*eats*

/end

THAT'S ALL FOLKS

Did I win?!

*enters room* *nuzzles* *leaves room*

*cuddles*

Hehe come right on in...

*comes right in*

*pounces!!*

"Sorry, we did not put out any ads, and, in fact, are closing up shop and leaving. Please leave and have a nice day.

OK THANK YOU

You're welcome, sir, and remember, don't just walk off a cliff next time. You might end plummeting into a pit of snakes or something.

Ah welcome to Raveyote Mercantile and pyrotechnics. What can I help you with?

Well, the ad said you needed some kind of explosives expert, and I've been exploded by PLENTY of experts in my day. Plus I'm handsome.

Excellent. We have just the stuff!

why yes it is, come on in. We needed a new test duck, our last one had a bit of an "explosive" problem near the juicing room. Already got the janitors taking care of that though. *opens door all the open*

Oh. Sorry, I was looking for the place next door. Have a nice day!

you too! Oh and be careful of the banana peels while your going next door. ^_^ *closes door*

*opens door* Sorry. All Handy Anvil staff is on break. Here's your complementary Anvil, 'cetera, 'cetera, blah...go play. *closes door*

Man, I love the Handy Anvil. I'm a member of their frequent buyer's program. :D

*Duck is greeted by a hyena in a lab coat, she pulls up her goggles to get a better look at him putting on her best cheesey grin*

Ahhh yes! We're looking for very,erm,..durable volunteers to test our latest line of ACME products.

Hey, whatever you just said sounds great! I wasn't listening because I was too busy being happy about someone else who wears goggles. I'm totally up for anything, especially the thing you just mentioned! When do I start? :D

Patrick (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7104875/ is dressed in a business suit behind a small messy desk full of papers, headshots, and empty junk food containers. The walls are covered in framed posters and photos or various acts of varying abilities. Some photos are Patrick and a famous person, sometimes with an autograph.
Patrick's tie is hanging askew off his neck, and the top buttons of his shirt is unbuttoned. He is sweating profusely and smoking a strong, but fragrant cigar. He coughs, drinks from a glass of water and speaks in a Brooklyn accent, "Yeah, I need acts to represent, promote, and get on stage. What kind of act do ya have?"

*The duck waves some of the cigar smoke out of his face, casting an unimpressed look at the talent agent before eying some of the photos.* Well look no further if you need quality, mac. I got the best stand-up in down. *The bird's rather unenthusiastic tone seems to betray his statement, as he looked at the stack of Chinese food boxes so big they could be their own Great Wall.* And so nice of you to dress up for my coming. I'd say roll out the red carpet but I'm gonna guess it's covered in teriyaki stains.

*Destroys your house with my pet Godzilla*

HEY. I needed that. >:I

Too bad. You're the one always blowing stuff up with dynamite. :p

"Sorry, we just filled the position this morning."

Oh. Well, sorry to bother you! Thanks for your time.

Well, sure! Ah, c'mon in!

*comes on in*

*sits down at desk in stereotypical job interview fashion* So, Mr.Duino, what kind of position were you hoping to fill?

Oh, I don't know! Whatever you had room for, I suppose!

Well, I'm sure there's a place we could squeeze you in... *presses button under table*

...did you hear something?

No, certainly not! *ominous rumbling clearly audible*

...are you sure? It's getting pretty loud!

Absolutely sure! Just sit right there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbEIX1giTho

Hmmmm...you aren't quite what I expected but I guess this can work...

What exactly were you expecting, wise guy?

I don't know...tall...buff...manly?

"It certainly is!"
A young Curtis Donovan looks up from his papers, grinning. Looks like you're just the person he wanted to see.
He is a handsome fellow; on the short side, but broad-shouldered and sturdily-built. He wears a light button-down shirt, slacks, and navy suspenders - standard fare for the region.
He stands up and gives your hand a firm shaking, using the double-handed politician method that you're used to seeing from salesmen and elected officials. It's the kind of handshake that actually moves up from your hand onto your lower arm.
"Thanks so much for stoppin' on by," he says. He's got a marvelously rich Texan accent. "Ah need all the help Ah can get right now."
You ask Curtis (he tells you to call him Curt) what exactly he needs help with. He lets out an overwhelmed laugh.
"Hoo! Just 'bout everything. Ah been tryin' to set up this oil company, see, but Ah'm havin' heaps of trouble doin' it."
You ask him why.
"Well, Ah haven't found any of the danged stuff yet."
He tells you that he needs more people out in the field with him. A few fellas had to quit on account of heatstroke, and it's getting mighty sparse out there.
It'll be worth it, he says. They're gonna strike it big any day now, he can just feel it. He's put his family too far into debt over this for there to not be oil out in that godforsaken patch of dirt.
Are you in?

Cut to Duino in the middle of a field, no one around, in a hard hat and holding a pickaxe as William drives away, shouting "LET ME KNOW IF YA FIND ANYTHING!"

yes good perfect

to phone: " no we're out of duck today"
*looks up* "Actually i just got one walking in the door" *hangs up*

"Come here my pretty!"

Awww, you think I'm pretty? :3

I dooo!

A particularly tall red haired vampire opens the door before promptly shrieking and belting the demonic talking bird of some sort into the pavement with a rolled up newspaper

I'm dying at the mental image of this. My blood probably tastes like duck sauce.

^w^

*nuzzles*

*hands you the duffel bag full of body parts*

Oh! I didn't know this was a mannequin factory! :D

Red pill or blue pill?

rams them both in my mouth at once

NOW WHAT YOU GONNA DO

Instead of it not being a spoon, it's not a spork!

Do you have anything in a nice pink?

Whelp, Weiro over here swallowed them. *zips away in a cloud of dust then reappears* Pink pill, purple pill!?

*Opens door* I asked for a girl.

...well, I can go change, if you want. :D

No, you're already here. How much is it?

*loud rushed shouts in the distance as you enter...* "would someone please sweep up the rest of that coyote and anvil debris please!!.... Oh, uh... hello!... Pleeeeeease come in!.....*

*enters* I dunno why but I have a GREAT feeling about this place. :D

Ah yes, another applicant. Come on in *I say, yanking you through the door. I wrap an arm around your shoulder in a very businessman-like fashion and walk you down the hall, firing off questions like rounds from a machine gun, giving absolutely no room for you to get a single word in edgewise* Do you have any experience? Where do you see yourself in five years? Have you ever commit a felony? Can you work weekends? Are you a good salesman? Sell me this bag of sand *I effortlessly hoist an extremely heavy bag of sand from straight out of hammerspace over your shoulders* You've been very quiet this whole interview, and you know what that tells me? It tells me that ya' got guts, kid. You start today. here's your uniform, and this is your new office *I hand you a sailor suit and walk you through a door that leads straight outside to a 50-foot drop* Good luck! *I slam the door behind me, leaving you floating over a chasm with a sailor suit and a 20 pound bag of sand pulling you downwards*

*The duck looks down at the chasm, then back at the camera.* Well. I've had worse jobs. *He waves pitifully at the audiance before plummeting straight down, a muted poof filling the air indicating a distant impact.*

I think I'm gonna like this job! <3

*the skunk pushes aside the ducks hanging from the hooks from the ceiling as he steps out from around the counter in the Asian Delicatessen.*

Aw, come in, come in. There is always a place here for you.

...I think I've got the wrong place. Excuse me!

"This is a toilet booth in a shopping mall restroom, ye goose!"

Oh, my mistake! Sorry sir! ...and you might want to find a new place to hang out, if that's the case.

And that's why they call me SewerGator.

it sure is, come this way Mr Duck *leads you behind a curtain*