this is my first journal and i kind of wanted to just do a rant. i dont expect anyone to read this or comment on it but if you do that would be cool. but anyway, I'm tired of people not giving me a chance to geting to know me. i've become alone in my life. sure i may have plenty of real friends, but they're company is not the kind that i need or want at this moment. i enjoy being around them but they cant give me that feeling of love and desire that a mate can bring. i've been searching endlessly for that ideal one only to come up empty on every turn. in fact i recently found a girl who was exactly like me in every way but she currently isnt looking for a relationship. i've actually fallen for her but i dont think she knows how badly i've fallen and i hope she doesnt find out either. i'm afraid that i'm completly clueless when it comes to matters of my own heart and how to express them without scaring others away. i do hope i can find love one of these days. well thats all if you read this entire thing i thank you.