I'm so sorry

Swayzie, please forgive him. it's not your fault about what happened, he was probably skilled at hiding what he was going through. You said he was studying Psychology, that alone right there says that he was able to hide what he was going trough from pretty much everyone. Remember all the wonderful time the two of you had together, ok? I know that you are upset and mad right now, and that is normal. Please, I ask you when you can, forgive him.

I'm very sorry to hear that you've had to go through this but I can understand what it is like to have somebody you love kill themself if you would like to talk you're more then welcome to note me hun

I can't begin to imagine what you're going through but I know that no one should ever have to deal with something like this alone. You have friends Swayzie, lean on them for support, hug'm, cry, yell, whatever it takes. You're not burdening them, they're friends and that is what friends do for each other.

You should have told me.

Guilt trips are the last thing they need atm

I'm so sorry Swayzie :/

...I... really wish I could hug you... or something... Gah, that's just...

I refuse to let you just be on your own through something like this.

Damn *hugs* .

A lot of people are here to help you through this, as am I *holds*

Oh my god...

Awe, honey... I'm so sorry....

I know you probably don't want hugs but I'm giving them anyway *hugs*

*huggles softly* im so sorry swayzie, i know the pain is unbearable, but i hope you will be able to get through this and find someone new that can complete u. Get better soon.

I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you. I hope talking about this has helped you at least some, and that you'll feel better in time, and if you start to feel really depressed, TALK ABOUT IT. Talk to someone, anyone. Don't let it bottle up inside.

I'm so sorry to hear that. My best friend took his own life 3 years ago. I was very hurt and angry too. It's hard to accept and harder to talk about, but do talk about it! That's what friends are for; you won't be a burden. *hugs tight*

Sometimes you can't always see the darker things another person's going through. Some folks are exceptional at hiding their inner feelings. It's often times extremely difficult to pass your feelings along, most often because you don't feel like others should have to deal with that burden. You couldn't have seen what was coming. More than likely most anyone that knew him could not have. That's one of the things about depression. It can make you act in ways you normally wouldn't, or conceal yourself away behind a mask. Swayzie. It's not your fault, first and foremost. I can only imagine that it hurts. And it hurts a lot. But, please know that you are dearly loved by your friends. I know it's extremely difficult. Just please try not to forget that people are there who care for you greatly. Please, keep talking. Express your feelings, and your frustrations, and your anger, and doubt, and fear. Don't hold those things away and keep them bottled.

Please.

I´m so sorry. Plase don´t be harsh with yourself. Is not your fault he probably was holding that pain for a long time, and talk with your friends about it, true friends know that this kind of feelings are never a bourden. *hugs*

It's not your fault. You can't save people, you can only do the best you can to be the best person you can be, with the understanding that you're not perfect, and hope that it helps them but they're responsible for themselves. They didn't do it because of you, or because you didn't do enough, or didn't show up or whatever. They did it because for a very long time-since before they met you-they'd been carrying a weight, and some times, no matter how much lighter someone makes your heart, that stone drags you down.

I understand that it's very hard for you right now but you need to love yourself as much as you can. You are a kind, decent person very much deserving of love. You deserve to give yourself chance, after chance, after chance. The best way to honor the love they felt for you (because the fact that they killed themselves is NOT an indicator that they didn't love you), then you will do your best to be the best person TO you, FOR you, that you can be.

Just know that you're not alone. If you ever need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to add me to skype.

I don't even know what to say... But don't dare hesitate if you need to talk. I will listen.

to rest forever some may go in joy, love and memory do they live on forgive and live on be happy in your love and memories of the past grow and find new joy he would want that for you if he loved you as much as you say do not torture your self enjoy life lean to do so again

I've experienced the same, cept with my crush... it didn't make sense cause he was always so up-beat, turned out it was his last resort to escape physical pain that hit him when an annuerysm hit him.

I just remember thinking I wish I'd gone to the convention that i missed due to my ride skipping out at the last second. Would of been able to have seen him for the last time a week before his passing.... I even believe things might of been different had I been there.

Life is timing, multiple car accidents being a good example, maybe if i had been there I would of changed his path just enough to where he might of missed the aneurysm and not ending his life from the pain. Just how it is when you lose someone you love.

Even when they dont take their own life, losing a close friend..... Just end up wishing we had considered our mortality when deciding how long to be beside one another, maybe we would of held on for just a few more moments.

Its ok to not be ok at these times, our sadness is a testament to their greatness. When friends are lost I try to step back and really see their impact on me and everyone else. My crush that i'd had some rather intimate times with..... last person I could even fathom leaving like he did..... all I could do is look at the times we shared and remember all the good he brought out of me, and try and be thankful that the sadness was as strong as it was. Death sucks but people fall on a wide range of effect towards you when they pass, some none, some very little, some immensly...... if we lived in a better world.... there would be more of this sadness as we would be more connected to one another.

That being said we cherish the fact that our paths even met, out of the billions of people on earth, of all the lands, during these years of time.

When a friend I got to know through my mate, and later ended up having as a roommate, passed on after heart surgery, all I could think was.... I can only wish I draw the same size of a crowd that he did at his funeral. I knew he was a great guy and had many friends.... but when I thought how much of a friend he was to me, and how I felt, I could only try to imagine how all these people who knew him over the years growing up as opposed to the last of his years, could feel. I felt amazed that I was fighting tears despite knowing him significantly less than a lot of the others who came to celebrate his life. He was 34, barely getting to half way through his life, just starting at a cooking school when he passed, and yet he still lived a life with more love than others seem to get in twice the years.

Gotta remember the love of these close friends, and do our best to share it with those we still have.

I'm not entirely sure what to say... On the one hand theres the need for you to, not move past this, but incorporate it into yourself and perhaps be a stronger person because of it. Sure there are a lot of thing that should have happened differently, and that you would surely do differently now... but its done now.
You may or may not ever get over something like this. I've things in my past which I will never cease to have extremely strong feelings about. But life is taking what you've experienced, and putting it to work for you.

*hugs* If you want someone to talk to I might have a little insight on it from personal experience, if you want it, and I'm a good listener if you want that, even just that.

Lets put it this way

He was somewhat unhappy with himself but you gave him a reason to live
Though taking his own life, he's still alive technically

Even if he's not "with you" he's still alive in your heart and even though you "hate" him for what he's putting you through, push comes the shove, you say hate him, then does that mean you hate the times you had together?

I don't think you do, even now he's probably right beside you
I'm not very good with this kind of stuff
But, know that he's never going to die, as long you believe he's still in your heart ^^
*~huggles~*