I went to great grandmaw's funeral today(from mother's side of family)...I...it was too much...i was too shakey with all that ...overwhelming sadness...it was too much when i saw her casket...and then seeing her being buried 6 ft under.

idk how many times i got all shakey and near to losing it...I just wanted to break down crying....but I couldnt..I couldnt hold the tears back...I couldnt even talk much cuz of being all choked with the sadness...

So now that i am home, i am still trying to calm myself but I cant....daddy and I just texted earlier and he said that there s a good chance that my grandparents (his parents) might not live long either....that they might pass away soon cuz....they said tht they are in alot of pain from arthritis and their aching bodies...

I've already lost great grandmaw....but i am scared of losing more grandparents....Its too hard for me to endure the fact that i might lose more loved ones...

there is nothing that i can type to express how much emotional stress I am in...