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Latest drama hitting a bit close to home =/
12 years ago
Mixed feelings about the latest "FA drama." First, my understanding is that people are outraged because FA is putting a certain individual who has a "reputation for being a sexual predator" in a position of power on the site.
Has this person been convicted or even formally accused of these crimes? As far as I'm aware, no. But... they have a "reputation" for it.
Now, I'm going to be very clear about this next part: judging people based on unsubstantiated rumor is a fucking shitty thing to do.
Mainly because I know firsthand what it's like when false allegations get thrown about.
In my particular cause, several individuals were outright stating that I had attempted to rape a particular friend of mine, and were trying to get me blackballed in the fandom. They did this out of malice for some imagined slight, as far as I could tell. The shitty thing is that the friend of mine had no clue about what was being spread around until someone came to her about it, at which point she got pissed that people were trying to start shit. Apparently, my suitability as a commissioner and as a person was in doubt, because I was a "predatory rapist" and was I a bad person who couldn't be trusted.
I'm going to say this again: people got pissed at me, started rumors that I tried raping a friend of mine, and spread that information around to discredit me. That is a horrible, life-destroying thing to do to someone. There was no evidence needed or even solicited, just a "I heard that so-and-so" and it spread like fucking wildfire.
Oh, and the best part? I'm a rape survivor myself. Both from my early childhood and from within the last few years. What happened to me when I was raped is going to stick with me for the rest of my life, and I struggle with it constantly, but you know what? None of that mattered to the individuals who started the rumors.
So, having said that—if you are an individual who passes along unsubstantiated or unfounded malicious rumors and gossip about another individual, no matter your how noble your intentions may be, then odds are you're actively taking part in the destruction of another person's life.
And that's fucked up beyond all belief.
Has this person been convicted or even formally accused of these crimes? As far as I'm aware, no. But... they have a "reputation" for it.
Now, I'm going to be very clear about this next part: judging people based on unsubstantiated rumor is a fucking shitty thing to do.
Mainly because I know firsthand what it's like when false allegations get thrown about.
In my particular cause, several individuals were outright stating that I had attempted to rape a particular friend of mine, and were trying to get me blackballed in the fandom. They did this out of malice for some imagined slight, as far as I could tell. The shitty thing is that the friend of mine had no clue about what was being spread around until someone came to her about it, at which point she got pissed that people were trying to start shit. Apparently, my suitability as a commissioner and as a person was in doubt, because I was a "predatory rapist" and was I a bad person who couldn't be trusted.
I'm going to say this again: people got pissed at me, started rumors that I tried raping a friend of mine, and spread that information around to discredit me. That is a horrible, life-destroying thing to do to someone. There was no evidence needed or even solicited, just a "I heard that so-and-so" and it spread like fucking wildfire.
Oh, and the best part? I'm a rape survivor myself. Both from my early childhood and from within the last few years. What happened to me when I was raped is going to stick with me for the rest of my life, and I struggle with it constantly, but you know what? None of that mattered to the individuals who started the rumors.
So, having said that—if you are an individual who passes along unsubstantiated or unfounded malicious rumors and gossip about another individual, no matter your how noble your intentions may be, then odds are you're actively taking part in the destruction of another person's life.
And that's fucked up beyond all belief.
Am I taking a side? no. Because I dont know what happened. If it -did- happen and its proven then by all means let someone with the proper power do something about it
It's my hope that this journal helps people stop and think about how this can easily happen to any of them. I just wish people would put themselves in others' shoes more often, you know?
The problem with a fandom and popular people is that a reputation is everything for them. And the more famous you are the easier you can start shit. I know a fair amount of what happened and I could care less about what people say.
It's also true that genuine sexual predators can get away with a lot and still claim the defense of never having been "convicted or even formally accused" because their victims refuse to come forward. And then third parties such as yourself, with the best intentions, step forward and attempt to neutralize what little consequence the predator was facing for his actions. I've seen it before; I can't be so quick to dismiss the possibility that it's happening again here.
It is a difficult situation to be sure. I think we ought not be too eager to jump to either conclusion.
so happy to see this journal!