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The great achievement: Teaching myself completely to draw
11 years ago
Of I, the boy who sat at school looking at a work paper for a hour because I couldn't listen to anyone else but myself my whole life, who teachers said I couldn't work in a normal school due to ASD and fell asleep in classes. Where I have been placed with the sole duty of figuring out everything because teachers alone are doomed to make me understand anything. Where even books I found way too boring and frustrating to scroll through! All I ever did is doodle in classrooms and do things only I could imagine to be contributing.
How did I do it?
It was finding myself the motivation to succeed and want to. Once I was a very broken lad, quiet and with no self esteem. I was given chances and confidence by being placed in activities that would awaken my confidence and yes people helped me there. At 16 I played in a rock band infront of 20,000 people with a rock band I was part of organized by a Autistic help group.
Even to do THAT was difficult. My whole youth had been where I had suffered a extreme violent parental divorce at 4 and then spent from 8 years old being traumatically abused of my brother for 5 solid years until my late father died. That youth had knocked all the wind of my sails.
My cousin thus inspired me to keep trying but then, it goes further back than that. I wanted to achieve my whole life. It was something inherent in me I've found. A job, to soar and reach my dreams. At 15, being with that rock band did give me however the confidence to suceed where I had none, but my passions drove me too!
Further back from there, I always had a love of drawing starting from when I could carve stones into pavements. I used to doodle away epic vore scenes of macros and whatever at 14 on paper and even draw out scenes from Sonic stuff and then vocalize what was going on in the scene as if it was one of those talking books.
Today just feels amazing. The idea where I could only very much look at anatomy books and find it very hard to scroll through most of the text and take anything in. To me, it feels like a acomplishment because I have suceeded where no one could teach me and where most things have been like this in life, still: WOW.
I am amazed at myself. At my ability to draw. From just doodling from anatomy books examples and more, simply believing that'll make me a better artist I think I may have even found the motivational story in myself to show OTHERS can do it too!
Otherwise, it's been a very long time. 16 years I've been drawing from pavements and all sorts. Yes I didn't have a epic college degree or school classes because even if I did, I wouldn't have taken the information in and slept in classes just because that was how I was!
But here it is, one of my greatest life achievements. I believe I'm becoming more and more of the epic artist and whilst being a student who again found it extremely frustrating and still does from others, I've done it. Figured it all out myself.
I am happy with myself!
How did I do it?
It was finding myself the motivation to succeed and want to. Once I was a very broken lad, quiet and with no self esteem. I was given chances and confidence by being placed in activities that would awaken my confidence and yes people helped me there. At 16 I played in a rock band infront of 20,000 people with a rock band I was part of organized by a Autistic help group.
Even to do THAT was difficult. My whole youth had been where I had suffered a extreme violent parental divorce at 4 and then spent from 8 years old being traumatically abused of my brother for 5 solid years until my late father died. That youth had knocked all the wind of my sails.
My cousin thus inspired me to keep trying but then, it goes further back than that. I wanted to achieve my whole life. It was something inherent in me I've found. A job, to soar and reach my dreams. At 15, being with that rock band did give me however the confidence to suceed where I had none, but my passions drove me too!
Further back from there, I always had a love of drawing starting from when I could carve stones into pavements. I used to doodle away epic vore scenes of macros and whatever at 14 on paper and even draw out scenes from Sonic stuff and then vocalize what was going on in the scene as if it was one of those talking books.
Today just feels amazing. The idea where I could only very much look at anatomy books and find it very hard to scroll through most of the text and take anything in. To me, it feels like a acomplishment because I have suceeded where no one could teach me and where most things have been like this in life, still: WOW.
I am amazed at myself. At my ability to draw. From just doodling from anatomy books examples and more, simply believing that'll make me a better artist I think I may have even found the motivational story in myself to show OTHERS can do it too!
Otherwise, it's been a very long time. 16 years I've been drawing from pavements and all sorts. Yes I didn't have a epic college degree or school classes because even if I did, I wouldn't have taken the information in and slept in classes just because that was how I was!
But here it is, one of my greatest life achievements. I believe I'm becoming more and more of the epic artist and whilst being a student who again found it extremely frustrating and still does from others, I've done it. Figured it all out myself.
I am happy with myself!
I hope it can give motivation to others though that if they wish to draw, they can too!
Motivation comes strange to me. The weirdest things motivate me. Like "I fucking hate that guy *approaches* Hey, I wanna be your pet, have this drawing I made for you~"