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The king of the skies has lost his majesty. [meme inside]
17 years ago
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Journaling
1.) What's your real name?
Brittany Swanzy
2.) What state do you live in?
Illinois.
3.) Are you a virgin?
Yes, until she decides otherwise. lmao.
4.) If not, are you happy with the person you gave it up to?
n/a
5.) If you're still a virgin, how would you like to give it up and why?
To my baby girl. Whenever she's ready to do so.
6.) What's your biggest fetish and why?
I don't know what a fetish actually is.
7.) Do you think you unconsciously connect it to something from your childhood?
.....
8.) What do you hate most about yourself?
How negative I can get.
9.) Why?
It's not good at all. For me or anyone else.
10.) What happened to make you hate that aspect of yourself?
I scare people and make them worry when I start to get too negative.
11.) What is your religion if you have one?
A mixture of agnostic, atheist and pagan.
12.) Why do you choose to worship in said way? ((if you don't have a specified religion, what would you like to believe?))
Because it's my own type and what I believe in.
13.) Do you worship because it gives you hope? Or perhaps meaning to your life? (( Once again if you do not have a religion, why don't you have one?))
Oh yes. The Gods can be good and they can be bad.
14.) Honestly, has the thought ever crossed your mind that God has abandoned you?
When 'he' took away my grandmother I no longer believed in one.
15.) If so, are you ashamed of said thought?
Not at all.
16.) What do you think your meaning is in this life?
Live, love and prosper.
17.) What if there is no meaning?
Then I'm a dinosaur.
18.) Does that scare you?
Not really. Life is life.
19.) Does that make your life seem pointless?
Not at all. My life would have a purpose no matter what.
20.) What's your greatest fear?
Needles and bigfoot kidnapping me.
21.) Why?
When I was 5 I had this nurse stab me like 7 different times trying to find my vein.
I had a really bad nightmare one time about a bigfoot busting through my wall and kidnapping me.
22.) Would you ever be willing to face your fear?
Of course. I'm not so nervous with needles anymore.
23.) What happened to make you afraid of that particular thing?
I explained already.
24.) Would you ever re-live it, to understand why it bothered you so much?
Never.
25.) What are you afraid of losing?
My baby girl and family.
26.) Why?
Beacuse they mean so much to me.
27.) Would it make you feel alone in this world?
I would be consumed in loneliness.
28.) Do you believe you're ugly on the inside?
Not at all.
29.) If so, why? If not, why not?
Because I believe I am beautiful on the outside and even more beautiful on the inside.
30.) Do you think you truly know and understand yourself?
Way better than I used to.
31.) Does it scare you to know you really might not know who you are?
No, I've accepted this fact and do not fear it.
32.) Does the thought scare you that someday you might find someone who wants to know everything about you?
I love telling my life stories to my beautiful woman.
33.) If it does, why? If it doesn't, why not?
Because I want to share the rest of my life with her along with my afterlife and if we're reborn I will find her again and love her again.
34.) Do you truly believe you have nothing to hide?
I try to wear everything on my shoulder.
35.) If so, tell me the most horrible thing you've ever done and why.
If not, why are you so ashamed of it that you think you must hide it?
I can't really think of one. I try to forget what's bad.
36.) Does it bother you that eventually you will die?
Nope. I have my funeral planned and choices of dying picked out already. Even though I deny it in public, I truly hope to die in my sleep of old age beside my baby. Us holding hands and smiling.
37.) Have you said everything you want to say to those you know before you die?
I usually always tell people that I love them and always make sure to hug my grandpa and tell him I love him whenever we visit him.
38.) Does it scare you that you might not get to tell those you love how much they matter to you before you die?
Yes, actually.
39.) What do you think you'd be like if you lost total control of your temper?
I don't want to know.
40.) If you're not sure, does that scare you? If you have lost total control of your temper, are you ashamed of how you got?
I lash out and do foolish things and say foolish things. I truly hate it,
41.) At the same time, do you really want to just lose your temper?
At the people I truly despise, yes.
42.) Is the thought of doing so liberating in some way?
Sorta.
43.) Have you ever had suicidal thoughts or feelings?
Yeah, who hasn't?
44.) If so, why? If not, what do you think about suicide?
It's only a permenant solution to a temporary problem.
45.) Have you ever partook in self-mutilation?
Never have, never will.
46.) If so, does/did it give you some sick pleasure?
If not, does it disturb you? Why?
Yes in a way. It's just so silly to do that. Then you have the scar to always remind you of what you did.
47.) Do you believe it's some how slightly fascinating how one person can hate something so much that they take their own life or hurt themselves?
It's all about the psychology of the brain. It is somewhat fascinating.
48.) What do you think compels them to look so much at the bad in their life?
Perhaps they've just found no other way to be happy and look only at the bad.
49.) Do you like to act 'tough' online?
And in reality.
50.) Does it give you some kind of self-satisfaction?
Yup.
51.) Why do you feel the need to act that way? If you don't, why do you THINK people feel the need to act as such?
It's easier to be a troll online because there's no face to face contact. I love it.
52.) Do you have a low self-esteem?
I dunno. Depends.
53.) If so, why? If not, why?
I've been bullied about my shortness but I've striving to overcome it.
54.) What would it take to lower your self-esteem?
Calling me short in a very cruel way.
55.) Would you take some form of pleasure from it?
No.
56.) Do you sometimes secretly like being humiliated?
No.
57.) Do you think you would ever like being sexually humiliated?
I never would.
58.) If so, is it because you feel guilty of WANTING such a thing? If not, would you like so sexually humiliated someone else?
No.
59.) Does the thought of being weak and powerless and completely at someone else's mercy thrill you, scare you,...or both?
Scares me.
60.) Why?
Because I grew up feeling weak and powerless.
62.) Do you act different on there than in real life?
If not, why?
I'm assuming the interwebz so yes.
66.) Do you enjoy that you can act however you want because people don't know who you really are?
A bit, yes.
67.) Would you act the same if everyone on here knew you in real life?
Probably.
68.) Would you act different?
Possibly.
69.) Does the key board give you a sense of power?
No.
70.) Does it make you feel like you can say whatever you want?
Sorta.
71.) Would you say something you've said online to someone's face?
Im sure I have.
72.) Do you think people can say inconsiderate things on sites because they don't know the person behind the avatar so to speak?
It's not right to do but people do it.
73.) Do YOU care that there's a person behind the avatar with feelings just like you?
Most of the time, yes.
74.) Do you think some people act like sluts on here because it boosts their self-esteem?
HAHAHA. YES.
75.) Do you think they actually act like that in real life?
Probably.
78.) Are you a different person in real life?
Yup.
79.) If so, why do you feel the need to act differently on here?
If not, are you truly THAT unafraid of what people may think?
There's not much difference between on here and in real life. I'm more open on the interwebz than real life because I'm uber shy.
80.) Do you crave attention at times?
Sometimes.
81.) If so, why? Does it make you feel important?
If not, why not? Are you afraid if people notice you they'll hurt you?
It doesn't make me feel important. I just like the way I am and want other people to see.
82.) Does the thought of being absolutely alone scare you?
Oh gods, yes.
83.) If so, why?
If not, do you CRAVE to be alone?
I'm afraid of someone hurting me or doing something.
84.) Do you consider yourself attractive?
If so, why? If not, why not?
I really don't think I'm pretty but as long as she thinks I am, I'm good.
85. If you were having a relationship with a person and you found out that you're both cousins or related to each other, would that affect your relationship?
Ewwww.
Peace, love and star-wishes my fellow comrades.
Commissions: Closed.
Trades: Closed
Journaling
1.) What's your real name?
Brittany Swanzy
2.) What state do you live in?
Illinois.
3.) Are you a virgin?
Yes, until she decides otherwise. lmao.
4.) If not, are you happy with the person you gave it up to?
n/a
5.) If you're still a virgin, how would you like to give it up and why?
To my baby girl. Whenever she's ready to do so.
6.) What's your biggest fetish and why?
I don't know what a fetish actually is.
7.) Do you think you unconsciously connect it to something from your childhood?
.....
8.) What do you hate most about yourself?
How negative I can get.
9.) Why?
It's not good at all. For me or anyone else.
10.) What happened to make you hate that aspect of yourself?
I scare people and make them worry when I start to get too negative.
11.) What is your religion if you have one?
A mixture of agnostic, atheist and pagan.
12.) Why do you choose to worship in said way? ((if you don't have a specified religion, what would you like to believe?))
Because it's my own type and what I believe in.
13.) Do you worship because it gives you hope? Or perhaps meaning to your life? (( Once again if you do not have a religion, why don't you have one?))
Oh yes. The Gods can be good and they can be bad.
14.) Honestly, has the thought ever crossed your mind that God has abandoned you?
When 'he' took away my grandmother I no longer believed in one.
15.) If so, are you ashamed of said thought?
Not at all.
16.) What do you think your meaning is in this life?
Live, love and prosper.
17.) What if there is no meaning?
Then I'm a dinosaur.
18.) Does that scare you?
Not really. Life is life.
19.) Does that make your life seem pointless?
Not at all. My life would have a purpose no matter what.
20.) What's your greatest fear?
Needles and bigfoot kidnapping me.
21.) Why?
When I was 5 I had this nurse stab me like 7 different times trying to find my vein.
I had a really bad nightmare one time about a bigfoot busting through my wall and kidnapping me.
22.) Would you ever be willing to face your fear?
Of course. I'm not so nervous with needles anymore.
23.) What happened to make you afraid of that particular thing?
I explained already.
24.) Would you ever re-live it, to understand why it bothered you so much?
Never.
25.) What are you afraid of losing?
My baby girl and family.
26.) Why?
Beacuse they mean so much to me.
27.) Would it make you feel alone in this world?
I would be consumed in loneliness.
28.) Do you believe you're ugly on the inside?
Not at all.
29.) If so, why? If not, why not?
Because I believe I am beautiful on the outside and even more beautiful on the inside.
30.) Do you think you truly know and understand yourself?
Way better than I used to.
31.) Does it scare you to know you really might not know who you are?
No, I've accepted this fact and do not fear it.
32.) Does the thought scare you that someday you might find someone who wants to know everything about you?
I love telling my life stories to my beautiful woman.
33.) If it does, why? If it doesn't, why not?
Because I want to share the rest of my life with her along with my afterlife and if we're reborn I will find her again and love her again.
34.) Do you truly believe you have nothing to hide?
I try to wear everything on my shoulder.
35.) If so, tell me the most horrible thing you've ever done and why.
If not, why are you so ashamed of it that you think you must hide it?
I can't really think of one. I try to forget what's bad.
36.) Does it bother you that eventually you will die?
Nope. I have my funeral planned and choices of dying picked out already. Even though I deny it in public, I truly hope to die in my sleep of old age beside my baby. Us holding hands and smiling.
37.) Have you said everything you want to say to those you know before you die?
I usually always tell people that I love them and always make sure to hug my grandpa and tell him I love him whenever we visit him.
38.) Does it scare you that you might not get to tell those you love how much they matter to you before you die?
Yes, actually.
39.) What do you think you'd be like if you lost total control of your temper?
I don't want to know.
40.) If you're not sure, does that scare you? If you have lost total control of your temper, are you ashamed of how you got?
I lash out and do foolish things and say foolish things. I truly hate it,
41.) At the same time, do you really want to just lose your temper?
At the people I truly despise, yes.
42.) Is the thought of doing so liberating in some way?
Sorta.
43.) Have you ever had suicidal thoughts or feelings?
Yeah, who hasn't?
44.) If so, why? If not, what do you think about suicide?
It's only a permenant solution to a temporary problem.
45.) Have you ever partook in self-mutilation?
Never have, never will.
46.) If so, does/did it give you some sick pleasure?
If not, does it disturb you? Why?
Yes in a way. It's just so silly to do that. Then you have the scar to always remind you of what you did.
47.) Do you believe it's some how slightly fascinating how one person can hate something so much that they take their own life or hurt themselves?
It's all about the psychology of the brain. It is somewhat fascinating.
48.) What do you think compels them to look so much at the bad in their life?
Perhaps they've just found no other way to be happy and look only at the bad.
49.) Do you like to act 'tough' online?
And in reality.
50.) Does it give you some kind of self-satisfaction?
Yup.
51.) Why do you feel the need to act that way? If you don't, why do you THINK people feel the need to act as such?
It's easier to be a troll online because there's no face to face contact. I love it.
52.) Do you have a low self-esteem?
I dunno. Depends.
53.) If so, why? If not, why?
I've been bullied about my shortness but I've striving to overcome it.
54.) What would it take to lower your self-esteem?
Calling me short in a very cruel way.
55.) Would you take some form of pleasure from it?
No.
56.) Do you sometimes secretly like being humiliated?
No.
57.) Do you think you would ever like being sexually humiliated?
I never would.
58.) If so, is it because you feel guilty of WANTING such a thing? If not, would you like so sexually humiliated someone else?
No.
59.) Does the thought of being weak and powerless and completely at someone else's mercy thrill you, scare you,...or both?
Scares me.
60.) Why?
Because I grew up feeling weak and powerless.
62.) Do you act different on there than in real life?
If not, why?
I'm assuming the interwebz so yes.
66.) Do you enjoy that you can act however you want because people don't know who you really are?
A bit, yes.
67.) Would you act the same if everyone on here knew you in real life?
Probably.
68.) Would you act different?
Possibly.
69.) Does the key board give you a sense of power?
No.
70.) Does it make you feel like you can say whatever you want?
Sorta.
71.) Would you say something you've said online to someone's face?
Im sure I have.
72.) Do you think people can say inconsiderate things on sites because they don't know the person behind the avatar so to speak?
It's not right to do but people do it.
73.) Do YOU care that there's a person behind the avatar with feelings just like you?
Most of the time, yes.
74.) Do you think some people act like sluts on here because it boosts their self-esteem?
HAHAHA. YES.
75.) Do you think they actually act like that in real life?
Probably.
78.) Are you a different person in real life?
Yup.
79.) If so, why do you feel the need to act differently on here?
If not, are you truly THAT unafraid of what people may think?
There's not much difference between on here and in real life. I'm more open on the interwebz than real life because I'm uber shy.
80.) Do you crave attention at times?
Sometimes.
81.) If so, why? Does it make you feel important?
If not, why not? Are you afraid if people notice you they'll hurt you?
It doesn't make me feel important. I just like the way I am and want other people to see.
82.) Does the thought of being absolutely alone scare you?
Oh gods, yes.
83.) If so, why?
If not, do you CRAVE to be alone?
I'm afraid of someone hurting me or doing something.
84.) Do you consider yourself attractive?
If so, why? If not, why not?
I really don't think I'm pretty but as long as she thinks I am, I'm good.
85. If you were having a relationship with a person and you found out that you're both cousins or related to each other, would that affect your relationship?
Ewwww.
Peace, love and star-wishes my fellow comrades.
Commissions: Closed.
Trades: Closed
