i really need to get this off my chest...
i see people together, on the streets, online, what have you, and it makes me depressed... i've never had that. not someone to wander with, cuddle with... nothing... i've been with a couple ladies that might have had a little of it, but it's never <i>felt</i> right. every time i see someone i find attractive (both physically and for her interests and personality) i think "will she like me? will she even notice me??" and yea, i can strike up a conversation as well as any average person can, but every time i just... i don't even register. i'm not remembered or acknowledged. i'm not even seen... on rare occations i also have this thought of "this person is so amazing and cool and beautiful... and i am so not in her league. there's not a snowball's chance in HELL i have a chance at a girl as great as her." and in every one of those situations i'll just go about enjoying her company; trying to make her laugh or smile with my weird brand of humor. hoping at some point she might say something positive about my company or give some sign she finds me attractive...