FA+
Shop
-clears throat-
11 years ago
You stop caring about humanity, when you have the power to do something and you don't do it...
-taps the mic-
is anyone still here? o.o
For anyone who'd like to know what's happened to me, here it is:
Goodness, I know I haven't been here in forever and a half. After my last year at college everything went down hill from there you know?
I've learned a lot, not enough, but a lot. I learned to trust little to no one. That's the future that was built for our generation. I apologize for speaking so boldly but I speak from experience.
You grow up thinking who's to trust? Family? Friends? Nah, you can't even trust your school system. This gen is swirling around money, and those who have it stay on top, the rest struggle and fight to barely hang on.
I feel like letting go honestly, but a promise I made will not allow me. My fingers hurt and sometimes they bleed, but I can only imagine it will be worth it for hanging on so strong. They say you learn a lot, specially coming from the differences between school and real life, and boy did I figure out a lot. Professors, brothers, family members, friends... mere labels. They'll back stab you. Is it a matter of time? Possibly, Is it worth it? Sure, you learn a lot! n___n
Hey, it will hurt, but life isn't easy so why should any of this? I like the challenge. I can't say I got a joy out of it, since that would make me cynical. I guess this boy who walked out of a farm at a young age and now survives in one of the biggest cities has seen a lot. Been through a lot. Those people whom you let close to you, will use you if they can, will hurt you if they can, or they can help you. I figured out who was who. I was late to it but I learned. What happens when you put your all into helping others and in the end all they pay you back in is betrayal? Well if you can be used, then, why not use you? o.o
This is a hurtful word for those of you who have yet to experience things like this. Man up, better early then late! n___n Or live through the experience, you'll either crumble or you'll emerge stronger. -flexes-
So school is over!
My school did little to teach me much to what I need to survive out here, and of course they left me with a big fat check. So between trying to get money, working, looking for a better job, I'm tight knit in finding time for personal work and work to help my portfolio.
Where does this leave this account? With nothing but dust sadly. But no worries, I will get back in here one day. This place here, has left many memories, good and bad and worse. Some I'd love to forget but I doubt I ever will. My friends have dropped down to the mere small numbers, and I'm actually comfortable with that. I've rolled around some years dancing around what lies people had to feed me, from the closest of my friends too.
But forgive and forget right? NAAAAAH I'm not cool like that XD
I don't know. I don't know where I'm going, I don't really know whats ahead of me. I'm crossing my fingers hoping good news comes my way. Things aren't terrible, but I sure hope they get better soon.
Once things in my personal life kick start up, financially, I'll make some time to explore myself in my own personal way for all of you to see. Why not right?
My last few words, we're the ones in charge of our future. Our future, anyone's future won't be served in a platter for you to taste and decide whether you want it or not. There's going to be fighting, a lot of it! It's gonna get ugly. The generation ahead of us have made sure to leave a big mess, because they feel, like most people now a days that they deserve it, that it's a Right. No, it's a Privilege. The second you forget that the worst things will turn.
And remember, the picture you paint yourself now, will last you forever. It's up to you whether you want to paint over it or keep it there, to remind you who you once were, and to remind you how you never want to experience that again.
So yeah! n___n words! 8O
Oh yeah, I have a commission account drifting somewhere. Hmm.
is anyone still here? o.o
For anyone who'd like to know what's happened to me, here it is:
Goodness, I know I haven't been here in forever and a half. After my last year at college everything went down hill from there you know?
I've learned a lot, not enough, but a lot. I learned to trust little to no one. That's the future that was built for our generation. I apologize for speaking so boldly but I speak from experience.
You grow up thinking who's to trust? Family? Friends? Nah, you can't even trust your school system. This gen is swirling around money, and those who have it stay on top, the rest struggle and fight to barely hang on.
I feel like letting go honestly, but a promise I made will not allow me. My fingers hurt and sometimes they bleed, but I can only imagine it will be worth it for hanging on so strong. They say you learn a lot, specially coming from the differences between school and real life, and boy did I figure out a lot. Professors, brothers, family members, friends... mere labels. They'll back stab you. Is it a matter of time? Possibly, Is it worth it? Sure, you learn a lot! n___n
Hey, it will hurt, but life isn't easy so why should any of this? I like the challenge. I can't say I got a joy out of it, since that would make me cynical. I guess this boy who walked out of a farm at a young age and now survives in one of the biggest cities has seen a lot. Been through a lot. Those people whom you let close to you, will use you if they can, will hurt you if they can, or they can help you. I figured out who was who. I was late to it but I learned. What happens when you put your all into helping others and in the end all they pay you back in is betrayal? Well if you can be used, then, why not use you? o.o
This is a hurtful word for those of you who have yet to experience things like this. Man up, better early then late! n___n Or live through the experience, you'll either crumble or you'll emerge stronger. -flexes-
So school is over!
My school did little to teach me much to what I need to survive out here, and of course they left me with a big fat check. So between trying to get money, working, looking for a better job, I'm tight knit in finding time for personal work and work to help my portfolio.
Where does this leave this account? With nothing but dust sadly. But no worries, I will get back in here one day. This place here, has left many memories, good and bad and worse. Some I'd love to forget but I doubt I ever will. My friends have dropped down to the mere small numbers, and I'm actually comfortable with that. I've rolled around some years dancing around what lies people had to feed me, from the closest of my friends too.
But forgive and forget right? NAAAAAH I'm not cool like that XD
I don't know. I don't know where I'm going, I don't really know whats ahead of me. I'm crossing my fingers hoping good news comes my way. Things aren't terrible, but I sure hope they get better soon.
Once things in my personal life kick start up, financially, I'll make some time to explore myself in my own personal way for all of you to see. Why not right?
My last few words, we're the ones in charge of our future. Our future, anyone's future won't be served in a platter for you to taste and decide whether you want it or not. There's going to be fighting, a lot of it! It's gonna get ugly. The generation ahead of us have made sure to leave a big mess, because they feel, like most people now a days that they deserve it, that it's a Right. No, it's a Privilege. The second you forget that the worst things will turn.
And remember, the picture you paint yourself now, will last you forever. It's up to you whether you want to paint over it or keep it there, to remind you who you once were, and to remind you how you never want to experience that again.
So yeah! n___n words! 8O
Oh yeah, I have a commission account drifting somewhere. Hmm.
When I finally did, when he finally heard me speak, when he saw what it was that I stood up for he could no longer see me in those "grey" shades and vice versa. Now we're best bros and he was one of the few people who tried everything within his power to see me succeed. Compare that to someone who I saw no wrong from the very beginning, for years this person was seen through a "rose colored glass" as you say, not only by me but by many. If only I had taken those shades off sooner, but I say it made me a stronger person. n___n
Anyways, I think essentially what I was trying to say in my journal was. Open your eyes to the realization that you as an individual have to fight for you and for what you try and accomplish. I'm not saying that there isn't good in the world, not true at all, but be on your best look out. If you think there aren't people out there that are (possibly) waiting to take you down, then that realization will sting you oh so hard. Depending of course! Sometimes you could just brush it off~
Its just me to give someone a long time to prove themselves. I look for any good at all in them. Sometimes you don't have much to pick from, so you take what is good and go with it ^-^
There have been people I just couldn't deal with, but not many. My background could have had something to do with it - growing up labeled "retard" and "handicapped" doesn't get much positive experiences with people, so any good at all in people is very noticeable to me.
I guess I was too much of a softie, I forgave too much, people saw that in me and they abused the hell out of it. I was, too nice. I don't paint my world grey, nor black or white, but I sure as hell wont color you a rainbow until one has proven that they are worth my devoted time, and those who know me know I don't have much but damn it I'll find a way! I've forgiven, when others have walked away, But seeing as those, no matter the label people are still willing to go out of their way to hurt you, it seems you have to be ready, and know just about anyone can try and take you down. I've learned to spot those though, so, maybe I get some credit? XD
I hope that didn't make you mad, that last message seemed kinda tense. I guess its just a difference how a person views everything after all of what's happened. My personality is just sort of permanently shaped to a child-like trust and good view of people I guess. The only person I've ever truly hated was myself. I was in retarded classes till my senior year in school, social ineptness and being too trusting still haunts me with varying intensity of troubles... so bad treatment from people has just become more of a prod than a stab, and I try to put myself in the other's shoes if I can before making any decisions about them. Two different people in the same situation can have wildly different perspectives, this is mine. I have a few philosophies, and the one I have for people is still "Good until proven bad". Nobody has to agree with that, it's just my thinking. =3
But the time for pep talks and 'words of encouragement' has passed for the moment, I'm glad you made it. *hugs*
As an aside, Congrats on making it out of College and that you passed one of those hurdles. Kudoos. I wish you all the best I really do. *Smiles and wags.*