SO it's almost 4am now and like... things are just going through my mind while heartburn decides to deny me sleep. And for some reason I couldn't stop finding myself fantasizing about submitting to one lone guy that I've had a crush on since high school. Worst of all HE'S MY BEST AND CLOSEST FRIEND! He knows my sexual preference, and even knows I've had a boyfriend before too. He's been completely accepting of it as well and of course he teases me about it but we're guys, so that's bound to happen, and it's never bothered me!

But the biggest problem, he's STRAIGHT and I straight out love him. I don't care how much of an asshole he can be at times, and hell, I'm all dom all top, but for some reason, he's the sole person I could see myself being the 'woman' in the relationship so to say (please no comments about it being sexist or some shit saying that >.> was just a saying).

Moving on, this guy has always been there for me, and hell at times, he's like a boyfriend. Hell, when I get cold he gives me his big hoody that's so warm and fuzzy <3 gah I feel myself blushing and tearing up and smiling while I'm typing this lol. He's my best friend for 10 years this fall, and always will be. And I'll never push him away with it, but I truly do love him, as more than a friend, and I respect him enough to push him to be with me.