all. Not to say I don't have sexual interests, because anyone on this site knows I do, but I just don't have interests in sex with anyone as I find it unnecessary and have no desire for it.
However, I am still gay. This is in a different kind of orientation. Romantic orientation. This is the type of preference that has to do with who you want to fall in love with, as opposed to who you want to have sex with. Basically, what this means is I do like men, but in the sense that I want to have cute little romantic moments with them. Slight flirting, cuddling, kissing, playing with each other, that kind of thing. when I was young, romance seemed like a big, strong man holding a girl lovingly, making her feel secure, safe, and cared for, and I guess my mind told me that I wanted to be the girl. I wanted to be the one that was held in someone safe arms, feeling loved and cared for, as opposed to the one holding the woman close. I suppose this is why in real life, I have adopted a few girlish tendencies and mannerisms. I didn't see men as someone I wanted to have sex with, I saw them as people I wanted to be romantic with. I mean of course I do have a thing for bigger men, but I still want my relationship to be romantic with them.
I guess this makes me a homoromantic, which I feel describes me well. Although I know God accepts me either way, this is a way I can feel more comfortable expressing to Christian friends, as this would technically not go against any of their beliefs. Draw back is that it might be hard finding a partner later in life. It's easy to find a gay man to date with group places and such. I'd imagine it's hard finding ones who is okay with not having sex or anything like that, especially one who holds some of my sexual interests. And most importantly one who is Christian as well. Oh well. I may find someone, I may not. I just have to look and hope for the best.
God indeed does accept you, as he loves all his children regardless of what they believe, but for your Christian friends, I'd just say "I haven't met the right person yet" and not go any further than that. It's easier that way really. They may eventually ask if you're gay, I think a witty rebuttal would be a good light-hearted way to answer, like "If I were I'd probably have found the right person by now". After all, saying you "haven't found the right person" isn't really a lie.
I wouldn't tell anyone you're asexual, people have no concept of asexuality, they'll just think you have no capacity for love. Don't try to explain it, you'll just get frustrated. You'll just have to get to know them well enough for you to think if they'll actually understand that romance and attraction to sexual organs are two separate emotions.
I'd try to make 100% certainty whoever you get romantically interested in is asexual, otherwise problems will arise. My girlfriend is straight, and there are problems about that from time to time.
I'm not planning on going and announcing my sexuality to my entire school or anything. It's not like I'm going to just go around telling everyone. I'm just saying if the situation arises, I can answer honestly without hiding it, since there would be nothing to be ashamed of. I have no plans to tell anyone anyway. So far only one person knows and he has been pretty cool about it. They aren't all die hard Christians who try to change everyone who they disagree with. Most of my friends would understand if I told them. That doesn't mean I'm planning on just telling them, especially if they never asked in the first place. Still, it's not hard to explain 'I just want to date people, not have sex with them'. People around me are pretty smart and it is highly likely they would understand for the most part and not question it that much. So if people ask, I will tell them, especially if I know they will understand.
Well I'm not currently looking for a partner anyway, and don't think I will be any time soon, so I won't worry about it right now.