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Don't mock what you don't know.
12 years ago
I just want to say that while I wouldn't leave FA, and I have been a fan of Zaush's work since I was 14 years old, the reaction by FA users towards a possible sexual assault as I've seen it has been absolutely depressing, disgusting, and infuriating to me. I've gone through the journals and most peoples' responses run along the lines of "I don't care! It's not my problem? AHAAHAH who gives a shit" Seriously, this is the kind of thing I see.
I've been in the fandom since I was 8 years old. Shit has happened to me that has caused me to stop going to cons and meetups, one of those being a fear of someone in the fandom who had done things to me. It makes me very uncomfortable, but what's worse is that people would react that way towards someone's misfortune, their possible manipulation and pain, and say they don't care about their sexual abuse. It's very likely they tried to pick themselves up and keep going, and perhaps they even enjoyed this site, and then that person starts working their way into their life again. Imagine how it would feel. Does it affect you? No, it doesn't. Does it warrent you telling people you don't give a shit that someone may have abused a girl? No, that's totally rude and tasteless and unecesary. You can definitely not care, but if you don't know anything about what happened, you don't have any right to mock someones' sexual abuse by acting like it's not a big deal and tell everyone it isn't.
I've said my part in it I guess.
I've been in the fandom since I was 8 years old. Shit has happened to me that has caused me to stop going to cons and meetups, one of those being a fear of someone in the fandom who had done things to me. It makes me very uncomfortable, but what's worse is that people would react that way towards someone's misfortune, their possible manipulation and pain, and say they don't care about their sexual abuse. It's very likely they tried to pick themselves up and keep going, and perhaps they even enjoyed this site, and then that person starts working their way into their life again. Imagine how it would feel. Does it affect you? No, it doesn't. Does it warrent you telling people you don't give a shit that someone may have abused a girl? No, that's totally rude and tasteless and unecesary. You can definitely not care, but if you don't know anything about what happened, you don't have any right to mock someones' sexual abuse by acting like it's not a big deal and tell everyone it isn't.
I've said my part in it I guess.
80% of sexual abuse cases don't get reported. I can list off all the reasons I never reported mine- when you know the person, and you cared about them before, the thought of ruining another person's life in some way is just impossible for some people- it's almost like you're being like the person who manipulated you. Also after you get manipulated you REALLY just want to forget it and move on with life instead of giving that person any more attention in yours. You feel they really deserve no more attention in your mind, they deserve to be forgotten forever so you can not be changed by it and live your life better than they are.
Them saying that it's not an issue because no charges were ever filed is impolite, but honestly they can't pick a side with no evidence and I get that. I just know it's completely depressing to a person when you marginalize their abuse, as opposed to no comment.
Complicating the matter in this case is that the accused is a prevalent purveyor of high-quality smut, so naturally they're going to side with him over any accuser of such things, lest they lose out on more porn. I would conjecture further that even if he were proven guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt in a court of law, there would still be a significant number of people within the fandom either maintaining his innocence or attempting to justify his actions ("she was asking for it," "she consented at the time but regretted it after," etc.).
This post isn't saying that you have to believe in it one way or the other, it's simply saying that for other victims, trashing on the supposed victim or making light of the possibility of abuse is hurtful and potentially triggering for anyone who has suffered sexual abuse, and it can be a very dangerous thing to do to them. Many users right now are basically making a poor reputation of FA right now for abuse sufferers. Many abuse victims also turn to art, literature, and music to escape their trauma so this would certainly hit hard for many users here.